This topic has come up with various friends recently. Everyone knows someone (or is someone) who falls into the category that when they are at gma and gpas house, they are on "vacation". I bet you know exactly what im talking about or a specific someone comes to mind.
I find it interesting when i look at me and michael. When our parents are around at our house or we are meeting them somewhere, michael and I have quite a hand in our children. We are more lax about certain things, and defi etly take advantage of the extra pairs of eyes.. but we are very careful to not "use and abuse" the grandparents.
That being said! The fascinating part is when we go to my parents house or michaels parents. My first -instinct- is to fall back into my own "im the child and my parents take of me" role. Being the personailty i am, i see and recognize that and try reeeally hard -not- to do that. Michael has not figured that out 100%...and it took me many years to figure out why he was so different and acting so helpless (to a certain degree) when he was home. But a few years ago i figured it out - he totally falls back into that role as child.
Dint get me wrong, im not picking on michael and weve since had conversations about this. He is trainable. I jist think this a huge part of grandparent abuse - our reverting back to "children".
I think the major solution to this problem is that grandparents just need to say something. Since we are falling into "child" role it is in their every right to parent us appropriatly. "Hey stuart, take care of your daughter - shes getting into my garden and weve tried to tell her no but she isnt obeying" and "we are sitting down for a break, our eyes are no longer on the children". Or even more bluntly when necessary!
And for those personalities that are just lazy, i only can suggest that we be patient and kind with them. All we can do is take care of our own children and hope they learn thru example. We have to let grandparents set the rules and thus enforce them.
Anyways, just some thoughts ive been pondering :-)
