Headaches

Wow I'm a blog roll! So I believe I mentioned in a past blog about my headache pre-miscarriage that was mainly illeviated after returning meat to my diet. Anyways about 6-8 weeks ago (I don't have exact dates) I started to have a headache and I'm talking a daily on going never stopping mild headache that excelerates with activity, etc.  I figured it was pregnancy related and then vegetarian related and then miscarriage related...which all played a part I'm sure!

Well, the miscarriage has since finished and here I am still with a headache.  I wss beginning to think maybe it was chemical linked cuz michael has been having a migraine almost once a week...which is a fairly new development as well.

Wendy my blood reader lady was here two days ago (Monday) and I expressed all of my thoughts going into my reading...and side story: my blood was all "muddled" and all my lymphocytes were out on patrol "fighting" off a cold I had (which I didnt know was bad until the end of the day!) And thus my live blood was not too useful in seeing chemicals and such....so on the dry analysis she said my neck was in bad shape - which I found funny cuz my neck feels just fine and normal. Anyways, we concluded that I would go get a massage and a chiro adjustment to see if this neck problem was linked to my headaches.

I called my neighbor who is a masseuse and she saw me that night and per usual my shoulders and upper back were tight and tense and then she got to my neck and it was definelty tender (always is tho). And then she held at the base of the skull - the sub occipital or occipital, can't remember - and they HURT something fierce! She said that was almost always where you hurt if you have whiplash. I said nothing comes to mind and she asked if I'd taken any falls. ..and that was when the lihht went on. About 6-8 weeks ago I slipped down my stairs almost top to bottom! My neck had hurt briefly but it felt fine within the hour so I thought nothing of it!

Today (wednesday) I went to the chiro and my c1&c2 were def in rough shape. After my adjustment I trult felt like i was floating! Instant (but not yet 100%) relief. I was even a little woozy walking to the van. 

It was just fascinating to me how I came to ny conclusion.  So now I'm treating as I'd I have whiplash - heat and ice. I will see my neighbor and chiropractor one more time and hope that cleans it all up for me :-)

the highly sensative child

My mom gave me a book for christmas called the Highly Sensative Child by Elaine Aron she gave me this book because I have "concerns" regardinf some of logans behaviors. Some of those things involve: sensative to noise, sensative to smell, sensative to overstimulation, picky eating, fear of failing (to the point of unwilling o even try)....and so on. Some of the specific events include I have enrolled him in a variety of sport classes and long story shortwe have been asked to leave/not come back from multiple places because he just could t participare in a new event - completly afraid of failing and other issues.

Other things: he is sensative to color (those who know logan know that he requres the color green for everything, he's sensative to peooles feelings, he is actually really well behaved because he doesn't want to fail and he doesn't want to feel ashamed, etc.

The one activity I have him enrolled in is music - its the only avtivity he will do and I think its because music is very expressive and 'emotional'.

Anyways, this book has really helped me in a lot of ways. Firstly helping me know that he has a -trait- and was not trained this way. I felt like maybe it was "my fault" because of how he was as a baby and how we dealt with thise issues....but its proof to me more than ever if his highly sensative trait he was born with and that we more than ever did the best thibg fir him by cosleeping and not forcing detachment between him and I, etc. Again, it is a great book because I see how common his personality type is and some pointers for helping raise a confident and strong/man.

Wi th that...I'm blogging from my phone so I'm ending this now :-) but stay tuned for more on my findings!

our summer bucket list for 2014

I know its early but I want to get this list in writing - it will take time to prepare and schedule  some of these things. And its ok to repeat any if these thru the year - just want to do them all at least once!

-go to the zoo
-go to the glenmore spray park
-go to Riley spray park
-go to Airdrie spray park
-go to Bowness park
-walk along the river
-wade and catch minnows in Jumping Pound creek
-go to the military museum
-go to the telus spark in the fall
-make a volcano
-have a scavenger hunt - nature and ABC one
-organize a group bike ride
-slip and slide party and picnic
-have an fhe art show
-play bocche
-play baseball and soccer in the fields
-sponge tag or at least sponge outside
-go on a walk with binocculars
-learn a magic trick
-visit the fire station in the fall
-build toothpick and marshmellow structures
-draw our neighborhood and go on a teeasure hunt
-write and mail letters to grandparents
-a letter a day (aBCs)
-tin can telephones
-pine cone or milk jug birdhouses
-gardening

Craft Ideas
-paint a picture with lemon juice and play in the sunshine to see what hapoens
-sand art
-make bookmark
-sock puppets
-paint rocks
-homemade instruments
-make moon dough
-nature rubbings
-make a paperchain
-family mailboxes

Miscarriage #5

Yup, it's true. Lucky me right?

I wanted to blog about this one because it really has struck a different cord for me. I have been 'indifferent' about all of my past miscarriages but this one really hurts, and that surprises me a bit.

Here's the major differences: we tried 9 months for this one (while past ones have been 1-2 months of 'trying'), I actually felt pregnant (which I learned is from something else that i'll explain later), and my best friend is due the day before I was, and I was due on my anniversary (which was kind of a neat idea, not that I wanted to share my special date but I liked the idea at the same time).

The 'feeling pregnant': from about weeks 5-8 I felt exhausted, nauseated, irritable, and headaches. Around week 7 I had a steak cuz I had a pounding headache, and it immediately stopped my headache. Then the day I had my ultrasound (at 8 weeks) and found out that there was no heartbeat and the baby measured small - thus a m/c I was like 'well why am I still feeling all of these things'? And even tho I didnt' want to give up vegetarianism cuz i've just been doing it for over 3 months now, I decided to add one portion of meat to my day. Three days later ALL of my symptoms were gone. Basically I just hadn't put two and two together and my body just couldn't do pregnancy, then miscarriage and vegetarianism all at once. I have read many vegetarians actually eat meat during their pregnancies cuz they feel better doing so. So I was self inflicting my 'symptoms' LOL. oh well, live and learn! Actually... I did -live and learn- ...now I can use that experience and knowledge down the road for myself and future clients.

Anyways, the story: as I said, went for my standard 8 week u/s and the ultrasound tech was awful. She didn't let me see the screen once (I have done this alot, that never happens), was uninformative and didn't say a word to me, was curt and cold. I actually had to ask -her- at the end, after she suggested I come back in 10 days, why. She said the baby was measuring small. I then asked if there was a heart beat - which there was not. And since I have 28 day periods on the DOT, I knew it was done. And now, this whole week for about an hour a day I have mild mild spotting - nothing more tho, which has me concerned. I have always passed my m/c no problem, so i'm really nervous and stressed that I will require a d&c...which I know I cannot handle (will require being put under). Sigh. I'm just sad and frusterated. And then I don't konw how I feel yet about 'trying again'. Realistically it'll take 2 months minimum for everything to get 'back to normal' - maybe longer. So to have a baby this calendar year is seemingly unrealistic. It could happen but i'm not sure i'm even ready to try. I'm so sick of the act of trying...I hated it being a chore, and I don't know that I want to live like that.

And that brings me back to our ideas of adoption and/or fostering. It was apparent to me years ago when we went through it that it was something we should do, but then things haven't gone to plan and finances certainly aren't allowing us to do so at this time either. So... I'm just trying to live my life and pay of debts and hope that I feel some comfort soon. I think that's what i'm missing...comfort. I don't know what to do with my thoughts. A temple visit and some serious prayer is in order...

So, I feel like i've 'mourned' but I feel different this time around. -shrug-

Okay! And I wrote the above part of the blog on TUESDAY the 14th, and as of Wednesday night 9pm the miscarriage started! I know it sounds weird, but I found some much joy and closure in this very act! I am now just in the period mode essentially for the next few days. I already feel so much better :) And even the idea of trying again isn't so scary to me - crazy how 'closure' can just flip you right around huh? :) Doing much better already!