Christmas Day!

Oh how I love Christmas time :) We had a wonderful Christmas day! First we had to go to church and I was singing in the choir, so we were there early for me to be seated - I also accompanied a version of the First Noel on the piano with someone on the Cello and someone on the Viola, and 6 singers. It was beautiful!! We had a great church and then we rushed home to open gifts! :)

Logan loved it! He got a good haul - and he wasn't bratty or rude about opening/not opening certain gifts! woohoo! lol Our big gift to our family is Disneyland so we stuck to a pretty tight budget for Christmas. I was spoiled still even on budget. I got various picture frames, UFC Trainer for the Wii (for michael and I), my dad printed and framed my Anatomy certificate, got various nail/hair supplies, some soaps, and my mom got me a Spa booklet giving me 4 visits - 2 for hair and 2 for nails/waxing/etc. I got a christmas tree cake pan, and a flour sifter...i'm drawing a blank if there was anything else! lol I felt loved and blessed :)

But on another note, I just love Christmas time - I'm not sure why this year was so different, but I didn't feel stressed about finding gifts for people, I felt confident in my choices, and it was just very laid back. We had a big meal (chicken which didn't turn out very well lol) and various sides. It was lovely to have my mom and dad and brother home with us! The only downside both Michael and I felt ill last night in the middle of the night - havne't heard if my mom and dad did or not yet, but hope not! I'd feel awful it was something we all ate (i'm hoping it was the leftover chinese food we had for dinner).

And now we're off to Magrath for 2 nights!

Christmas is around the corner

It's almost Christmas! I feel like a little kid again, I love that feeling! It makes me think about all the scriptures that suggest we need to be as little children - it's the innocence and love that Christmas brings. I don't even feel the 'stress' of the holidays (ex: shopping) as we have really simplified our Christmas. I buy and/or make gifts for immediate family and friends, and I will admit I spoiled my boys...but I feel like Christ has really been the center of my reason for gift giving - a love for who i'm giving to.

My only sadness is that I wasn't able to do Christmas photos/cards this year with the timing of Carter's birth - but next year is a whole other story! :D

Anyways, I am counting down this last week with just as much excitment(or likely more than Logan because he doesn't realy understand 'time' yet) for next Sunday. We will go to church in the morning for sacrament meeting and then come home and enjoy a lovely family day together and a great meal and mingling! I couldn't be more thrilled!!

Girls and boys

I have been asked recently a few times (oddly enough) if I am going to 'try for a girl' - asking in such a way that suggests my family is incomplete without one. I'll be honest, I don't feel a deep desire to have to have a girl. I feel completely content with boys... of course if I have a girl I would be completely thrilled, but my family wouldn't be incomplete without.

Does that make sense? :) It only crossed my mind becuase I keep getting asked.

A little of this, a little of that..

Bowen business is booming for me. I am pretty excited for that actually - I am working on 3-5 clients a week, and that is my preferred max to be honest. Carter is still just a little baby and I don't want to be any busier than I am with Bowen at this point in time. But I have to admit, I have loved bringing in a little bit of extra spending money into the household - it has been paying for my fitness efforts (personal trainer & zumba), it has been paying for 'things' and objects - especially for Christmas, and it will be paying for new clothing for myself when we're in Disneyland. It's really rewarding for me. Also I have had realy great feedback from my clients and Bowen has been working so well for them.

One of my best friends had a tragic event happen in her life, and frankly I am just heartbroken for her! It is one of those things that there is nothing you can really do or say to someone in her situation because really, it's just a matter of letting her and her family mourn their loss. She is deeply in my thoughts and heavily in my prayers right now and I know she has a great support system and help to get her through. It's one of those events that you only -hear- about, and even though it's not me, it surely hits close to home because this friend is surely one of my closest.

Christmas is right around the corner - two weeks from yesterday. I can't believe it! I am most excited to see Logan's reaction and face(s) that day when he gets to open gifts from Santa. We did get Carter afew things and frankly I wrapped them only so Logan could help his little brother open a present or two. I love this time of year! It's so much fun :) The spirit of Christmas seems to affect basically everyone and it's just a joyous time. i'm excited to have my family at my house for Christmas. In the morning we will attend church and I am actually in the choir for the musical sacrament meeting - and even playing a song for one of the numbers (SCARY). But then we get to come home after church and have a lovely family gathering and gift opening, followed by a lovely dinner :) awesome! 12 days!!!

Aging..

I have particular noticed this past 4 months that I truly am aging. For the past 5 years I have really felt like I was still 21, but now I am starting to "feel" my age because I now see 21 year olds and think 'gee, how young are you!' - kinda like when I turned 19-20ish, I would look back on 14-15 year olds and think 'oh gosh, I hope I wasn't really that bad/annoying' lol, and not that I think 21 year olds are annoying or anything but they definetly are for the most part...younger. So i'm feeling 25 now.

Other things that make me feel older is that my body is changing, which i'm not thrilled about but am not against either as it's the circle of life right? I am starting to notice wrinkles forming, or my once silky smooth lotionless hands/feet now need to be lotioned and cared for, and the weight loss is harder now, and of course just the way my lifestyle is with children and a family to care for, etc - that can be tiring on any body right? Thankfully generally my energy levels havent deteriorated but my energy levels certainly have changed!

On the flip side I really am not digging the aging process! I like being young - and i've certainly got a handful of years left of young life and would argue with any 30 year old that they aren't old...as i've aged my idea of 'old' has changed. I used to think of my current age was old for heavens sake! My mom is 'getting old' as she is in her mid 50s lol, and i don't even consider her old!

But moral of my blog, I feel 25 now - not necessarily 26 lol, but for the next few years I will likely feel 25 (probably until I hit 30)...I figure I was 21 for 5 years so now I can be 25 for 5 years. :)  

My family: present and future

Now that Carter is born and life is really getting to seem normal again (as far as 'normal' goes anyways), I can't help but think about my future family size on occasion. We, as you know, have applied for the adoption of a child into our family. That process won't go forward until Carter is 1 year old but in the meantime I can't help but do some family planning! I am a planner through and through and like to think I have some control how my life will go (even though I know that my Heavenly Father has the ultimate say lol)..

Anyways, I HATED being pregnant this past pregnancy, which is definetly no secret to my blog! People have asked me if I will have more kids because of how awful the past pregnancy was, and frankly - of course I want more! I know we are planning to adopt a child but on the other side of the coin, I canNOT imagine not birthing at least one more child...and we will definetly still go forward with the adoption - so I guess my childhood dream of a family of 4 is pretty much set in stone lol..

So back to my 'having control' comment - basically as a planner, I like to be able to say when  I will have my kids, so after Carter turns 1 and we're on the magical 'list', we will prevent from having one on our own until Carter turns 2...if we have not been placed with a child by that time then likely we will start trying for a 3rd (and honestly, likely my last "planned" child) and then we'll just push back the adoption. Of course alot of prayer will go into it when that time comes but that's my "plan". It's near impossible for me to just sit back and not have my life planned out - if things change that's fine, my plans will change, but that's just my personality!

Now, side note: adoption - as of recent i've definetly had ....butterflies(?) in my stomach about the whole situation! I think it's just my over-thinking mind wondering about...everything! As Carter's birthday comes nearer I will definetly have to sit back and really pray and talk to my Heavenly Father about some positive reminders as to why we're doing this - I know from my past experiences that this is what we're to do, and I'm sure these butterflies are Satan's way of trying to stop H.F's plan from moving forward so i'm constantly reminding myself of that. Otherwise i'm usually pretty excited about the whole process!

weight loss frusterations..

I am my biggest challenge. I have this HORENDOUS sweet tooth that I haven't had to deal with since high school and I have no idea how to get a grasp on it. Honestly, being home full time is probably one of my biggest challenges however I will never change that just so I can lose a couple of pounds lol.

I have found though that I am just completely stuck at my current weight. I neither go up or down regardless how well I eat, or how well I don'tn eat. My naturopath suggested that multiple pregnancies can really screw up ones thyroid and that I should get it checked just to see. I don't really think that's it.. I think that my first comment of this paragraph is incorrect and my weight WOULD go down if I were able to eliminate all sweets from my diet on a continual basis. But this time around I am having a hard time doing that. Like, I start to actually salivate when I see something super yummy that I want to taste or try. And we are social people and are invited and go to many events that always have an array of goodies to try and avoid, and I never can!

I'm frusterated with myself and just don't know how to cut these last few sweets out.. thankfully I don't go completely crazy, but I know from my past experiences that I need to eliminate even the tiny tastes to get results, just for some reason I can't getmy mind and body to cooperate. -sigh-

My next thing is going to be find a personal trainer, which was my plan right after Carter was born, but the selection in Cochrane is realy small - like non existance. I found a potential/affordable one that i'm hoping to work with once a week, and then get back into Zumba once a week and hopefully that will motivate my eating habits to match my exercise habits.

signed, REALLY frusterated Kyla.

12 weeks old

So Carter is 12 weeks old as of this past Friday (so this coming Friday he's exactly 3 months old). We took him for his first set of vaccinations, and he cried something fierce! He cried all the way until he was latched on to me and then mumbled a few moments before finally settling. Otherwise he seems unharmed from the vaccinations. Today and yesterday he was a little 'off' but him being a little off is still not anywhere near where Logan was on a good day! lol.

I never really thought Logan to be a hard baby - I mean, I always admitted and will always stand by the fact that he was and is a cruddy sleeper, but he was a really hard baby in comparison to Carter! I am just blown away - I still sit back and think that i'm doing something wrong when Carter just hangs out on the floor or in his chair or swing without fussing - for like an entire hour! Or, the fact that he sleeps REALLY well! It's just amazing to me how different babies can be.

Now, similarities! Physically you can be the judge by the below pictures, but my boys definetly look like relatives I think. And Carter weighed in at 16lb 3oz, 25.5" long on his 12 week date. Logan on his 13 week date weighed 16lb 1oz, 25.5" long. Basically the same! lol... awesome huh?

Logan was really sick in this photo BUT it's a recent brothers shot lol

Me and my little Carter - what a joy he is.

My boys and I - I LOVE them

Carter 12 weeks old

Logan 12 weeks old

Life really is amazing for us right now. I have an amazing husband, and two amazing sons. I wouldn't want things any different. (well, I wouldn't mind losing my last 10lbs but that's a whole other blog)

Zumba

I'm in love with Zumba class! I don't typically jump on the popular bandwagons, but after trying Zumba classes the past 2-3 weeks, I have decided that I just love it :) ...maybe I secretly like the slighty more "spicy" way I get to move my body? I think it's fun and kinda makes me feel like Zumba is supposed to make you feel - a little bit sexy!

I tried two different classes in town. The instructor at the fitness center runs Tues/Wed 7:00pm classes for an hour. Then at the rec center they have classes almost every day starting at 6:00pm for an hour. I have been to most of classes at the fitness centre, but did go to the rec centre to check out their instructor and frankly she was just not near as fun and entertaining as the other! So my preference is to go T/W and then when I can make it I use the rec center as a back up.

The deciding factor is at 5/5:30 I see where Carter is as far as his feeding schedule goes. That determines which class I get to attend, and I try hard to make it work for the 7:00 class even though that's harder for Logan's bedtime schedule (if Carter's fussing Michael can't put Logan to bed until I get home at 8:10 - which isn't the end of the world, but just one of those risks).

on another note! I weighed myself this morning and I am definetly down :D I have had a VERY hard time getting a handle of my food intake Carter's whole pregnancy (thus the extra weight I gained) and even since. The past week and a half-ish I have been very good at counting my calories and resisting those cravings that I have been feeling. My end goal is to be able to get into my bathing suit bottoms before February when we go to Disneyland. Thanks to my friend Nikki I have been able to text or email her when I get those food cravings and I have been able to commit to her my goals (most days) for the day.
Its been very interesting. At certain points of the day (specifically from like 2-4pm) I just am thrown into this "starving" feeling despite the fact I just ate lunch like 2 hours earlier. It's to the point where I even start to like salivate and just want to eat anything and everything. That time of day has been and is the hardest part of the day for me. If I can go out or do some specific activity around that time I try to but that's typically when we aren't on the go and realistically I can't leave my house every day just because I don't want to eat. I'm not sure how to really deal with it so any ideas/suggestions would be appreciated!! (and no I can't have a small snack - that actually makes me feel hungrier because it's not satisfying enough). I think I need a body balance!!!

Potty Training

Potty training is everything I expected but 'easier' (knock on wood) then I thought too. It's all kid based I think. My biggest concern about starting Logan so soon (some would argue 21/2 is not too soon while others I know have all waited till their boys are 3) but Logan was down right ready - I was getting sick and tired of finding him half naked as he attemped to get his pants down and diaper off to go pee..

Anyways the past two days we have only had 1-2 accidents in a day! And we even left him in underwear for our outings around town and into the city. I put a plastic bag and a towel down in his carseat so should he pee (or worse) during any drives I won't have to disassemble the carseat to wash it. And now of course I have a change of clothes with me at all times for him too - more stuff for the diaper bag! sheesh.

But really, he has been really good at this whole potty training business. I keep -expecting- more accidents but there hasn't been any. I think the stress of that expectation has been what's kept me on edge more lol. That being said, his maturity level is still on the low-end and he gets to the potty 98% of the time because we are hourly (or more) hounding him with the question 'do you have to go potty?' and if he hasn't gone ina  while we just plunk him down on the toilet and he pees... he has yet to come to me and say 'mom i have to go' - so i'm not sure how long that will take for him to click into, but in the mean time I get to be that person for him.

Nighttime training - we aren't even going to think about crossing this bridge until he's well into his 3's lol. He does wake up in th enight and maybe we'll put him on the toilet at that wakeup but frankly he's always been a bad sleeper, so i'm definetly not going to -wake- him up to take him to go pee! LOL how silly right?

Anyways, my conclusion: as long as the kid is ready, potty training isn't too bad! -knock on wood-

Update - on everything

Good morning World! I haven't blogged in awhile and I have lots of things i've been wanting to blog but haven't, so i'll just try and remember things as I go.

1. Potty Training: I started this with Logan, and frankly he's doing very well I think! We go through underwear like no tomorrow but he's also getting to the potty. The part that's most 'frusterating' to me is that it hasn't clicked for him that he can go to th epotty without me asking him or dragging him there. He start to pee, then we rush to the potty and he finishes. So we still have to change his underwear even though he potty peed. -_- I know potty training isn't easy or fun and Logan is officially 2 1/2 with interest in doing it so I figure I need to jump on it. ...his thing is that by the end of the day (or like 2/3:00) he brings me a diaper and asks to put it back on. We talk about it and I say okay because by that time i'm usually getting tired of it all too LOL, so i'm not sure if that's a digression or a progression for him, it's only day 2 and hard to say! We will keep on trucking! Today we're heading to the city for hte morning so we'll try the afternoon for potty training instead.

2. Carter: He weighed in at 6 weeks at 13.5lbs and 25". THREE inches in length over 6 weeks, holy cow, that's some serious growth I think! Looking at his body when I change him, he has a reeeally long torso! It's been interesting even still with Carter for me. I love my boys through and through, but it's a different kind of love for each - equal love, but different. Does that make sense? ...on another note, he is still a pretty good baby! I am going to be transitioning him to his crib today (as he is 8 weeks old today)... I don't konw how that will go but we'll give it a try! I'm so used to just rolling over and nursing him then going back to sleep, getting up will be a different story. I'm going to sleep on an air mattress in his room for a few nights to transition... hopefully his cries won't wake up Logan every night! Thankfully Michael is still sleeping with Logan so if it does he should be able to put him back down. ..My midwives told me at my 6 week that Carter's weight is large enough that he doesn't -need- to be nursing at night at all, so i'm hoping to kind of ween him of a feed with this transition as well. I don't mind one feed, but 2+ is not okay. He's already a chubby baby LOL (it reeally bothers me despite mybest intentions that he has a fat neck with a double chin).

3. I'm throwing a halloween party on Monday! It's going to be a BLAST I think. I have 35+ moms & kids coming - being the numbers grew so rapidly I had to move my location to my church as my house would just be too crowded. I have a ton of games and activities planned, and I also have a healthy snack table (as it is hween so I stayed clear of too many treats). I'll blog about it afterwards but i'm pretty stoked about it.

4. ZUMBA. I have taken on a zumba class on Tues/Wed evenings! I had no idea what zumba was other than hearing that it's the latest 'craze', so I decided to check it out! Well there's a LOT of shimmy-ing and shaking LOL. I was like 'oh dear, am I allowed to do that?' hehe, so I of course went to the class again! Ha! After the initia shock of what zumba is wore of, the class on day 2 wasn't nearly as shocking to me, and it was even a lot of fun! You only shake as far as you'd like to take it, it's the constant dance movements that is the exercise, so you can of course really make it inappropriate or just do the base moves! I am going to keep it up for a solid month, combined with healthy eating and see if i'm getting results that i'm happy with! :)

I think that's all? oh wait - we did carter's baby blessing this past weekend and it was just lovely :)  - what is a baby blessing? Well it's basically a special occasion in our church where the father of the baby and other priesthood holders of our choice get to stand up in church and offer a blessing on your child, or a specal prayer I suppose it could be compared to. Carter was blessed with lots of beautiful words by Michael and then we had a lovely get-together afterwards at our home. I was pretty disappointed certain people didn't even bother to come or call and say they weren't but well that's why we've stopped attending their 'important events' because it's definetly not a two-way street. Other than that, I was really happy with the day and how it all turned out! Carter was a very good baby (always nice to have when there are crowds around LOL) .

The Plan of Salvation

Well as of recent I have been contemplating alot of things (if I can find the time to blog about it I will), but the one thing that has come to my attention is the question "what do you believe". As far as being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints goes, that question sometimes seems overwhelming because in all honesty, where do I start? One thing i've noticed is that people refer to us as 'the mormons' and that mormonism is all about these weird rules we follow (ex: no coffee, no sex before marriage, etc) when honestly most of those 'no...' things that we believe are all engulfed in something called the Word of Wisdom we have been given via revalation from Joseph Smith (a whole other blog).

So what do we believe? Well there are SO many things, in fact you could write a book on it! oh wait, that already exists (ha ha.. bible, book of mormon)..Well I think that the Plan of Salvation really does sum up a large majority of our beliefs, but most importantly it answers alot of questions that are also answered - why are we here? and where are we going? <--I think that is really the question people want to know what you believe right? All of the little rules and guidelines are really just to help us through the journey the plan of salvation lays out for us, and to help us be better people. So here is my understanding and testimony of the plan of salvation!

First of all, a photo that i'll talk my way through, a visual if you will :)

Pre-Mortal Existence:
Okay, in the PME is where the great 'war in heaven' happened. This is where we all as spirits had the opportunity to choose 'sides' - to follow Jesus or to follow Satan. Those who chose Satan will never be given a physical body (as that was what his plan ended up entailing, to follow Satan and never experience death, pain, etc but little did they know they'd also miss out on happiness, love, etc). We know that every person on this earth today chose to follow Christ in the PME because otherwise we just wouldn't be here! **This topic could be delved into deeper for sure but there's alot of information still to come so I'll keep it very basic. Ask me if you'd like to know more!

Veil:
There was a veil put up between our premortal existance and earth in order to allow us to come to this earth and have the opportunity to have free agency (which was Christ's plan). Basically it was meant for us not to remember the details so that we wouldn't be skewed in our thinking and we can make our own path and decisions. Basically Heavenly Father wants us to accept Him as our God on our own terms.

Birth & Earth Life & Death:
So we are born and live on the earth as we know it! This is a time of challenges and tests. Every spirit requires a body before the full plan can be complete. Christ also required a body. He lived on the earth and his test wasn't to forget the spirit world but his challenge was to Atone for our sins so we could all return to live in Heaven again - that was a requirement of the Plan. So on earth He was a perfect being, and then as the scriptures tell, he was crucified, and then resurrected. Death was part of the plan - death is a place where our spirits can leave our bodies and then we can be resurrected in a perfect form.

Spirit World:
After we die our spirits all go to the Spirit World. There are two parts to the spirit world: Spirit Prison (people who have not heard the gospel and will there be taught and have a chance to choose if they want to accept it or not) and Paradise (people who have accepted the gospel and are baptized and temple work is done - I think that's part of it anyways). There is alot of work going on in the spirit world.  Basically if a person did not hear about God or have a chance to learn of God on earth, there will be plenty of opportunity in the Spirit World to choose whether you want to follow Him or not (see, agency is key to the plan). We don't have a lot of knowledge of the on-goings in the S.W. but I do know that when people talk of angels and such, I think this is the spirits they are referring to - I think they are all around us on this earth trying to help and support us as Satan's 'angels' are trying hard to get us to choose him, or at least make choices that would lead us closer to him. (Side note: Satan's followers will never have a body but their spirits are allowed to come and help tempt us on Satan's behalf because he wants as many of us to follow him and not reach that godly state that we are promised in the end - why doesn't he want us to reach that? because he is a selfish and evil being and I think he has the philosophy 'if I can't have it, no one can').

Side note: I mentioned that you need be baptized to be in the Paradise side of the S.W. - and again, aren't mormon's the only ones on earth that are in the 'proper way'? Nope! well, yes, but that doesn't exclude people from the opportunity in the spirit world. In our Temples there is alot going on. One of the things that happens is we do proxy work - meaning we perform what is called 'baptism for the dead'. Having the full keys of the Priesthood in our possession allows us to do this kind of work. So we do geneology to find these spirits names and baptize on their behalf. Once baptized, on the 'other side' so-to-speak they then accept or deny it. Same thing for the other temple covenants - we can do the work for them on earth since they no longer have a body to do it themselves.

Resurrection:
When the time is right, Jesus Christ will come to the earth again - this has been prophesied to all of us in the bible and book of mormon. We refer to this as 'the Second Coming'. He will come and when th etime is right we will all be resurrected - meaning our spirits and bodies will be reunited in an immortal state. That is, not every spirit and body will be resurrected, but rather those who have chosen to take upon them the name of Christ (to follow God).
Judgement:
At the time of the resurrection we will all be judged on our works and deeds. This will determine our eternal glory. We will remember all of our mistakes, guilt and errors we have made in our life at this point. Judgement day is what makes the concepts of Repentance and Forgiveness so very important to our salvation - when you repent of your sins they are 'erased' so-to-speak from your slate and they won't be brought up at the judgement seat. In the chart there is something called 'outer darkness' listed. This is the place that all the evil people will be cast, including Satan and his followers at the time.

Three Kingdoms of Glory:
**This next part is what seperates us from other religions. At judgement we will be assigned our level of glory. I dont know too much about the different levels and if you can move up if you're placed ina  lower level, etc but frankly i'm just aiming for the top lol, you have to have a certain level of faith that things will work out if you do your best in our present earth life.

Telestial Kingdom - Telestial glory will be reserved for individuals who “received not the gospel of Christ, neither the testimony of Jesus”. These individuals will receive their glory after being redeemed from spirit prison, which is sometimes called hell. The Telestial Kingdom is compared to the stars because they are quite phenominal but not as big and wonderous as the moon, or one step further, the sun. I imagine this kingdom to be the 'bad' people of the world who aren't bad enough to have been cast out of the presence of God but generally were just bad people!

Terrestial Kingdom - This is a quote from the church website on the knowledge we have on the Terrestial Kingdom: "Those who inherit terrestrial glory will “receive of the presence of the Son, but not of the fulness of the Father. Wherefore, they are bodies terrestrial, and not bodies celestial, and differ in glory as the moon differs from the sun” (D&C 76:77-78). Generally speaking, individuals in the terrestrial kingdom will be honorable people “who were blinded by the craftiness of men” (D&C 76:75). This group will include members of the Church who were “not valiant in the testimony of Jesus” (D&C 76:79). It will also include those who rejected the opportunity to receive the gospel in mortality but who later received it in the postmortal spirit world.

Celestial Kingdom: Now this kingdom is where the misconception lies in the world about how 'mormon's think they're the only ones who can get to heaven'. In this Kingdom both Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ dwells - so you have to imagine that you would have had to be a very good person - or at the minimum trying your absolute best to be a good person during earth life. In order to reach celestial glory there are certain things that must be obtained: you need to have been baptized and you need to have made temple covenants. There is no other religion on this earth that has these particular ordinances in it's fullness and correctness. This however does not mean that only Latter Day Saints can obtain that glory but rather it means that if you did not have the opportunity to obtain these things but were generally one of those people that lived a wonderful life of -trying- to be a good person (ex: Mother Theresa) you will absolutely have an opportunity to obtain this level of glory - compared to the Sun. AND, just because you are a Latter Day Saints who has made those covenants does not give you a free ride!
One last note about that and i'll move on, but the Lord has also communicated to us that in the grand scheme of it all, he knows us each individually and knows our hearts and it is Him that will judge us at judgement day - not anyone else.



So! That all being said as a very simplistic overview of what I believe, all the 'little things' (like dont smoke, don't swear, keep the commandments) are guidelines to help us all reach that Celestial Glory where we will have immortal bodies and eternal life as gods and goddess' of our own kingdoms (which is what we have been promised). I truly believe in the Plan of Salvation (or sometimes known as the Plan of Happiness) and have a strong strong testimony in it, and I do my absolute best to keep my focus in that direction and that is what I want out of this life, is to be able to sit before my God at judgement day and him to say 'well done they good and faithful servant'. I'm so grateful to have this knowledge and to have a focus in my life as to where I am going and where I have come from.

Goals

Not sure 'goal' is the right word, but there are certain things that I have been determined to 'do differently' with my second child, and one of those was to -not- nurse my baby to sleep but somehow teach self soothing - or at least how to fall asleep with something other than the boob! lol.. It is something that I don't know whether would have helped Logan's current sleep issues or not, but I know that it didn't help things necessarily.

Anyways, tonight I nursed Carter and then right at the end he dirtied his diaper and thus I needed to change him which awoke him enough that he wasn't going to just lay down and go back to sleep. Now with Logan I would have just nursed him some more and been done with it, but tonight I had the specific mind set to put him back to sleep without - and I did! TWICE lol.. he fell asleep the first time, but then awoke from some gas pains - let out a big burp and then another poop, so I changed him again and then put him back to sleep!

This may seem really silly to some of you, but this is a huge step for me coming from what I had previously experienced. (It's actually extremely helpful that i'm aware of Carter's gas/tummy pains because nursing him continually actually makes him worse in some cases so I have the added incentive not to excessivly nurse him or it causes him physical pain from being 'too full' you could call it)

1 point for Team Kyla! go me!

PS. Had extremely amazing success taking Carter to the chiropractor...like, instant relief in an almost magical kind of way. I had tried Bowen and homeopaths, which helped to a certain degree but weren't really helping long term, so I remmebered hearing good things about chiro and took him in to my lady up the street - and holy cow! I was shocked. Stuck about 5 days, then I took him back for a follow up and he's just doing so well.

Christmas Advent Calendars

http://www.timeenoughforlovecalendars.com/children.shtml

I am going to be purchasing one of these for Logan and Carter to share this year - due to liability they don't have gifts for under 3 years old this year, so I will be purchasing it empty and filling it myself :) But I just absolutely LOVE the idea of this! (the company is run by my Aunt)

Anyways, I have so many ideas for this year and years to come for filling it! I am going to do gifts, and acts of service ("today we're going to make cookies for so-and-so") and activities ("coupon for a day at the playplace") - it will be alot of fun!

Cocyntal - a miracle homeopath

This is a MIRACLE worker... so it's a product called Cocyntal "baby colic" for -abdominal pain, -cramps, -spasms, -intestinal gas in chilcren 1-6 months old. It's a product by Boiron Laboratories - you may even recognize the brand by the little Koala wearing the doctor headband thingy, as they have a few product lines for teething, etc.

Anyways, For the past 2 days, and then sporadically over the past week, Carter has been suffering from tummy pain but definetly yesterday and the day before was the worst of it. I called my midwives to inquire if they had any suggestions as I had been trying gripe water, but it just wasn't touching the pain for him. All Carter wanted to do was nurse as that is calming for babies, but adding more milk to it was making it worse (at first I thought he was hungry still but I quickly learned that wasn't it). So Joy (the midwife) recommended I pick up this Cocyntal (you can get it at shoppers drug mart or health food stores or even places like Superstore I think carries it) and I ran out and got some.

The instructions on the packaging are a little confusing to me, so I asked the health food store lady how it all works, and she said with homeopathics you use it symptomatically - so when you have the symptom you use it, when you don't - you don't! So as he is suffering you give him a dose, wait 15 mins then give him another, wait 15 mins then give another - can repeat the same cycle one more time. With Carter I gave him one dose and he calmed for a few minutes but by the end of the 15 mins he was screaming again so I gave him another and that did it! He was a HAPPY little guy until he fell asleep for the night! And today he didn't even cry out of discomfort until 10am! So I gave him 1 dose and that's all it took - he has been a happy camper. Like, I wish I could explain my surprise and excitment because if you had seen and heard him crying almost the whole time he was awake the past 2 days, you'd see how phenominal this stuff has been.

So every new mother should have Cocyntal AND Callendula AND Arnica on hand for birth and delivery and then your baby afterwards.

Callendula: use in your peri-bottle and on the baby's umbilical cord
Arnica: take during labor and the day after - helps heal bruising and cuts, etc.

a few updates since carter's birth

1. Nursing has gone phenominally with Carter - he's a great nurse-er. I really appreciated the midwife care as far as this pregnancy goes - they did NOT try and shove my entire boob into Carter's mouth, they did NOT try and force me to wake him to feed every 2 hours from day one (in fact they told me that the first 24 hours he will likely sleep most of it away so just let him wake up when he wakes).

2. Midwife care -post- pregnancy has also been phenominal! I really appreciate all they've done. They came to my home the next day after Carter was born, then called on day 3, then came to visit on day 4 and day 5, then called day 6. I have also full access to them should I need them day or night via the midwife pager - which I have taken advantage of completely and thoroughly. Next week I will take him to clinic to be checked, then they are available for questions/concerns up until his 6 week check up when after we'll be referred back to our family doctor.

3. Post pardom. Never thought i'd suffer from it, but boy oh boy I surely have and it gets worse each day! I dont' even know how or where to pinpoint what the problem is but it's centered around Logan & I.. he is being your "typical 2 year old" (though I hate to label this attitude as that as there are tons of two year olds who aren't the same as Logan, but it's best explained that way for now). Anyways, he has always been a bit of a handful as far as certain things go, but now that I can't drop everything and tend to the misbehavior I find it just drags me down and ta-da!, the tears start a flowing. Logan really gets upset when I cry and that just makes it worse. But all things said and done, the tantrums he throws are just out of control and I don't have a CLUE where to even start with them. It's frusterating, and they are really quite ridiculous - ex: this morning (as I do EVERY single day since we've lived here) I pulled open the basement blinds...well he just blew up randomly and next thing you know he's screaming at the top of his lungs and yelling and hitting and kicking me for opening them. I asked if he'd like to open them, offering to close them and let him do it, but nothing would settle him. Thankfully Michael arrived home from a quick trip to work after about a 15 minute scream fit and it distracted him enough to stop crying. But that's what i'm talking about - stupid things like that. Carter wasn't even up yet and wasn't even in the "picture" yet as far as getting started with our day goes so it's not like I was distracted from giving Logan full on attention (which I was at the time...).

Yup, so I just am not handling it well and I think the biggest part that causes me to be so emotional is that I want to send Logan away for a couple hours to a friends house or something so he can play and have that attention that I can't give him...but then I feel really guilty for wanting to send my -baby- away. I ended up calling my midwives about this because I wanted to be sure there wasn't something as far as post pardom goes that I was/wasn't doing...and she talked me through a few things, and gave me some good advice. She said "feeling guilty is a choice" <--which is something i've blogged about except the emotion of Anger, so of course guilt would be a choice as well. She continued to say that Logan will always be my first born and will have a hard time adjusting, especially during the first 6 weeks of Carter's life when Carter will need more of my undivided attention - he has to come to accept that Carter is here to stay and mommy loves both her boys. She also said that I am no less of a mother if I have to ask for help, and that I should - sending Logan "away" is not sending him away forever, it's sending him to a safe environment where he will learn that it's okay to be away from mommy because mommy will be back for him, etc, etc.

Anyways, I really appreciated the advice and I am going to try and remember it next time Logan has a fit that causes me to feel the way it's been making me feel.

4. Carter: he is still a dream! We love him and he is a sweet sweet baby. He is a great sleeper and a great nurser and a great pooper LOL. :)

5. My belly is almost 'gone', not as quick as with Logan but I put on 38lbs this pregnancy instead of 20 like Logan's.. of course it'll take a little longer, but it has shrunk down to a little squishy fairly quickly, so that's a bonus! I have 15lbs to go to reach pre-preg weight, then another 10 to reach my smallest point after Logan so I have a 25lb weight loss goal with a 6 month goal of reaching that weight, which is 4lbs a month... I am looking forward to the end of the month when I can start working out. I will be taking a 10-12 week fitness class that just runs once a week, and we're also starting a workout video 'class' at the church on Tuesday mornings.. we'll take turn watching the kids and do group fitness together.

Carter's Birth Story

Well as you all are VERY well aware, this pregnancy was far from a good pregnancy, so of course the labor/delivery followed suit as far as being completely unexpected and not what I thought would happen! lol Lots of positive and of course a few negatives.

First of all, my entire experience from first contraction to birth was 11 hours, resulting in a beautiful laid back baby boy, Carter Reid 9lb 8oz, 22" long - birthed at our home.

I woke up at 2am with my first contraction. Being i've had many wake up nights over the past weeks with similar pain, I got up and watched Drop Dead Diva while waiting to see if these were going to be consistant ones or not. For the next hour and a half I had them consistantly every 5 minutes. Woohoo right? Baby was definetly coming! At this point (3:30) I called the midwives and they were just finishing up at a birth so they would be over as soon as they could. They came over at 5:00am to check me and hook up my IV. I was 4-5cm dilated and having contractions about 4 mins apart on avg.

The IV process itself was horrific! They blew through 2 veins (the first one hurting reeeally badly) before getting one. I poured out blood, all over my bed too, but it came out no problem. lol I was very forgiving surprisingly - I am not sure why it didn't really bother me too badly! They left about 6am and I was able to go and lay down/sleep till about 7:30am when Logan woke up.

My mom arrived around 7:30am to be able to take Logan for the day. At about 9:00am two of the midwives came back and they sent me out for a walk as they set up all their equipment and such, so off we went for our first of two walks. We got back and I got Logan's stuff together for the day and sent him and my mom off around 10am, and then Michael and I went for another walk. At this time my contractions were about 2-3 mins apart (but the contractions though uncomfy were definetly not unbareable). When we got back to the house around 11:00am the midwives asked if I would like to be checked, and asked if I wanted my water broken if I was 8+cm. They assured me it didn't hurt so I agreed. Sure enough I was about 8cms so they broke my water, which didn't hurt, it was just the discomfort of an internal test that bothered me so that was not to bad.

At this point what I did NOT expect was the water breaking to basically push me right into transition. So by this time it was 11:30 and transition started and HOLY COW - OW! It was waaay worse than Logan. It took me about 45 mins to get the hang of how to 'push properly' (I know that sounds weird, but those who have had natural births definetly understand what i'm talking about there) and then it was about 45 minutes of actual pushing him out. I couldn't even believe how much more this labor hurt than Logan's - not sure that the extra pound on Carter's birth weight really made that much of a difference or not? Anyways, all I know is that if Logan had been as painful I would have planned on some sort of drug medicaton for this time around - that's how I know it was worse and not just me thinking it was lol. But I made it through drug free and voila! Baby Carter was born. (He came out really swollen and bruised on the face and he was also tongue tied which we had snipped at his appointment the next morning - the brusing and swelling is healing just fine).

Now, just to touch on the midwifery care: I loved the midwife care that I recieved! There was three (as they have two typically present, and right now they have a student with them), so having three women surrounding me and my husband, all of whom were talking calmy and supportively, but firmly when necessary. I was able to comfortbly move from my bed, to waking, to the toilet, to my bed with assistance of a women who was just dressed in comfortable clothes herself, not all 'sterile' feeling like nurses have to be when at hospital (of course they were clean lol but i hope you know what i mean by that last sentence). Anyways, I LOVED being able to be home during all the contractions and transition and not have to worry about knowing when to head to the hospital and being sent home if it's too soon, etc, etc.

The other nice thing about midwife care is you consulted about EVERYthing. Like for example in hospital after baby comes out, they take baby and they give it a Vitamin K shot, and put on an eye oinment on the baby, and give you a shot of oxytocin - typically without asking consent.. the midwives pre discuss with you the pros and cons of each of these and you then have the option to yes/no each detail. I really enjoyed that, because not that I had a specific preference either way, but I like learning things and knowing what they're doing.

The things I did -not- love about a home birth: 1. Having to supply everything that would have been taken care of at a hospital (linens, towels, etc), 2. Though they cleaned up everything and whatnot and started laundry, we had to finish the loads of laundry as they don't sit and wait for cycles to finish, etc 3. After labor bleeding - after the midwives had left and I went to the bathroom for the first time I gushed blood so badly all over my bed and the floor and of course between Michael and I we had to clean it up - definetly not a problem at the hospital. 4. Not having that magic 'call the nurse' button in the middle of the night. I did not need it that first night, but I liked having it there. 5. I really like hospital food, call me weird but I do! ...and that being said, my mom cleaned my house up for me (regular tidying/cleaned my bathroom/kitchen), and if she hadn't I would have been stressed about that.

So stuff like that (the after labor/delivery stuff) is what I had a harder time with. Idealy I think I would in a future pregnancy choose to deliver in hospital WITH midwifery care... but we'll see what the future holds :)

Okay, what else... there was something else I wanted to touch on, but i'm drawing a blank. Oh ya! The things I wasn't anticipating after birth. The utertine contractions afterwards have been really painful! I know I had the contractions after Logan as that's just normal for a women's uterus to get back down to size, etc, but they have been much more painful this time which I also read is normal. Also my back has been in agony! I am trying to set up some Bowen treatments but things just take time to get done. I was also not expecting to HEAL so quickly! I konw that sounds weird, but I swear it's because of this stuff called "Callendula" that the midwives gave me. It's a homepathic tincture that you put in your spray bottle for 'down there' (it's also something you use on the umbillical cord) but less than 48 hours later I can painfree wipe after going to the bathroom. Sorry if that's too much info lol (PS. I did not tear despite the size of this baby - I was super shocked!) Anyways, Callendula - I highly recommend it, and may even start getting it for people as their gift from me!

I'm sure there's something I missed so if you have questions don't hesitate to ask, otherwise, that's the jist of our story.

Thought of something! Michael's experience: He said he absolutely loved the midwife care and would absolutely do it again. For him it was great because he was able to be present, but not have to talk and comfort me with words and 'inspiration' as these women did it for him - but that was something discussed with me before, the kind of involvment Michael wanted in the delivery process - and they were good to get him involved and tell him what to do, which was perfect for him because he is not a go-getter type. He felt much more comfortable as far as the spouse position of labor goes this time around.

Last comment: Logan came out looking like a cute newborn baby, and Carter is definetly cute but he isn't that 'wow he is SO cute' picture perfect baby that some newborns are lol, that was an adjustment for me - but he's getting cuter and cuter every day and I am SO in love with him! We all are - Logan's a happy big brother, and Michael has claimed his as 'his baby' because Logan was so hard on him lol.

Interesting fact

No baby yet. My friend Crystal however made a comment on the blog prior to this about how maybe my dates could be wrong - which got me thinking and reminded me that though I am 100% confident Logan was early, this baby was a different situation as I had only had 2 periods since my ectopic preg/surgery and frankly it's hard to say what my ovulation was like as I hadn't had -that- many periods prior to that as I had miscarried before the ectopic AND not terribly long before that just gotten periods after nursing. So yes it is a possibility that though I had 2 periods to track that the baby is not 'cooked' up to the 40 week point by Aug 28.

That being said I had a midwife appt today and this was the appt where they asked if i'd like my membranes swept, or however you call it, which if you're surprised or not, I said no to. Frankly it hurts me so badly 'down there' to go internal that I figured, why cuase all that extra emotional (and physical) turmoil when it's not a guarentee, and it only brings on labor if the baby is TRULY ready to come out! So they checked baby, everything feels and sounds right, etc. I did mention the 'could my dates be wrong' and well they looked back at my file and per my -period- dates, Aug 28th is my due date. Per my early dating u/s my due date could argubly be Sept 1 (tomorrow). So.. this week is my due week, but depending how you want to argue it determines what my due date could/should be. Confusing right? It's too bad babies come when 'they're ready' because all in all the above doesn't matter lol.

Still in the end I have been impatient, irritable and ready for this baby to be out for weeks! Lets see what the next few days bring!

If another person...

If one more person tells me that the 'baby will come when it is time' I am going to snap (more so than I already have). Don't people think I know that? It's like when someone passes away (yes poor comparison), but frankly I don't think anyone wants to hear 'it was his/her time to go' - frankly most people probably don't want to hear anything other than your sorry for their loss! Just be sorry for me, that's all I want. -_-

signed,
a Kyla that I hate being but can't help it at this present time no matter how hard I seem to try

Not coping well

Not doing well today at all. Miserable and just plain sad.

False Alarm

Last night (Aug 19) I had what I call a false alarm. Before you read this know that I will be quite detailed about what I was experiencing :)

First I woke up and had to pee quite substantially, which is something that I've noticed isn't common this pregnancy - usually I feel like I have to pee really badly but then it's an unsatisfying 'trickle' - well I had a very satisfying pee lol, which made me think 'hmm'. This was about midnight (also the exact time my water broke with Logan).

About 20 mins later I needed to go again! This time when I stood up out of bed I felt a VERY distinct 'drop' of the baby, followed by a very LOUD crack... my right hip that has been giving me grief this entire pregnancy totally cracked and I paused in my tracks immediatly thinking "am I broken?" but then quickly realized that it actually felt amazing! I could walk without limping/waddling and there was absolutely no pain! Well I then went and got a second very satisfying pee (lol) and then realized my tummy felt upset.

At this point i'm thinking, gee, what's going on - im sure I wouldn't be the only women to be thinking "is this the moment? is baby coming?" but I still didn't have any concrete evidence... sure i'd pee'd and sure i'd felt movement and sure I didn't feel well but that's not always labor.

Anyways, I went and laid on the couch and a friend of mine had texted me about half hour earlier in reply to a text I had sent her, so I responded and she was awake! So I had someone to chat with while I waited to see what happened. I was waffling the whole time whether or not to call the midwives and whether or not the icky tummy feeling was something just unsettled or if the crampy feeling was contractions. In the meantime I noticed that my tummy had gone completely mushy - like I mentioned earlier, I had felt a distinct drop and the baby was a good 1-2 inches lower, thus leaving that squishy skin between my chest/ribs and the top of the uterus.

I made an attempt to 'time' the pain, but there was absolutely no consistency and sometimes it would feel like a braxton hicks, sometimes a cramp, and sometimes just gurgling... Anyways, I lay awake until about 2:00am and finally decided it wasn't anything to disturb Michael about or the Midwives as nothing was escalating and nothing was changing, so in my exhaustion I finally fell back to sleep.

So of course now i'm overly hopeful that the baby is realy getting ready and will be on his/her way maybe even tonight, but my hopes and wishes have been crushed each and every time this far so i'm trying to bring my head out of the clouds and continue on. I do hope it comes tonight though for an extra reason that they are calling for +30 degrees here tomorrow, then +25 and higher all next week - I'd like to have baby before the heat hits!

PS. My latest symptom the past 3-4 nights has been something called pregnancy induced carpal tunnel - which flares up at night time for me.. Last night I actually taught Michael the carpal tunnel Bowen move (in it's most simple form, it's best used when you do a full balance, but obviously Michael isn't a Bowen Therapist so I do what I can) and it did WONDERS. My hands didn't even hurt at all last night! In fact, they didn't start hurting until about 6:30am when Logan crawled onto the couch with me and fell asleep on my arm, causing stress on the carpal tunnel nerve(s).

As of today this is my official longest pregnancy

I think with Logan I was just prepared for a 40 week pregnancy and when he came early it was a pleasant surprise - now that i've had an early pregnancy I want it again but there's just as much a chance of it coming tonight as there is for it to come in 2 weeks... scary.

Oh well, i'm sure i'm supposed to 'learn something' from all of this - but i'm not prepared to figure out what that is until a later date when I can put this miserable experience behind me and move forward with my beautiful baby boy or girl whom i'm VERY excited to meet :)

Full Moon/New Moon
PS. Interesting fact: apparently more babies are born on full moons (to the point that various hospitals have extra staff on a full moon), so my wish for a baby born on the 14th (also a full moon) was really intriguing to me... after I didn't get that I decided to look Logan's birth date up and see if he was on or close to a full moon - alas he was not..two weeks prior to him (so I would have been 36 weeks pregnant) was the FM. Logan was actually born on a "New Moon". And then I looked at my due date for this current pregnancy and my due date is actually on a new moon as well - isn't that funny? I can't make any kind of hypothesis or judgement yet about that but as far as new moon's go, there is no link to more babies being born on them, however again, depending when this child graces us with his or her presence I might be able to make a statement about my body liking NM's.

Grandma's Dream
My grandmother had a dream like a year ago that she would have 6 great grand-babies this year, 4 boys and 2 girls. Well, i'm the last and final and she's to date had 3 boys and 2 girls.. so by her guess/dream I'm supposed to have another boy. Also most people who look at me figure i'm having a boy as per the way i'm carrying. There are a few more girl guesses this time around (ex: my father in law keeps saying 'she') but mostly still boys.

Baby Names
I have my official girl and boy name picked out.. I do have some 'backups' in case baby doesn't look like the names we've chosen but it just sort of all fell into place as of this week as far as names go :) so i'm excited more than ever to see what gender we are given!

Something that just crossed my mind...

I was in much better shape when I was pregnant with Logan - I wonder what will happen during this labor/delivery because this time around I have -not- been able to work out at all due to sciatic, hip, back & 'down there' pain/discomfort. I will never be able to prove anything as far as it being linked if this 2nd delivery is worse, but it's just something that crossed my mind.

On another note - wish me luck as date #1 of choice comes into view tonight at midnight and all day tomorrow :) (the 14th as mentioned in past blogs) - officially 38 weeks tomorrow.

Charts

We have decided to incoorporate a few charts into our daily routine in our family.

Chart #1: The House Rules
Chart #2: The Bedtime Routine

The first has been placed by the time out chair and engulfs probably 95% of the reasons that Logan is in time-out at any given time. The goal is to point out and acknowledge that whatever his behaviour at the time, it was against the rules. The theory of something concrete to look at I guess. He's a wee bit young to fully comprehend but I figure if we start now it'll grow into an understanding. There are only 4 rules: 1. Respect and Love One Another (no hitting, no biting, no pushing, no whining), 2. Have Good Manners -> Be Polite (say thank you, please, bless you, excuse me), 3. Clean up and Share (help clean up toys and share our toys with our friends), 4. Have Regular Family Time (Monday night FHE, one-on-one time with Logan per parent weekly and a date night monthly for momm and daddy). Each time he's placed in time out he is reminded of the rule, which I have written in such a way that is a positive.

The second is a list of things that we do (with a cooresponding picture) at bedtime. 1. PJs, 2. TV Show, 3. Glass of milk, 4. Brush teeth (a reminder more for me then anything), 5. Bedtime story, 6. Lay down and go to sleep. I did this specifically as an attempt to allow Logan to see (via the pictures) what is to come next in the process so eventually he'll learn that after story (which is a new thing for us to incorporate) it's time to go to bed and mommy and daddy are -not- staying there in the room with him. Anyways, whether it's because he's learned it from me or whether it's a trait he  was born with, Logan is very routine based and I think this will be a positive.

The glorious thing to both these charts is it can be added to and changed. As he gets older and understands more we can maybe work in a reward system if his sleeping doesn't improve (bribary some may call it, but I call it coping lol.. what i'm referring to is something along the lines of a sticker for every night you slept without getting out of bed, and 5 stickers gets you a new toy - or something like that)

It's a new system as of today and hopefully it'll bring about the positive change i'm seeking - if it doesn't, i'll try something else, but I feel hopeful!

Logan's dietary changes - update

Update on Logan's dietary changes: he is eating super well, he's having great digestion/bowel movements (TMI), he's getting over his cold, he's not asking for junk near as much anymore, he even ate a bite of meat (just one) for probably the first time in 6 months (other than a McDonald's cheeseburger). He will try new things and eat all his food placed before him. Yesterday we started to notice his mood is improving - not as grumpy and not as defiant. He's well mannerd and pleasant most of the day - still trying to give up naps sometimes but not all the time, which is hard to read as a parent.. we try to put him down every day and being he's been ill he's 90% of the time going down the past week and a half. Only thing that has NOT improved and is in fact worsening (over the past month probably, so before we changed his diet) is his sleep. He's up 5-6 times a night for no reason other than for Michael to go up and tuck him back in. It's frusterating and despite our best efforts he still won't sleep through the night. I will be interested to see how long I last with an infant and a toddler who wake up all night. Maybe I'll have to learn to nurse in Logan's room on his wake up times? -_- We'll see..
That was a tangent, back to his dietary plan - the no dairy, no sugar has been wonderful in other aspects as well! The biggest most important is that he's eating in a way that I consider healthy. An average day consists of the following: Breakfast: toast or pancake (with just butter) and fruit (apple and/or banana and/or watermelon and/or cantaloupe). Snack: mixed nuts and if he asks for it, another fruit. Lunch: a sandwich (usually peanut butter and a very little amount of honey or jam) with cucumber, carrots, peppers, etc - finger food veggies. Snack: mixed nuts or the rest of his lunch if he didn't finish it, etc. Supper: whatever we're having - which i LOVE not having to cook a completely seperate meal.. I will modify what we're having so I know he'll enjoy it, but still, it's great. As far as beverages go, he drinks Soy milk at night only, and water. That's all. The OTHER really awesome part is that our grocery bill has dropped significantly! I don't have to any longer buy granola bars, fruit snacks, cookies, certain crackers, milk, cheese, 'junk', random chocolate bars, etc.

The end goal will be to keep this all up - we will add cheese back into our family and probably milk - but it won't be a 4L a week, more like a 2L a week, and it won't be a block of cheese every 1-2 weeks, it'll be a block of cheese every 2-4 weeks. Things like that... and we will not buy any of those junk foods anymore except for special occasions (like camping trips maybe? we'll see..) - i'd like to go with the philosophy that we don't need it in our home because when you're out and about you definetly get it at other places or on 'special occasions' which happen far more often than we think. We've already avoided going to 2-3 evens in the past week and a half just to avoid the food table.. which won't always be the case, but in the beginning it's important to be completely thorough I think.

Okay, that is all or i'll NEVER stop! Okay, that's not all lol.. one last point, it's been AWESOME having the boys on track because i've actually lost a few lbs because I no longer have the nibbling temptation of various junk foods in the house

Now that is all :)

Funny things

1. Logan doesn't eat apples - very rarely, and in the past when he has he'll take the apple and take mini bites and eat most of the skin and then be done with it. Well tonight he ate the ENTIRE apple. Yup, core and all.. all that was left was an actual 'adult sized' bite of apple and the stick. lol, took him about half hour but he wasn't willing to let it go. I didn't noticed when he was eating the core, but I do konw that they're safe to throw in when blending them, so I wasn't worried :)

2. We were sitting eating dinner and Logan was off playing (not an unusual thing). Michael felt prompted to go check on him and he was in the upstairs bathroom... Michael chuckles and says 'Logan!'. So he calls me over and I chuckle too.. I asked Logan what he was doing and he was "cleaning mommy"...and he had pumped out probably 6-8 pumps of the foamy hand soap and was rubbing it all over the bathroom counter top! hehe, I didn't have a camera handy or i'd have taken a photo. Definetly a memory i'd like to remember!

excrutiating pain (but if I remember correctly, not as bad as labour transition lol)

Last night I was having horrible stomach pain during the night.. as in, if I even tried to roll over on any other position other than one spot on either of my sides I thought I might just die! It was definetly baby related but not contractions... it wasn't a tummy ache - i'm just going to say it was baby prepping itself I guess. Lucky me!

Side note: I realized I have not slept a consecutive 8 hours since before Logan was born! (I can count how many times I have on one hand anyways)

Frusteration or Flattery?

Tonight Michael has taken Logan to the bouncy house. This last day or two in particular my body has -really- slowed down (like I physically can't move as quick or as readily as I once did which I did not experience with Logan's pregnancy). Anyways, tonight when he asked what I was going to do, I said I was going to clean. He actually was a little mad about that, so I inquired why that bothered him and he said I should be relaxing, etc. Yes I agree I should be relaxing HOWEVER I have a certain degree of cleanliness/tidyness I keep my house in and because of my recent slowing of the body things are just cluttering up (or whatever the case may be). I love my husband dearly but he is not the type of person who will see something on the floor and think to pick it up or not the kind of person that will notice that the bathroom kinda has a bad smell happening and think to wash the floor or toilet, etc. So that's fine as I probably would be too critical of his clean up job anyways (and I really enjoy cleaning - I just need the spare time occasionally to really get deep into it).

I tried to explain this to him but i'm not sure he really understands. More or less if I sat around and did nothing the house would just be that much more difficult and time consuming to tidy up later. Besides, a clean house makes me VERY happy and keeps my stress levels down - and being that I will be having a home birth I would like to know that each night before I go to bed a certain level of cleanliness has been reached so when I go into labor I will not have that stress of 'I need to clean the house before the midwives get here' on my mind (and sadly that is exactly where my mind would/does go).

So i'm flattered he cares enough about me to want me to have a nice relaxing moment - but i'm frusterated he doesn't get my reasoning. lol thus the title, frusteration or flattered? Can you be both?

Update on Logan and his dietary changes

It is now Tuesday afternoon and we started Logan's new diet (and Michael's of course) on Thursday night.

Logan's mood: Friday and Saturday were pretty awful, Sunday was 50-50 and Monday was better than Sunday but other symptoms were starting to pop up (which i'll talk about later). More or less you just have to think about how someone who is a drug addict is going to react to rehab. As long as at those moments we gave him a healthy snack he would typically be able to cope

Logan's food: He didn't eat much on Friday as he didn't want anything I offered (who would want healthy food when youv'e been living the good sugary life right?). By Saturday morning he was hungry and ate what he was served (ex: breakfast he had a piece of toast with butter and some cut up fruit). My goal for the weekend was to get him through the weekend without any processed sugary treats (no juice, fruit snacks, 'treats', etc) and I wasn't about to push the veggies at that point - I offered them but also had fruit for him available at every meal and either a peanut butter sandwich or a piece of toast or mixed nuts, etc. By Monday  he no longer asked for the treats he had been living off of and was now starting to ask for nuts and fruit, etc. We also got permission to add Almond Milk to his plan as the bedtime routine was a challenge without it - and frankly, who wants to drink water and ONLY water every day all day right? So at bedtime he gets a cup of that, and in the morning 1/2 a cup. (I don't want him to get addicted to it instead of milk so we limit the consumption at this point. Monday afternoon we purchashed from our friend's company Briden Solutions, some freeze dried peas, corn, and broccoli. Logan eats it like candy! No added preservatives, it's just straight freeze dried food storage. Being that it's expensive all at once we're stretching out our purchases, but that will definetly be something that will now be his new 'snack food'. (Anyone wanting info on these products contact me and i'll refer you to them).

Food wise Logan is doing AWESOME. Example: Last night for supper we had mixed veggies (carrots, corn, broccoli), meatballs, and potatoes - and he ate his food! Our end goal is going to be to not have any of that stuff in the house because he has plenty of opportunity to have it offered to him while out of home. Side note: we chose not to go to a birthday party/family get-together bbq thingy with some friends yesterday because we didn't want Logan to be tempted by the likely bags of chips, cake, and other treats that would be there.. he's still only 2 and just getting into his good habits. Once we're past this 2-4 weeks of adjustment then we'll get back into the swing of things and allow the occasional treat :)

Other symptoms: Logan broke out in a under-the-skin marbly rash on his arms and legs, and as of this morning (kind of a little last night too) he has a bad cough and runny nose. I spoke with a doctor and it's nothing to be concerned about (the rash was my biggest concern) and my nutritionist reassured me 'reactions' to elminating dairy is very common as your body is fighting itself in many ways - your respiratory system is in overdrive and of course the addiction to sugar and fighting that off. So we're just laying low today hoping he will recover quickly as we have a really busy week!

Anyways, feeling much better about our decision to do this to Logan - the way he is emotionally and physically reacting really shows to me that there are/were some problems there. I will definetly be able to say he's a healthy boy after we're all done with this! Now we just have to let people know not to give us any 'treats' for awhile. My own body has been grateful to have it all out of the house too! Michael is also doing well - he occasionally wants something he can't have at this time but he's definetly not reacting in such a way that he's ill like Logan. Michael isn't a big communicator so I can't really tell you what his reaction has been thus far.

Side note: I have had to actually go to the grocery store for more fruits and veggies today because between Michael AND Logan I actually ran out between my Friday trips! (Michael will eat Pineapple - ate a whole one to himself practically since Friday)

Midwives home visit appointment

Today one of the midwives came to our home to discuss all the details of a home birth and to see our space, etc. For those who don't know I have chosen to do a home birth for the safety of my baby. Personally I still would rather be in hospital but being that I require to be hooked up to antibiotics combined with the fact that Logan was such a fast birth (and 2nds are usually the same or faster), being home is truly the most logical and safe choice for my child.

It was a regular appointment otherwise. She came over, informed me I could use our room or the tub quite comfortably (meaning there's enough space for them, etc) and discussed the lists of things we need to have on hand (linens and things). I had told her I had a pool available to me - not for a water birth, but for a space we could use to contain the mess and what she told me surprised me. She said that home births are definetly not near as messy as a hospital birth. That confused me because it's not likea baby -knows- he/she is being birthed at home, and she said that being in a hospital situation the room is set up in such a way that they do not have to clean up as they go or keep it neat and tidy, but at home they are continually keeping it nice and clean as the birth progresses. That made me feel alot better.

Baby's heart rate is 130, and she/he is measuring right on track. Everytime I have had an appointment (since the baby's been 'big enough' to physically feel positioning) the baby's back/bum has been on my right side and the head down and limbs towards the left. Well last night I was laying in bed and let out a yelp - which of course startled Michael (pregnant lady yelps, who wouldn't jump right?). Anyways, I looked down at my belly and my left side suddenly was higher. I was like "i'm pretty sure the baby just flipped over to the other side" as that was 1. what it felt like as it happened, and 2. what it physically looked like! I proceded to poke and prod to me it surely seemed that was the case. Anyways, today when the midwife came I asked her where the back was and told her about last night. She said that absolutely I was right - the baby had flipped. She ALSO said that it was her experience that babies positioned on the left are quicker deliveries - she wasn't sure why but that was just her experience.

Otherwise I am going to be doing the 37 week GBS swab next week, and I am going to do one more round of the yeast infection medication, and after the swab if it's still positive they may try and treat me one more time with an IV antibiotic (if the baby isn't born yet). I expressed that I was nausiated and woozy - especially towards the evenings, but not limited to these days (most often the most nautious at midnight weirdly enough) and after taking my blood pressure she said i'm 'low-normal' so that probably is a factor.

Best comment she made to me (even though she of course has no say in the matter lol) was when I said that I was hoping/praying the baby is sooner than later she said that her gut and feelings made her think that it would be. :) So here's hoping the midwife's gut instinct is right!

Best comment from Logan: (scenario: just did the heartbeat and I sat up on the couch, logan beside me) "come out baby - out! Come on" and he poked and patted my tummy in a gentle manner.

It's 1:00am and I can't sleep.. have some emotions I need to blog about

The one thing I did not anticipate struggling with as we delve into this nutritional change in Logan and Michael (and thus my) life is the emotions it's bringing out in -me-. Yes me me me - it's all about me.. but this is my blog!
Day 1 results: no milk for bedtime the night before after seeing the nutritionist. The night was normal and the morning was normal. We ran errands and such and we got home around 10:00am. He out of the blue started to have a tantrum (but really it was his first moment of what I call a 'sugar spike withdrawal' - this is usually when he'd have a sugary snack of some sort). The tantrum didn't bother me, and eventually he calmed down and came in and had a cheese bun (not 100% no dairy as you can see but the amount of cheese in it I wasnt too concerned, and I wasn't about to waste alot of food we currently have). Once he got some food into his system (which contained both small amounts of dairy and sugar mind you) he was fairly okay but still moody. He went down for a nap VERY easily today at 12:00 but I did allow him a 1/2 cup of milk per our usual routine, and I went in to get him up at 2:30 and he was incredibly hard to waken. It was quite interesting to me at the time to corolate the philosophy of drug addiction (in this case sugar/milk addiction) - it took him about 20 minutes to even be able to keep his eyes open. I had preprepared a plate of food for him before he woke up - a sandwich (PB & a little honey, cantaloupe, a carrot and a cucumber) - when he saw it on the table he went straight for it and ate it ALL (minus half his carrot and a piece of the cucumber) and then went to the fridge and ate 2 full yogurts which I hadn't gotten rid of yet. I was amazed! For the next few hours I had my mom around so Logan was happy and content to play with her, then we had friends over and Logan played with their kids and all in all decent mood until the bedtime hour came of course. Before they came at around 5:00/5:30 he ate an entire banana and multiple pieces of watermelon - all of which contain natural sugars, but that's a step in the right direction so I wasn't about to get too picky (and our guests were coming for 6:00 supper, so I didn't have everything quite ready yet). Supper he nibbled at, but kids around are distracting so I wasn't holding my breath there. Bedtime came and he was not impressed at the lack of milk and juice in the house. I purged it all as this no milk/dairy is only meant to be a 2-4 week process to help get his sugars under control -but I had him go look in the fridge to see that it was gone, and thus he had no choice but to settle on water. I even gave him some lemon juice in his water and I need to perfect the portions but he seemed semi okay with that. Michael put him to bed and he was definetly not a happy camper but went down eventually. So for Day 1 - he's had both dairy and sugar (in fruit that is) but probably 90% less than his avg...

Now, what emotions was I talking about? Well I don't like it (and never have liked it) when my baby cries. I want to do what I can to help comfort and console, and I know what he wants (and in a small sense blame myself for that) but can't/shouldn't give it to him. I keep having to remind myself of the big picture that this will help him but in the mean time i'm a "sensative soul". Also tonight when he woke up around midnight (not unusual), he was crying for his mommy in such a way that just truly broke my heart and it took EVERYTHING for me not to go to him.. Michael tends to him at nighttime now for many reasons and I need to be careful not to jump in as it's harder to break the habit down the road. Also, time wise i'm extra hormonal and thus my emotions are more so sensative now then an avg time, and I second guess myself that i've 'bitten off more than I can chew' with these food changes...but is there EVER a good time to do something like this with your child? I feel like i'm being cruel almost and that really makes me upset...but i've seen the charts and I've seen what it has done to him now that we're trying to make the changes - I just hope the next 2-3 weeks go by quickly or the baby comes so that Michael can be here with me while we battle the food battle... Logan's my baby and despite my intentions of wanting the best for him, I hate seeing the suffering.

Other things that add to my distress: -backpain is increasing. -I can't seem to sleep at night as it's just incredibly uncomfortable in every way shape or form. -Guilt for hating this pregnancy so much. -Sensativity in our relationship (I need more than ever certain levels of communication but do not have a husband who can give me that). -My own 'sugar withdrawl' to a certain degree - I used to taste or nibble on or finish what Logan would eat. -Hating 'complaining' about what seems like EVERYthing these days.

Anyways, that's not why I can't sleep - I am always up at this time, but tonight in particular I couldn't turn off my thoughts on top of the regular tossing and turning, so I figured i'd just get up for a bit.

Tomorrow: Maternity Photoshoot! i'm hoping this will boost my spirits as last time my sister in law made me feel so beautiful with her talents :) Also a friends son's bday party and even a few hours to myself while Michael takes Logan to Calaway. Should be a good day - i'm curious about the bday party as far as snacks go - im not sure that I can say no to him or not, i mean, he IS only 2 and if everyone else is eating, how do you stop one kid right? I don't know what he'll do yet but we may just leave when it's cake time to avoid the temptation alltogether.

Wish us luck! We need it..

Nutritionist results

I have discovered something about myself and parenting. When my child (and likely all my children) has some sort of problem or issue that may or may not be viewed as a concern to a doctor or anyone else for that matter, I am unable to just let it go and see how things 'work out' - I am the proactive type that goes until it's fixed or at least I have closure on it.

What am I talking about you may ask? Well, with Logan (per other blogs), he has had ups and downs with his eating habits, his sleeping habits, etc. In particular recently his eating habits have been less than acceptable, and as I noticed the eating go downhill I noticed his sleep patterns go downhill, and then I noticed his eyes getting those dark circles under them again (which is what triggered me to take him to my blood reader last time). Anyways, I decided to tackle the food aspect this time around and got busy and found a natural nutritional therapist to take him to (and Michael but i'll talk about Michael's results later lol).

Before going to see her I had to track his food intake and I had to do this online survey. The food tracking was a huge eye opener as Logan is truly worse than I even thought. His daily avg diet included a huge amount of milk (like i'm talking Logan goes through a 4L a week), fruit snacks or things similar, maybe a banana, a slice or two (or more if he was particular hungry) of watermelon, a juice box, a freezie and cracker-y type foods. Then of course he always seemed to snag some sort of candy from somewhere - whether it was a 'treat' at the grocery store or from a playgroup or a driving bribe (lol yes I do that). Logan does not want anything to do with meats, or vegetables, or most fruits, or even sandwiches anymore, or muffins or cookies, or anything of the sort.. he's particular about his junk food and even worse about his healthy food.

Okay, so I took these things (embarassed of course) to the lady (Colleen is her name). First of all she asked me what I eat, and I told her my typical eating habits and she asked me why Logan just doesn't eat what I eat. Of course I have asked myself that question over and over, and for me personally I was always concerned about Logan -not- eating that probably around 18 months and on he just started getting more and more junk-ish foods offered to him just to be sure he was eating -something- and then it's snowballed and I haven't known -how- to get him off of it. She just looked at me and honestly stated that he will not starve. If he's hungry he should eat.

So anyways, this is why I went to see a nutrionist! It's kind of like the sleep therapist, I need someone to be accountable to. Being Logan's age, she has some research she needs to do on certain areas and will get back to me with more information, but in the meantime she actually wants me to have Logan checked out for Type 1 Diabetes just to rule that out (the reason being that Logan is a drink-aholic and of course thus pees often, which is one sign, and also per the survey he is charted as having sugar highs and lows which can also be a sign). Apparently it runs in Michael's side of the family so she said it's easier just to have him tested and know one way or another. The other recommendation she has made is that we cut out 100% sugar and products, and cut out all Dairy. (great, lol everything he eats right?). She 'prescribed' him a couple natural products to aid with digestion (another issue she figures he's having which is not a surprise to me) and something to help with the sugar cravings that he likely will have.

Now i'm not one to waste things and i happen to have a jug of milk just barely open in the fridge and a almost finished juice in the fridge, etc so I will likely ween Logan down to just a cup of milk a day and water down the juice significantly just so as not to waste it. Otherwise if Logan has a nap today I will go through the pantry and top shelf (out of sight out of mind) all the 'snack foods' that he eats as his daily meals. She warned us that he will likely get worse before he gets better.

Okay, as for Michael. I wanted Michael to go because he constantly suffers from digestive type problems (Colleen determined it's all intestinal based - which if your intestines aren't working many other organs aren't functioning either). Logan was not happy yesterday so I was keeping him entertained so I didn't get the 'whole story' for Michael, but she did make food suggestions for him and has a few supplements for him also. His big thing is that he has to give up Dairy 100% for the next two weeks (looks like most of the milk is mine? too bad I don't drink it either! sigh lol) Of course he's also supposed to cut all sugars too. And he is supposed to significantly increase his vegetable intake (go figure, i've been saying that for years). it's a 40-30-30 ratio that he's supposed to eat. 40% carbs, 30% fats, 30% protein. Her BIGGEST recommendation to both of them (and everyone realy) is just to eat good, whole foods.

Colleen showed me the charts and such and showed me noticible similarities between Logan and Michael and that Logan was following Michael's path so-to-speak. My biggest fears lay around Logan's journey to eating better. I dont' mind purging our house of sugar and such, but it's going to be very difficult to have him see other kids having snacks and treats at the park, or going to people's houses and them offering him things before i've had a chance to warn them that he can't eat that stuff, etc - especially over the course of the next month or two. That's how long i'd like to enforce the eating rules so it's instilled.. i'm not against him having a treat here and there, but that's where it all started and it's partially (trying not to blame myself completely as that's not fair to me either) my fault that he got started down this path, so of course i'll do whatever I can do 'fix' it.

Anyways, that was our journey last night! I will definetly let you know how it all turns out over the coming while - Logan is going to be very upset i'm pretty certain, especially during those times when he would typicaly get a sugar high and lows and all he'll be offered is vegetables, protein, whole grains, or water.

Wish us luck! And PS. Don't send any junk food our way :) lol

Camping this weekend

This past weekend we went camping to Lower Lake in Kananaskis (about an hour/hour and a half from home for us) with my inlaws. It was a total blast! We almost didn't get a campsite (despite sending my inlaws out ahead of us to snag one mid Friday afternoon) but Michael and I chose to drive down to the campground to 'see for ourselves' how full it was and when we got there we just happened to come across a site that was empty (for less than 10 minutes mind you!)...it was just crazy how everything worked out in the end, it was definetly meant to be!

Friday evening it was on and off sprinkling/raining so by the time we set up camp and had dinner it was almost 8:00pm. We made a fire and just hung around the campfire - put Logan to bed by like 9:30 and that was that!

Saturday was jam-packed full of fun, and we had FABULOUS weather! We started the morning with an hour-ish bike ride, played at the park, went for an hour-ish long hike, had a picnic lunch, then got Michael's boat stuff and went out boating on the lake for probably also an hour lol..we took turns as Logan was a major grump as he didn't have a good night's sleep (for some reason our heater in the trailer wasn't working and it was a COLD night!)...anyways, after boating it was like 4:00 so we went to the campsite to just hang out that area...eventually we made supper and then a fire and by 8:30 we had Logan in bed for the night - after he was down s'mores were enjoyed and we just talked around the fire until I think around 10:30/11 before calling it a night!

Sunday was clean up of course. Good times all around. The only 'downside' for me was the freezing cold night and the fact that my airmattress had an un-findable hole (that didn't deflate ALL the air, just half of the air in the mattress). You see, in the trailer for sleeping arrangments Michael and Logan slept together on the queen size wing and I slept on the double size wing. We did that because I can't sleep with Logan because i'm constantly having to (painfully) shift my body in the night time, and he sleeps best with someone while camping. The reason I put an airmattress on my wing is that the foam is too hard that's already there and I need somewhere for my hips to sink into (this pregnancy is a load of sucky in every possible aspect)...anyways, I had a cold and painful night the first night, then a slightly too hot and painful night the second! lol..otherwise I was surprised I didn't hurt more to be honest!

On another note:
-34 weeks this week. I am a month to my due date (per my personal countdown)
-I am taking on a babysitting job once a week for a few weeks (until I hit 37 weeks likely) for my friend Courtney.
-If ANYONE says how 'good I look' again I may just snap. I don't want to be told that because I feel less than good in fact and I just want to wallow in my self pity and I want my husband to tell me how good I look only and I want him to let me be pityful and be extra sympathetic... that's it, that's all and none of the above are happening!
-Saw pictures of myself and am feeling especially large - my arms and butt have taken on some definte weight and it's just all around depressing.

Otherwise Life is Grand and I look forward to next weekend!

Group B Strep

So at my appointment this morning I learned that my lab results show that I have -urinary- group B strep which means I am being put on antibiotics to hopefully clear it up for good before labor. In the mean time I have caused myself slight stress (not extreme so please no comments stating 'don't stress', that just causes me irritation on top of it all LOL).

Things I've researched:

Group B streptococcus, or group B strep, is a bacterium that causes life- threatening infections in newborns. Group B strep can also cause disease in pregnant women, the elderly, and adults with other illnesses.

Many people carry group B strep bacteria in their bodies without developing infection or illness. However, the bacteria can become deadly to people with weakened immune systems.

Pregnant women can transmit group B strep to their newborns at birth. Group B strep is the most common cause of blood infections and meningitis in newborns.

Most cases of group B strep disease in newborns can be prevented by giving certain pregnant women antibiotics during labor

• Pregnant women who are infected with GBS are at increased risk of preterm delivery, infection of the amniotic fluid (bag of water), and infection of the uterus after delivery.
• Newborns who are infected with GBS can develop pneumonia (lung infection), septicemia (blood infection), or meningitis (infection of the lining of the brain and spinal cord).

The stress for me comes is that there's a chance that the GBS will in fact be cleared up but it doesn't mean it won't return, so at 37 weeks they will recheck to see where it's at. However, because i've now had -urinary- group b, they will treat me with antibiotics regardless EXCEPT if the baby comes as fast or faster than Logan, then I won't be able to have the antibiotics as it takes 4 hours for it to kick in and be affective to the baby.

Wish us luck! I'm not overly worried at this point but my stress levels went up a point from like a 1 to a 2 on a scale of 1-10 for this pregnancy LOL so it's not a huge rise.

Midwives Vs Doctors

Crystal requested that I do a comparison between my experience with the midwives vs doctors during this pregnancy. I will be honest, there are not -alot- of differences in my opinion (at this point) yet, but definetly a few that stand out to me.

Midwifery Care:
-By far the most important difference to me is that being with the midwives has definetly been a more personal experience. What I mean by that is I am a name, not a number so to speak. I have made calls to them (I say them - we have 5 in our 'clinic') and they will call me back within 24 hours to see how I am doing, etc.
-Cochrane Midwife clinic is in the 'head miwife's home'
-30 min + appointments every time
-Information (but no pressure) regarding home birth options
-Have authority to do ultrasound, blood test and other 'tests' requisition forms
-Are specific to pregnancy care (meaning that most doctors, unless it's a maternity clinic are seeing whomeever happens to walk through the door while a midwife thinks, eats and breaths pregnancy! lol
-more willing to follow 'natural' health (when battling my yeast infection and whatever else was/is wrong they recommended trying all the more natural stuff first before getting into the drugs that may or may not affect a fetus, etc, etc). Of course I am definetly more into that side of the spectrum and I really appreciated it.
-When things were -not- working for me they referred me back to a doctor who was able to prescribe things they couldn't necessarily. (they only have authority to prescribe to a certain degree)

Doctor Care:
I can only relate to the doctor care I had when I had Logan, which wasn't awful by any means. I had alot of issues in the beginning which my doctor never really 'diagnosed' but took all the safe precautions (ex: bedrest) to help me save Logan's pregnancy. That particular doctor took me through my first trimester then referred me to a maternity clinic near by. I was cared for by 5 or 6 different doctors (who never actually delivered my baby due to a shift change error the hour Logan was bornlol). My care was definetly nothing to complain about, just was lacking that 'personal' feel.
-This pregnancy as soon as I knew I was pregnant I followed the advice of my surgeoun from my ectopic and went to the doctor to get an ultrasound req to confirm it wasn't another ectopic. My new family doctor in Cochrane did everything he was supposed to - and he is a very nice man, and he even asked me if I wanted to go with the midwives or stay with his clinic. I chose the midwives specifically because of the fact that Logan was so fast and if the rule applies to me (2nd being faster) then I may not have time to get to the nearest hospital (40-45 min drive away) and there is nowhere else to deliver in Cochrane.
-Was able to help me in the end with relief for the itching I have been experiencing (it's not fixed as they still can't tell me what exactly is wrong but I have symptomatic relief of the itching if I keep up with the creams! hooray!)

So frankly, until I actually deliver I can't tell you if I have a preference per say, BUT I am leaning towards the home-ier more personal care and more natural care of a midwife. :)