Information I found on Ovarian Cysts

So I came across a site that had the following information which made sense to me and 'fit' me. Per the description i'm certain I have functional cysts. I have 7-8 of the symptoms from the list and tho I didn't get an u/s this last time, I was just in the urgent care with abdominal pain a month ago and they wanted an u/s then - which didn't work out either (Cochrane REALLY needs an u/s tech! lol). Anyways, They have been found on my ovaries in past years. Enjoy educating yourself!

 

 

What are ovarian cysts?

A cyst is a fluid-filled sac. They can form anywhere in the body. Ovarian cysts (sists) form in or on the ovaries. The most common type of ovarian cyst is a functional cyst.
Functional cysts often form during the menstrual cycle. The two types are:

• Follicle cysts. These cysts form when the sac doesn't break open to release the egg. Then the sac keeps growing. This type of cyst most often goes away in 1 to 3 months.
• Corpus luteum cysts. These cysts form if the sac doesn't dissolve. Instead, the sac seals off after the egg is released. Then fluid builds up inside. Most of these cysts go away after a few weeks. They can grow to almost 4 inches. They may bleed or twist the ovary and cause pain. They are rarely cancerous. Some drugs used to cause ovulation, such as Clomid® or Serophene®, can raise the risk of getting these cysts.

Other types of ovarian cysts are:

• Endometriomas (EN-doh-MEE-tree-OH-muhs). These cysts form in women who have endometriosis (EN-doh-MEE-tree-OH-suhss). This problem occurs when tissue that looks and acts like the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus. The tissue may attach to the ovary and form a growth. These cysts can be painful during sex and during your period.
• Cystadenomas (siss-tahd-uh-NOH-muhs). These cysts form from cells on the outer surface of the ovary. They are often filled with a watery fluid or thick, sticky gel. They can become large and cause pain.
• Dermoid (DUR-moid) cysts. These cysts contain many types of cells. They may be filled with hair, teeth, and other tissues that become part of the cyst. They can become large and cause pain.
• Polycystic (pol-ee-SISS-tik) ovaries. These cysts are caused when eggs mature within the sacs but are not released. The cycle then repeats. The sacs continue to grow and many cysts form. For more information about polycystic ovaries, see our polycystic ovary syndrome fact sheet.

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What are the symptoms of ovarian cysts?

Many ovarian cysts don't cause symptoms. Others can cause:

• Pressure, swelling, or pain in the abdomen
• Pelvic pain
• Dull ache in the lower back and thighs
• Problems passing urine completely
• Pain during sex
• Weight gain
• Pain during your period
• Abnormal bleeding
• Nausea or vomiting
• Breast tenderness

If you have these symptoms, get help right away:

• Pain with fever and vomiting
• Sudden, severe abdominal pain
• Faintness, dizziness, or weakness
• Rapid breathing

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How are ovarian cysts found?

Doctors most often find ovarian cysts during routine pelvic exams. The doctor may feel the swelling of a cyst on the ovary. Once a cyst is found, tests are done to help plan treatment. Tests include:

• An ultrasound. This test uses sound waves to create images of the body. With an ultrasound, the doctor can see the cyst's:
  • Shape
  • Size
  • Location
  • Mass — if it is fluid-filled, solid, or mixed
• A pregnancy test. This test may be given to rule out pregnancy.
• Hormone level tests. Hormone levels may be checked to see if there are hormone-related problems.
• A blood test. This test is done to find out if the cyst may be cancerous. The test measures a substance in the blood called cancer-antigen 125 (CA-125). The amount of CA-125 is higher with ovarian cancer. But some ovarian cancers don't make enough CA-125 to be detected by the test. Some noncancerous diseases also raise CA-125 levels. Those diseases include uterine fibroids (YOO-tur-ihn FEYE-broidz) and endometriosis. Noncancerous causes of higher CA-125 are more common in women younger than 35. Ovarian cancer is very rare in this age group. The CA-125 test is most often given to women who:
  • Are older than 35
  • Are at high risk for ovarian cancer
  • Have a cyst that is partly solid

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How are cysts treated?

Watchful waiting. If you have a cyst, you may be told to wait and have a second exam in 1 to 3 months. Your doctor will check to see if the cyst has changed in size. This is a common treatment option for women who:

• Are in their childbearing years
• Have no symptoms
• Have a fluid-filled cyst

It may be an option for postmenopausal women.
Surgery. Your doctor may want to remove the cyst if you are postmenopausal, or if it:

• Doesn't go away after several menstrual cycles
• Gets larger
• Looks odd on the ultrasound
• Causes pain

The two main surgeries are:

• Laparoscopy (lap-uh-ROSS-kuh-pee) – Done if the cyst is small and looks benign (noncancerous) on the ultrasound. While you are under general anesthesia, a very small cut is made above or below your navel. A small instrument that acts like a telescope is put into your abdomen. Then your doctor can remove the cyst.
• Laparotomy (lap-uh-ROT-uh-mee) – Done if the cyst is large and may be cancerous. While you are under general anesthesia, larger incisions are made in the stomach to remove the cyst. The cyst is then tested for cancer. If it is cancerous, the doctor may need to take out the ovary and other tissues, like the uterus. If only one ovary is taken out, your body is still fertile and can still produce estrogen.

Birth control pills. If you keep forming functional cysts, your doctor may prescribe birth control pills to stop you from ovulating. If you don’t ovulate, you are less likely to form new cysts. You can also use Depo-Provera®. It is a hormone that is injected into muscle. It prevents ovulation for 3 months at a time.

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Can ovarian cysts be prevented?

No, ovarian cysts cannot be prevented. The good news is that most cysts:

• Don't cause symptoms
• Are not cancerous
• Go away on their own

Talk to your doctor or nurse if you notice:

• Changes in your period
• Pain in the pelvic area
• Any of the major symptoms of cysts

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When are women most likely to have ovarian cysts?

Most functional ovarian cysts occur during childbearing years. And most of those cysts are not cancerous. Women who are past menopause (ages 50­–70) with ovarian cysts have a higher risk of ovarian cancer. At any age, if you think you have a cyst, see your doctor for a pelvic exam.

Ovarian Cyst

Well this weekend I had an ovarian cyst rupture (it must have been in a big one because it caused me to rush myself to Urgent Care). I have a history of getting these. Ex: When I had my ectopic pregnancy surgery they recorded on my form that while they were in there they ruptured a 6cm cyst on the opposite ovary. But I have always had painful periods as a child, and often will have abdominal pain, usually more managable. Doctors have told me they are extremely common, and nothing to be concerned about.

Anyways, I had flu-ish symptoms over night Friday night which I thought was linked to eating some foods that are on my 'possible intolerance' list which could still be the case, but I still also had a mild flu (upset tummy, cold chills, aches). Anyways, about noon Saturday I started to get a pain my side. It was manageable so I didn't concern myself. About 5pm I called health link to ask about it and they had me poke around the area to see if there was a specific spot (likely checking to see if it was appendicitis)...that poking and prodding aggitated it very quickly and within 20 mins I was almost buckling over on the floor.

Whenever I have abdominal pain I always get a little overly-anxious because that is how it all started with my ectopic, and being this was right sided pain, that is the side I still have a fallopian tube left on...and I have been having waves of nausia randomly over the past week - hadn't taken a test but it's -always- a possibility because we dont' use any form of protection other than tracking dates.

I called my neighbor for a ride to urgent care and when I got to the check in desk they went to take my blood pressure and I fainted into her lap! I HATE that dizzy feeling...I was most concerned though that I was going to puke in front of a room partially full of people (particularily my neighbor lol) as my nausia escalated with the dizzyness. Well, if you want to get taken back to a room quickly, pass out at the check in desk hehe.

With that they did a preg-test and blood tests, and hooked me up to an IV (I was partially dehydrated due to diarrhea and lack of eating all day)...when they confirmed it was NOT appendicitis or pregnancy then they were able to give me a pain killer and shortly after send me home. :) What a relief!

Signed,
I feel like I live at urgent care

PS. I just feel like a tenderized piece of meat today :) So definetly feeling much improved! It was a doozy of a cyst, and I would like to find out if there's anything I can do to keep them from coming on so strong or if there's any concern to the size of them I seem to be getting.

I am disgusted

Recently in our world there was some terrible, terrible news - some young children (grades K-4) and teachers were shot and killed, as i'm sure we've ALL heard. When I read the story I was apauled, but mostly saddened. I sat reading the article, crying because all I could think about were things that -could- happen now a days in this world, and the "why"'s.

I would be absolutely devastated if my child was killed in such a tragic way - whether by school shooting, or a drunk driver, etc. I am grateful for my Faith however, because I believe all of those children will be admist our Heavenly Father right now, and as cliche as it sounds "in a better place". I have been reading and reflecting the past month while reading the Ensign magazine, featuring the October conference talks. Many talks talk about death of loved ones and how to 'deal' with it, and many talks discuss repentance and forgiveness. Now, you would probably argue it's "easy" for me to forgive a man for killing people I don't know on a personal level...however, I have really had to sit and pray and ponder over it first. I am not happy or supportive of what he did, but I know deep down that he will be judged according to his actions by our HEavenly Father.

What i'm trying to take from this into my own life is:
1. He is our judge, and I need to remember that when I am judging others. (I could expand, but i'll just leave it at that)
2. I want to remember this instance, tho extreme, when someone(s) hurt either physically or emotionally my own boys and future offspring. I need to forgive and move forward - hopefully taking the trail as a learning opportunity. I also want my kids to grow up not seeking revenge, or holding hard feelings/grudges towards someone, etc.

Anyways, on a semi-related but different topic, this occurance has reinforced a few things for me too.
1. Tho still scared silly to venture down this road, this is just another tip over the fence for me towards homeschooling.
2. I am VERY picky about what I let my kids watch on TV/movies and this just makes me want to do so even more.

I'll explain my #2. I have been wondering how -much- of our "bad news" in the world isn't provoked by our own media and entertainment. Think about it. We watch movies where killing people is OK and sometimes FUNNY and generally accepted "for the sake of entertainment". I will even go as far to say this is another reason why I started watching the Hunger Games and turned it off! That movie took a media step into making it OK to murder children "so long as we learn something from it". It's sick and twisted and there is SO Much sick and twisted in our social media that I can't even begin to explain. Let me just stress however, I am far from perfect and I do "enjoy" alot of said entertainment - even in Harry Potter children die, and I love the HP movies, so as I said, I'm far from perfect. I just am trying to weed out the terrible, and will continue to do so as long as I can - especially for my children's sake.

Anyways, it's more a Food for Thought about how much we create amongst our own horror.. media is much more apparent in our lives and this generation, and I find the 'terrible news' seems more and more terrible than ever before also.

And i'll call it a day for today - I hear my baby waking up :) Have a wonderful day!

Pre-excitment

I hate to post in the present about something happening tomorrow, but i'm really excited about tomorrow! First of all, Michael is 'going out wth the guys' to a mma (I think that's what it's called) fight - there's about 6 of them going I do believe and I like to see him with friends :)

SEcond of all, tomorrow is Logan's first recital! He's been taking Music for Young Children and the teacher is doing a little recital with her classes - his class is singing (and ringing) Jingle Bells :) Logan is the ONLY person who actually sings aloud in his class (almost all of the time haha), so i'm very cruious to see if he'll sing in front of an audience!

That's all :) Hopefully I can take a photo!

OH! And I'm enrolling Logan in Kick-Jitsu (lol kickboxing/ju jitsu) in Januray! I'm pretty excited about it

Blown out of context

yes I realize the error in my title :) but that's okay! I was a victim of that this week. I very innocently gave an opinion on a fb post and someone read it as rude and despite the fact the person doesn't konw me in the slightest very meanly attacked me by telling me how rude I was being! I was blown away. I quickly apologized to said friend I left the comment too in case she interpretted it wrongly. I do take things personally and that is a trial I deal with - when someone attacks me PERSONALLY I am hurt.. and then as the day is going on there are just little things that are rubbing salt into the open wound. I feel like I should be apologized to but I won't recieve one because it was a stranger who did the offense. I keep having to remind myself of the talk given on Sunday about how forgiveness and repentance are often one sided and its my job to forgive and repent and if the other party doesn't then that's on their shoulders, not mine.

I just wish I could let things go quicker. I actually feel like crying - I don't like it when people think poorly on me, especially when it's very undeserving. Sure, if I had the intention of being "rude" then I would deserve it, but frankly that's not the case. -sigh- Just trying to vent and feel better...my heart just hurts -_-

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Life is full of decisions. Some in our control, others not. I have been taught that we pray and ask Heavenly Father to help us know what to do and make good decisions, etc, but I've also been taught that Heavenly Father doesn't -make- the decisions for us, even when we want Him to! He will lead and guide us, and send us answers as we need them, but really - "what color socks shoudl I wear today?" is not a decision he is going to make for us (unless it's going to influence something/someone during the day that will mean something to us or someone). Anyways, what i'm trying to say is that sometimes we have to make our own decisions - big or petty "on our own" because we are individuals. The Lord will then -guide- us if we need help!

Decisions i'm trying to make:

1. What activities should Logan be enrolled in? Skating? Boxing/Karate? Swimming? Music? Preschool? Soccer? -_- I can't decide!
2. We've decided to attempt waiting for making baby #3 until May/June - should I just keep tracking my cycle as our form of birth control or go on the pill, etc? I can't decide!
3. Should we stay in Magrath for 2 or 3 or 4 nights after Christmas? Do I even bother packing the extra clothes for a longer trip? I can't decide!
4. Does Carter's sudden night time wake ups need more attention as to -why- he's waking so many times or is it just a 'phase'? I can't decide!
5. What should I make for dinner tonight? I can't decide!

Anyways, as i've been typing my list, and as I re-read what I typed above, I think I just need to pray that there's nothing will go wrong within each decision made, and that whatever happens is going to be just fine! Frankly, none of it is life threatening, it's just making a choice! Wish me luck :)

Boys should sit

Logan has been potty trained since Carter was born, not without many random accidents might I add! (he even has been night time trained with very very minimal accidents). He forgets he has to pee when playing at friends' houses, or he just forgets a little too late and dribbles beyond just a dribble. (he'll appreciate I blogged this one day)

Anyways, the 'next step' is that he is starting to pee as he words it "like a big boy" despite my best efforts to change. I taught him to sit and pee and he has now seen other friends (and dad) pee standing up so he has entered that world also - and if i'm near by or watching he will sit, but since i'm not always there he will stand....thus he dribbles and sprays all over the seat/toilet on more occasions than i'm happy with. This then leads to me hauling him to the toilet and pointing it out and stating 'you need to sit!'

I'm a firm believer boys can sit and pee- at least until they're old enough to have full control over where they aim! (and some will say even adults can't aim - well they should have been taught to sit then!)

:) that's my two cents of the day!

Next step...Carter. -_-

Michael's Fall and my 'attack'

Michael and I decided to hang Christmas lights on our new house (exciting right?) - well, we borrowed a neighbors ladder and Michael went up and put on the hooks. He came into the house and said 'so I don't trust this ladder' and I said okay, that's fine...and we together decided he'd go get the supplies that he left on the roof and we'd get a different ladder to finish the light hanging adventure.

That is when it  happened. He was on his way down (I was stabalizing), and the extension hooks gave way. Michael 'rode' the ladder about 3 steps worth and then he remembered I was at the bottom and decided to jump away as to not crush his dear wife (he is a wonderful husband). I am standing at the bottom and my mind is going a mile a MILI-second. I am all within this blink of an eye second thinking "oh no, should I catch him?" and to my left is Carter about 4 ft away so I am thinking "where's my baby?" and to my right and behind is Logan about 4-5ft away and i'm thinking "what about my other baby?"....and then as the ladder is coming down I am thinking "it's going to bash into our neighbors car!" ....and in the end I jumped back just praying that everyone was out of harms way (aside from of course my falling husband) and just waited.

Michael hit the ground in a slight crouch position and dropped and rolled. At that very moment a lady from Michael's work who lives on our street was driving by and saw the whole thing (as did another truck who stopped to be sure everything was okay)...she jumps out to be sure he wasn't crushed then she said 'holy smokes Michael - I wish I had that on video - you looked like a profession superhero-stuntdevil type person - that was phenominal!" lol...Michael chuckled but was still pretty banged up.

Needless to say we dropped Logan off at a friends and I took Michael to Urgent Care (nothing was broken on an outword appearance - bones jutting out, etc). Me, Michael and Carter checked him in and then after an hour I took Carter home.

This is when MY story begins. So I woke up with minor but definite chest pain right in and around my sternum. I thought 'gee that's odd' and chocked it under the fact I had started two medications just the night before with the intention of seeing what came of it.

(**Side note: I had been in Urgent Care two nights prior with a diagnosis of Kidney infection - possible stones but couldn't be confirmed. Symptoms were major kidney region pain and occasional abdominal pain)

 Anyways, it was definetly tender (felt more muscular than anything) all day and more and more so as the day went on. When Michael had his fall I went into adrenal mode and we got through everything we needed to. We had been there an hour and I asked the nurse if it would be alright time wise if I took Carter home. They said they'd call me when he was ready (at least an hour from that point minimum they'd figure...in nurse talk that means two hours right? lol). So on the way home everything came crashing down on me and I started to bawl. I called my friend Courtney to be sure keeping Logan longer would be okay and she could hear I was upset but I said I just wanted to go home and lay down for a bit and just take a breather. I kept Carter cuz he has been having a hard time leaving me as of recent and with all the stress of the day that was one less stress I could control. About half hour home I just LOST it. I felt like I was hyperventalating almost and my chest pain just escalated! I was really scared by that so I called Courtney and she rushed to my house (she's a great friend) and talked me through it. I decided that after I was settled that I didn't want to go to urgent care because I feel that the stress of the day was just causing me alot of physical stress and the pain was truly -muscular- vs heart problems. Tylenol actually took the pain almost completely away. Anyways, we went to courntey's house (where Logan was anyways) and just enjoyed her company. Basically I chock the whole experience as my first anxiety attack. It was just too much all at once and the adrenalin and stress of the few days really just got to me.

I picked up Michael and he isn't broken, just really sore. My neighbors (bless his heart) went up on the roof and got all the stuff that had been left there, down, and he strung up the lights! Also we had lots of friends and family offering their services to take care of us. We are truly lucky and blessed.

And that is the story! Phew. We're good for a while now :)

Kicking and Breathing,
Kyla & Family

My House Wishlist

Things I want to do in my house (not in order as I haven't decided what will come first):

1. paint Logan's room
2. paint Master bedroom
3. paint bathrooms - kids will be ocean themed, mainfloor will be 'black and white' and basement will be reds.
4. Backyard - whole other blog needed to describe 'the dream' - half of the dream will take place this next spring/summer, the rest will have to wait another year likely
5. Kitchen - extend cabinets down the wall. I'm on the lookout for as close to matching cabinets to the ones I have, then I will restain all the doors to be the same color. Might hafta replace the counters to match them. We'll see :) Id actually really don't love my island/sink set up, so maybe that could be replaced too.
6. Not a change to the house, but I'd like to invest in some over-sized art to hang in the stairway area, and i'd like to invest in some large mirrors to hang in various places around the house.
7. I'd like to reno my bathroom. My neighbors master bath is awesome and that's what gave me the idea. Frankly there's not much counter space in any of the bathrooms, but that's okay - I just want space in MY bathroom lol
8. Tub-surround in the kids bathroom - there's a leak in the tile, and so I figured we'd just put up tubsurround.

That's enough right? :D

back/body pain and Christmas

My back has just been terribly sore the past few days. From a Bowen perspective all the pain is in the location of the Kidney move. It is making sleeping at night incredibly difficult. I would love to get some Bowen done on it but sad that's not really an option. However, I think I might book for a massage because I need to do something!

It is reminding me of my pregnancy with Carter. I had alot of pain and this was similar. Which leads me into another thought. I -think- I may have had a miscarriage this past week. It would have been at like 3-4 weeks if I'm right so really, not far along but my suspcions are: 1. I've been on a 5+ week cycle the past 4-5 months fairly consistently and I got this past one at 3 weeks, 2. My periods last generally 6 days and this one lingered on for almost 10 days, 3. Generally I have a very heavy few days at the beginning and then it lingers out but this time I didn't have the heavy days and it just was consistently less than heavy almost the whole time and even now almost 2 weeks later I occasionally am getting random bleeding. Anyways, I did take a preg test but it was negative (both) but if I was barely along it might not be enough hormones to detect anyways.

Really I have no idea and will never -officially- know unless theres problems next month that lead to a doc visit, but really, I've had so many miscarriages that it wouldn't surprise me!

Another note: I went boxing on Tuesday. First timein TWO weeks! I missed it terribly and was so happy to be back on the bag...I pushed myself VERY hard and I am sore ALL over lol. Every muscle hurts. It's a good hurt, but wowee, its there all right!

What else...boys are having rough nights...meaning they are both up at least twice a night. Carter is either growing and/or teething and it's just causing him alot of whiny/teary grief. Logan has slept with us 3 of the 4 nights this week from midnight-ish onward. AND theyre both getting up around 6-6:30. Boo. Wake up all night sure - but sleep in! oh well, "this too shall pass".

Christmas is just around the corner! I stick to my guns about waiting until December 1st to put up Christmas in our house (specifically the tree)...however I slightly cheated and the boys and I put up our wall stickers at the front entry way of th ehouse yesterday. I found them at the dollarstore and they're fantastic! Pictures to come for sure! ...I've spoken to our neighbor, and we've decided to put up the same style of lights (white icicles since that is what they already had) so our 'duplex' will be strung with all the same lights which I think will look really awesome! This year the top peaks of the house on the 2nd level might not be done because the snow came early and Michael needs to get up on the roof and add all the clips - next spring/summer he will do that so next christmas the lights can just be hung. I don't need im slipping on the roof and coming down!

First day of work

So yesterday was my first official day in clinic! I offered free sessions all day  and I was definetly booked all day. My clinic hours are Wednesdays 9-11, 4:30-8 and Saturdays 9-2. I had a few people who 'upgraded' their free session for a small fee to have a treatment beyond the standard BRMs that I was offering so I made a few bucks in the process.

I love love LOVED being in clinic! Holy smokes, it was just so fantastic doing Bowen there. The feel of the place is awesome, it's a great centre and the people are great too. It will take me a few weeks to really get the feel of the place of course but I just a wonderful first day.

Carter however didn't particularly care for my first day of work lol. I left him with my friend Courtney in the morning, and then du eto an unexpected late shift for Michael I had to drop them off at my neighbors in the evening (thankfully only an hour and Carter loves being there)...but when Michael picked him up he just started to cry cuz I think he realized hed been left again! lol. Thankfully it's not a regular thing for me to have to leave him. There is a child care facility right next door to the Centre and i'm going to go check out the prices because on Wednesday mornings when i'm regularly booked (hopefully that doesn't take too long) it would be very convenient to drop them off there.

Things I learned: I need a belt loop stopwatch for the 2 min pauses (I had to carry my phone around all day because it was the only stopwatch I had access to). I need work clothes! I have been out of the workworld for almost 4 years - all I own are casual clothes and church clothes! My colleagues are mostly in business-casual or scrubs so I don't need too fancy, but still - I can't wear a plain tshirt! I also need some flats...bonus: alot of the girls wear slippers :D.

Anyways, moral of story - love my new workplace and look forward to working with them for a long time to come!

Skinny Jeans

 

I am SO glad that skinny jeans were NOT in fashion when I was going to school. I think they're absolutely ridiculous! Maybe that's me being snobby because they would look terrible on my body shape (especially since I have a booty) - but this is my blog so I'm allowed to say what I want :)

 

Some girls can 'pull it off', I admit...but some girls (who try) CAN'T. It's just like muffin top shirts...if you have one, avoid shirts that accentuate it! AND don't get me started on guys wearing skinny jeans! When was it okay to make you look like a tiny little itty bitty little fellow? Hello? Did I miss something?? 

 

Moral of story - I am not a fan! :)

 

 

Halloween

I love love love Halloween! :) It's a fun time of year for me, and since i've moved to Cochrane, I throw a big H-ween kids party up at the church! This year the activities included two crafts (a paper plate pumpkin and a black cup crow) - run by my friend Suzy. From there we attempted a relay game (which went about how I expected - okay, I expected it might go a little smoother, but frankly I wasn't holding my breath lol). The kids basically held a spoon with an 'eyeball' on it, while walking over or under a broom and then stepping only on the pumpkins in the 'mine field' and thus at the end dumped their eyeball and gae the spoon to next person. Basically it would have gone a bit smoother if parents had held their kids hand (so to speak) but kids still liked it! Then we went to the parachute games, followed by kids ZUMBA :) My friend Suzy did a couple songs which the kids loved! In the gym I also had witches hat ring toss set up, and the kids just ran around. I set up a baby corner (my big floor mats) for all the moms with young ones to sit at/on.

So I had in total moms and kids about 50 people over the course of the party! I made cupcakes and gluten free rice crispies for treat, and gave everyone a treat bag of stickers and playdough. I really enjyed the party, it was to me a big success and I look forward to next year! I am thinking more of a 'haunted house' set up in the side rooms as the activity with a craft and zumba again in the gym :)  (and of course the famous free for all running around that kids love!)

Carter as 'the vulture' (yes it's an owl costume)

Spiderman and the Vulture (enemies by the story but best friends in real life)

The kids that were present during the photo session! I took a bunch but there's not one perfect one where everyone's looking! Tho there was a definite SUPER HERO theme (boys and girls!)

Zumba!

These guys didn't know each other prior to the event

My baby boy in TIGHTS - I felt a little weird putting them on him hehe

 

 

Anyways, I posted photos on fb so I won't do any more than what's here. Bu tI had SOOO much fun! I felt it went smoothly. Sadly I didn't get to visit much but that's what happens when you host :)

NOW, H-ween for my family! So we went home and chilled at home until about 5:45 and Logan, Michael, and Carter went trick or treating. They got a huge bucket of candy by just walking up one side of our street...mIchael dropped Carter off at 6:40 and they went back out for a coupel more houses, but since it was SOOO cold they came back by 7! As far as trick or treaters go we had 46 kids! I will tell you that is not as much as our neighborhood has apparently had in past years, but this is the biggest amount of tricker-treaters i've EVER had! We were in basement suites or condos or a boring street where no one was festive for our entire married life so this was super exciting for me!

Great Halloween! Looking forward to next year :)

I GOT THE JOB!

-squee- I signed the contract this evening and I am officially going to be joining the Rose Wellness Center team as their Bowen Therapist!!! I am SO pumped about this and I can't wait to start! I will start out with Wednesdays and Saturdays. Wendesdays i'll do a 'split shift' and work the morning with last client booked at 11 so I can go and take Carter home for a nap. Then i'll go back as soon as Michael's home and work until close (so 4:00-8). Basically he will not be able to work late on Wednesdays any more. And the clinic hours are only 9-2 on Saturdays - we don't go anywhere on Saturdays anymore, or if anything we wait until after Carter's nap (generally until 2). For now the timing will be fantastic! I have a receptionist!! Isn't that cool? hehe.

Now i'm sitting here about to start writing my bio and 'what is Bowen', and sorting out my insurance, etc.

http://therosewellnesscentre.com/

the bug...detailed, beware! Skip to paragraph 3 for other news

Well my family did not avoid getting the 'flu' and everything that goes with it (from vomit to cold chills and aches to diarrhea). TMI? oh well! Carter started it, then Logan & I were next, and Michael finished it all up. It was just so awful for me because I truly have not thrown up in literally almost a decade (if not a decade or longer)...it had to have been in Jr high or High school. I've never had morning sickness during my pregnancies, and I am SOOO grateful for that! I hate the feeling that goes with being ill. -_- I felt terrible for Michael too because even though I always got to the toilet or sink, the one time I accidently puked in our poor-draining sink, and he had to help (as I was unable). "For better or for worse" right?

Anyways, It was a bonus that we all were sick together because then we could just all veg together and not have to worry about entertaining anyone as no one wanted to move (except Carter but thankfully he's laid back enough to just play independantly while we rested). We are lucky it only lasted 36hrs - we've heard of plenty of people who haven't had such short term symptoms.

Before getting sick I had reached day 8 of wheat/dairy/most fruits-free. I had lost 3lbs at that point, and then getting sick I lost 3 more lbs. I gained about a lb back thus far from the illness, but I am really happy with my new 'diet'. I miss things, but health wise I feel GREAT. Sure I crave sweets but the idea of solving my itchy problem is well worth the sacrifice, and if it means I can finally lose my final (from this point) 10lbs, then woohoo right? However, to date I am still itchy but definetly not so severe. There's improvement, but not a solution -yet-. I am being pretty careful not to eat anything with wheat and dairy, I only eat bananas, so that's the only 'sugar' i'm getting. Maybe i'll have to switch to a berry next week just to experiment.

I bought the Wild Rose detox/cleanse, but then I got sick and well frankly i feel pretty 'cleaned' lol, so I am going to hold off on doing it for a few months. It's basically 12 days of wheat/dairy/sugar free so it would have been easy to do at this point in time but I don't see the point now.

Anyways, i'm doing well and my family is well, and i'm excited to watch the lbs go down, who knows, maybe i'll reach my goals of 1. starting my next pregnancy at 130-135lbs and 2. fitting back into my Old Navy size 4s!

Vacation

Michael and I LOVE to travel. I'm not sure what it is, but ever since Alaska, we just have the destination vacation bug. We've had the opportunity to do Alaska, San Diego, and then Los Angeles (d-land). We've been trying to figure out what we want to do next (our list is very long). Basically our next 'big' vaca will likely be a cruise in the Caribbean with the kids and one set of parents (mine or Michael's). We were debating the idea of taking it this next April (with our tax return monies), but decided that might be better spent on our backyard. So instead we're working on the plans of doing a smaller vacation to Victoria/Vancouver.

Why there? Well, firstly I have an absolutelyamazing and fabulous Aunt and Uncle (and their kids/my cousins) that live there, whom we have been wanting to visit for ages! And secondly, we have always missed out on Vancouver on our travels out that way.

Anyways, i've been working on an itinerary  (minus the dates as it really is all based on my aunt's schedule!)

I'm thinking we will fly in and spend 2-3 days with the Fabulous Fairwell's. From there we will take the fairy to the mainland (I think the kids would enjoy the boat trip), ditch our bags at a hotel and then start seeing the sites over 2-3 days. The things on my list include:
1. Vancouver Aquarium (1/2 day)
2. Stanley Park (full day)
   a) walk the seawall (8.8km loop along the ocean that loops around)
   b)Variety Kids Waterpark & Beach
3. The Capilano Suspection bridge & tree walk (1/2 day)
4. Whale Watching tour (if it is in season and time permits)
5. Visit the temple grounds of the Vancouver Temple

And there you have it! Our flights are covered via airmiles (minus taxes), so we should be able to have a really wonderful, affordable 5-7 day vacation! I'm BEYOND excited about it!

Our other plans for the summer will be regular weekend camping trips....So in the mean time, now that i've written out 'the plan', I can get my mind back into Halloween and Christmas for the rest of the year :)

Interview

I have an interview in a week and a half. I am applying for a position to join a team of natural health practictioners. I would work on a 60-40 bases in their clinic on specific days (chosen by me of what they have available). They'd do all my advertising and really all I would have to do is come in on days I have scheduled clients. They have evenings and Saturdays available so i'm going in with the intention of saying I can work Saturdays, one evening a week and one morning a week. That way my kids are only ever left with a sitter when I have booked clients on the morning shift.

The nice thing is that I don't have to transfer my present clientell from my home-practice, I just am not to continue advertising from home. They stated they don't micromanage, but work on a trust basis with their practitioners.

Anyways, I'm really excited about the prospect that this could bring - certainly it will bring my Bowen to a new level of professionalism, and prepare me for when/if I choose to run a business from my home on more deep level than I do at this point.

But really, the most important question I need to be asking myself at this point is, What do I WEAR?! :)

Wheat-Free

Well I went to the doctor yesterday because I can barely stand the itching anymore (I've said that before yes?). Anyways, this is my new doctor (been seeing him for about 6 months when needed) and he took one look in the affected area and named it something and said that I have an allergy to something. In the medical world they always start with eliminating wheat and beer first as they are generally the top contendors. Since beer isn't a problem for me, wheat it is. I have taken it one step further and eliminated fruit EXCEPT bananas. That's my personal choice because I've occasionally over the years wondered if apples have affected the severity of the itching or not but never been disciplined enough to eliminate them -long- enough. I love fruit so incredibly much that I chose to keep bananas only so that when I start to add things back in (one at a time) I will have an idea as to what may or may not be the problem. I am on this restricted diet for 3-4 weeks starting this morning. I am hopeful that it will cure my problem! If it doesn't it should at least give me that kick start to eating healthy again (and bonus would be to lose a few lbs!)

Wish me luck :) Today I have wanted everything I can't have because I can't have it LOL oh the joy of our minds.

Nothing to say but want to blog

I actually don't have anything to really say but feel like I just want to write something! :)

So lets see where my babbling takes me. This past week my baby has been sick with fever and ear infection. It's terribly sad watching a baby be sick! As a mother we want to anything and everything we can for our babes and when there's nothing you can do it's devestating! He's finally on the mend but still not 100% so i'm taking him to our family doctor this evening for a check up.

What else...I ordered my Christmas cards! Yup, just need to get my letter printed and then I can have those out probably early November (I'm an overachiever! lol).

I love Shutterfly! I ordered my dad's gifts on it this year (I always make him a calendar and then I ordered a second photo gift for his office) - thankfully I have my dad's name this year! But the other thing I love about Shutterfly is that i'm trying something new with them. I am making photo books from their website. Basically I am an old school photo-printing kind of girl. I take pictures, then I develop them! So in Michael and my 5 years married we have an entire book shelf FULL (and part of a second shelf now) of photo albums. Realistically space wise I can't keep up with the rate we take photos and the albums they fill. I'll have 50 albums by the time my kids graduate highschool or college! So, after a trial run with our California trip (and alot of learning curves with the finished product), I have decided to do a photo book (or two depending) each year. I started in May of this year so this album will be labelled MAy -December 2012. Basically as I take photos I upload them right away into Shutterfly and right into the photobook. Many people often say they never develop because it's to overwhleming, but my friends, just doing it as you take them is not overwhelming at all! It takes an additional 10-15 minutes (depending on the volume of photos) which no one can tell me they don't have!
My only downside that I have found is that I feel like I am on edge when my kdis are flipping through them because if they rip a page there's not alot I can do - tape it up I suppose, but that doesn't look as nice. Photos in an album don't get ripped in the same way. AND, I often go into an album looking for a photo but I can't "take it out" - I will have to exert a little extra effort and a few cents and have it developed if I need a picture for a specific use.
Cost wise it actually works out to be the same (so long as you are smart with your picture placement in the photobook). It generally costs me for the album (that holds 300 photos) and prints: $100. That is the same cost as a photobook, and I can hold WAY more photobooks on a shelf than I can albums.
Another concern I had was that I can't have all my pictures as a 4x6 size, and I didn't want to make thumbnail sized photos of all my memories (to keep the photobook costs down), but have no fear! That's not the case at all. I choose to do all my photo books 12x12, and I do a minimum of 4 pictures per page (4x6 size approx) and then I only do "smaller" photos of those various photos that I like the memory but I don't need a large photo of (ex: when we went to the disneyland parade I put 10 images on one page of all the different characters that were in the parade - I don't need a centerfold of captain hook! lol). So as of right now i'm excited for the prospect of photo albums over the years to come :)
What abotu my kids? No they can't have my albums (until i'm dead) but I can make them their own of the highlights of their lives when they're older :) Oh the opportunities!

Well that's all I have for the day - my blogging desire is satisfied! Have a good day!

PS. We have a new "pet" - a venus fly trap plant. It's kind of neat - I need to research more in order to keep it alive ha ha

My Garden

When we moved into this house we were lucky to purchase a PIE lot, which gives us a huge backyard, and big spaces between our homes. The previous owner built raised beds all along the side of the house along side the -unfinished- sidewalk into the backyard. There is 4 raised beds, all large enough to hold two rows of -something-. My neighbors said this year was the first year they saw anything being grown in it because they moved before they used it.

This was an experimental year. I didn't treat the ground or do anything to it. At first glance the soil appeared rich and it wasn't terrible, but I just decided to plant and see what came of it, so then i'll know what is needed for next year. We have been eating from our garden for about a month (half of the stuff anyways), and today Logan and I harvested the remaining items because it's starting to get colder and colder at nighttime.

I planted peas (2 rows), butternut squash, green beans, carrots (2 rows), red onion, potatoes, and something else but i'm drawing a blank. It'll come to me!

I didn't get any butternut squash and half of my onions grew to be only about an inch in diameter. My peas did really well (not as well as our house in West Terrace), however my peas didn't last long. We got about 3 good picking off of them, and then they got covered in a white film which i've discovered is either a fungus or a soil problem. Soil treatment should solve the problem for next years crop. My carrots did fantastic! I say that because last year in West Terrace I did a whole row, but did not know to thin them out and they barely grew past an inch in length. This year we got lots and lots - but still many tiny ones. Next year again, I have learned alot and will be able to thin appropriately (also the soil was pretty tough so that may  have been a factor also). Lastly my potatoes. I got about 3-5 per hill all a decent size. I did white potatoes and they're delicious.

All in all I LOVE gardening. Yes there are bugs and no I don't love that part of it, but I love thinking 'gee what should we have or supper?' and walking outside my door, picking food, and eating it. It's really quite rewarding!

I'd like to try pre starting some of my seeds next year, however I don't really have anywhere to grow indoors, so sadly at this point in time my garden will be the basics as you saw above.

OH! I remembered what else I grew! LETTUCE. lol. I picked what was suppoed to be a nice crunchy lettuce, and it sort of was, but my lettuce just got way out of control! Growing faster then I could eat it, and to be honest we tossed 3/4 of it because it was a slightly bitter lettuce. Tasted great mixed with romaine, etc, but  next year i'll try and actually find Romaine lettuce to grow.

Needless to say, learned lots, looking forward to learning more! :D Glad my parents taught me how to garden (or at least made me help them garden as a child) because it surely made a world of difference in my attitude towards it and my interest in it! Logan really enjoys helping me plant and dig up, so I'm going to continue encouraging him to assist me and eventually give him aweed pulling chore, etc.

Hooray for gardens!

Weening

As of today I decided to ween Carter. Last night he slept 12 hours through the night. Then at church I was sitting there thinking 'gee, Carter hasn't nursed for 18 hours' and thought, may as well ween him - since i've been looking for an good time to do it.

Logan weened himself at 11 months so that was super easy. Carter not so much. Carter still is nursing at bedtime and naps most of the time (but not all the time - 2 or 3 times a week he goes down by Michael)...so I had Michael put Carter for his nap and then nursed him at 3:30 this afternoon (21 hours since his last time) just to relieve my chest a bit - it was just at tha ttime starting to feel 'full'. he obviously wasn't drinking much!

anyways, I'm so done nursing. I commend anyone who goes past a year, but it's certainly not something that interests me and it physically makes my body feel weird! This is scary for me. All I know and am familiar with is Logan's horendous sleeping habits and i'm afraid to ween because at the same time I have to sleep train Carter as he nurses to sleep for his nap and bedtime. He is capable of going to sleep on his own as he has done it on occasion (painfully) before - so I know he will transition but i'm still deep down (and not so deep down) scared he won't!

Wish us luck!

Signed,
Scared Mama!

September is finally here

September goal:
Monday: Zumba 7:15pm
Tuesday: Boxing 7pm
Wednesday: Women's only boxing 6pm
Thursday: quick fit lunchhour boxing 12pm (noon)

Food: cut all refined sugars and fruit (minus my morning banana) for 2 weeks (and thus flour/wheat)

Why? I want to work out because it's healthy and makes me feel good. And I want to cut the junk because of two reasons. 1. Because it is healthy and makes me feel good, and 2. because I still am suffering from my mystery itch which I suspect is still parasites which feeds off of sugars so I am experimenting by eliminating it combined with my supplement.

Wish me luck!

easily offended

Two weeks ago in church there was a lesson given on offense - and not taking to it so easily. This really hits close to home to me because I am easily offended by a handful of members of my family and their lack of interest in mine and Michael's life. I am not asking for a best friend but I would like to know that they care about us which is not portrayed in their actions in the slightest.

anyways, As I said, I am for some reason easily offended by them. Maybe I want them to like me? I do often need that from people. But I don't think that's it in this case... I have to try so incredibly hard to bite my tongue and not say something rude to them - maybe I find them challenging? I so desperately need to learn how to love them without judgement which I find incredibly difficult! It's my big challenge in life I guess...judgement. And what goes hand in hand with that is forgiveness.

Here's an excerpt from a talk by David A Bednar from an Oct 2006 conference talk that it is a nice reminder for me (especially after a year ago I blogged about anger being a choice, why would not all emotions fall into this same category right?:

Choose Not to Be Offended

When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.

In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.

Thomas B. Marsh, the first President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in this dispensation, elected to take offense over an issue as inconsequential as milk strippings (see Deseret News, Apr. 16, 1856, 44). Brigham Young, on the other hand, was severely and publicly rebuked by the Prophet Joseph Smith, but he chose not to take offense (see Truman G. Madsen, “Hugh B. Brown—Youthful Veteran,” New Era, Apr. 1976, 16).

In many instances, choosing to be offended is a symptom of a much deeper and more serious spiritual malady. Thomas B. Marsh allowed himself to be acted upon, and the eventual results were apostasy and misery. Brigham Young was an agent who exercised his agency and acted in accordance with correct principles, and he became a mighty instrument in the hands of the Lord.

The Savior is the greatest example of how we should respond to potentially offensive events or situations.

“And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men” (1 Nephi 19:9).

Through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165).

Baby #3

No, I am not pregnant (in fact, my 2nd period since pre-carter arrived today), but we've been discussing baby #3 as of recent and when we would -like- to have said baby.

A few things to note:
1. I would like 2+ years between Carter and his next sibling but no more than 3 years. My last pregnancy was just so devestatingly hard for me emotionally and physically I would like a little more time to 'forget it' lol. Also I want TIME with Carter. Often I feel middle kids have it hard enough sometimes, let alone throw another sibling in right away. If I can -choose- I would like to keep our gapping the same.
2. Michael never really has an opinion on the matter, just does what I say...so this decision unfairly lays in my lap.
3. Logan wants a sister next LOL
4. We are not using any form of protection aside from staying clear  of"fertile" times of the month. Pre LOGAN we used the pill, but ever since him we have not - between nursing and miscarrying and the ectopic pregnancy we have just been lucky as far as being able to have the 2yr3mo gap between Logan & Carter.

Okay, the real reason I blogged this blog was to just share a funny piece of information. As some of you know, my husband is more on the 'punkish' side of things, and he has always thought it'd be cool to have a Halloween baby. Well, that would conveniently be a 2yr2mo gap, and with the way my cycles are at the 1st of the month, I could technically have a due date of Nov 8th if I were to become pregnant in February of this coming year. lol Anyways, that is the -start- of when I want to become pregnant as far as timeing goes. So wish us luck we make til minimum Feb :) I of course will love and cherish a child if he/she came sooner than that...and ideally I would much rather have a baby in the months of Feb/Mar through June as I prefer SPRING babies (now that i've had a spring and a fall) but I am trying not to be picky about that :) hehe

The last straw...or maybe the second last straw?

This blog is a venting of my frusterations with Michael's work. (so long positive blogging LOL)

Michael texted me this morning stating he might have to work this weekend away in Edmonton. This weekend we have a birthday party, Carter's actual birthday, michael's parents are coming to visit and the Cochrane parade. Basically, not a weekend to go away for work. He told his employer this and he wasn't impressed with Michael but somehow they found an alternative (I don't exactly have a communicative husband so parts of the story could be missing all along the way)

Anyways, Michael has been really frusterated with his job the past month or two...and I have pushed strongly that he needs to stay with this company for multiple years mostly for his resume purposes - people like to see 'long term' dedication. He is coming up 2 years end of September, and I really want to see him stay 2-3 more years. However! This was really frusterating to me...I feel like Ive gone all 'mama bear' because now they're making him -feel- bad for not wanting to work a weekend of great importance to us.

That made me think back to what has been frusterating to Michael. Basically this past month Michael has worked 6-6 every single day - they wanted him to work more but he outright refused because 1. Michael burns out really quickly and 2. He wants to see his family! Most of the problems we've had with this company are related to them wanting to make him work ridiculous hours or random weekends out of the blue (he hasn't been sent out of town in probably a 10 months or longer!)...and most of them go right down to being a conflict with our family. Michael has no desire to live to work, but rather work to live. AND schedule/consistency are important to Michael. He hates being told randomly 'by the way you have to stay till this truck is done' which could take to midnight, and then be expected to be back to work by 7.

Maybe PNR isn't the place for him to be...he expressed he was a family man when he first was interviewed so I don't know if either they're trying to get him to leave or if they are just that inconsiderate? Really they need another mechanic but haven't hired anyone, which shouldn't be punishment for Michael.

Anyways, company just arrived so I'll just end my rant with me being unsure what life will bring!

Positive post

My last few posts have been fairly negative as i've let off steam or just expressed opinions that I didn't know where else to express - so now for some happy thoughts!

1. I started reading my friend Mindy's blog...she's just a lovely writer and a great friend, I enjoy her spirit and energy and look forward to reading more about her experiences over the years to come
2. I am grateful for my family. I have two outstanding little boys, and a wonderful husband who in his own way does so much good for me and our family, whether I express it enough to him and to others.
3. We celebrated our FIFTH anniversary on the 18th. Michael sent me flowers (he was away on a stake father/son camp) - it was a wonderful surprise to find a big bouquet on my doorstep! Then when they got home we left the boys with a babysitter and went quaddng. This is significant to me because a)Michael and I spent alot of our dating/engagment/first year married doing various quadding trips 3-5 times a year, b) Michael actually proposed to me on a quadding trip, and c) we incorporated the machines into some of our wedding photos. It seemed a suited activity for a 5th Anniversary! I'm actually hoping that for our TENTH we might be in a position to maybe buy our own. In 5 years I plan to be done birthing children, so pregnancy and infants wouldn't hold us back from being able to go out - especially living in Cochrane, there's SO many places to enjoy the activity.
4. I am grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have felt "inactive" as of recent. I mingle with the ladies and such, but because of naptime and other circumstances I have only been to Fast and Testimony Sacrament Meeting the whole Month of August and only got to church in July like one or two times. Summer is hard because we did a lot of camping and travelling, or like last week, Michael was in urgent care, etc, etc. Anyways, it really drags a person down to miss so much church, it truly is a spiritual energizer! However, since we're moving to 9am church for the next few months while the temple is being built, I will actually be able to attend at minimum, sacrament meeting :) I'm super pumped about it!
5. I am GRATEFUL Carter loves to sleep. He naps 3-5 hours a day, and he sleeps 11-12 hours a night with typically one wake up (which hopefully will phase out soon too, but I won't push it yet).
6. I love summer (despite how hot my house gets if I forget to close the blinds!) - I am excited for Fall
7. My garden is doing really well considering I didn't know how it would turn out (I didn't really prepare the soil, I just planted in what was there). I LOVE our dinners - fresh peas, fresh carrots, fresh potatoes! My beans didn't grow...but my lettuce did - I learned I didn't like the lettuce I chose to plant, and will look for romaine to do next year. I am curious to see if my squash grew :) and we did onions as well (just for mention sake). Learned so much for next year!
8. I am grateful that we can pay our bills each month. I am even more grateful that I have skills to assist in making some money.
9. I am grateful for friendships :) Cochrane has provided me with so many!
10. I don't know what to put here but it seemed fitting to put a #10. lol. I know! I am grateful that my 'depressed' feelings have subsided and have been subsided for a few weeks. I feel more upbeat and more rested and more energetic and more up to the challenge of everything life throws my way!

Hunger Games - my honest opinions

I have many disconnected thoughts about this movie. Do NOT read this blog if you don't want to hear my deepest and most honest opinions regarding my distaste of this movie - which will offend or confuse some. I haven't read the books, and generally books are more detailed and more explanatory as to things. The start of the movie was extremely confusing and I didn't enjoy not having a clue what was going on. I didn't even finish the movie I was so disappointed and appalled by it. Here are some of my disjointed thoughts:

1. Some books should NOT be made into movies. This is one of them. Any book based on the murdering and killing of CHILDREN is not good entertainment.
2. Upon expressing my above opinion I was told that the book is "based on historic events". Ya, i'm sure this movie was based on history. -sarcasm-. I'm sure there was a fenced off game where they purposefully keep you in, injuring you in the process to do so (the forest fire scene) with MECHANICAL props and computerized contraptions, etc. This book may have a deep deep DEEP underlying link to our "history" but frankly it's too theatrical and too modernized to be a good argument in this case.
3. A friend said we do this already in our current day and age. Ex: Survivor. I couldn't agree more (in a way more tame and less drastic form of the game.) Thank goodness I can say I am NOT a Survivor fan, and not a fan of -most- reality TV shows. (I watch Top Model :) ).
4. I can't stress how appalled I was by this movie and how sick and twisted it is.
5. I am OUTRAGED that this movie is directed to teens and young adult age group.
6. I am OUTRAGED that this movie is only rated PG13. Frankly I think this movie deserves an 18A rating.
7. I am shocked that so many people I know condone and enjoyed this movie that I thought to be on the same wave length as I as far as movie standards. Yes I am aware I have high standards for movies, but that's my choice because I have high church standards and I am pretty darn positive this movie is not something that my Heavenly Father would check off as an A.O.K movie. Yes I am not perfect and i'm sure there's things in my movie collection that could be questioned, but this movie is not EVEN a question to me and that's what shocks me about so so so so many people I know that enjoyed it.
8. I will admit that the story line was intriguing and I almost finished the movie 'just to see the ending'. (again, I might have considered reading the books at one point prior to movie - but now that i've seen movie footage i'll always envision what I have now seen and not be able to make it fit my imagination - not sure tha tmakes sense lol). Michael finished it and told me the outcome in 10 words or less (lol, come on, it's Michael here).

So, neat story idea, poor movie choice. That's my verdict.

fat pants

So that dreaded moment when you put on your 'fat pants' (or in my case, capris) and they are a nice fit. Sad. Sad. SAD! I can feel the weight starting to go to my lower body now, and I still can't get back into my happiest eating routine! What's taht about anyways? I know - broken record complaints from me. My blog tho :) I'm allowed.

Anyways, just a sad time...I know what I need to do and know what works for me but still can't get there. I thankfully reached a high point and haven't passed it yet - been able to maintain that high point. I have picked up working out, but still not to the level of consistency. There are NO bootcamps in town that arne't in a gym and highly outrageously priced...I prefer private, outdoor bootcamps - but no such luck.

but really, reality is I need to stop eating so much. I tracked my food intake yesterday, and when I track I tend to be able to resist those litte 'extra' snacks, and it was a 1500 calorie day! I should be at 12-1300cals. So somehow I have to keep those 'extras' at bay AND cut out approx 300 cals. Not an easy task.

I hate it when people say "well I'll start working out when..." but i'm going to do it anyways! Come September I have scheduled in more fitness classes - the reason I can't now is that the gym is in summer mode (half the classes available), so there's way more selection of classes and times starting in Sept. I AM tho working out on Tuesdays (boxing) and the occasional extra day in the week, and am slowly but not consistantly wrking out in my basement once a week (hopefully pick up to 2-3 times). New goal: go from my present 147 (yuck) down to 125. That's 22lbs! AH, goal used to be only 10-12. Can I do it? With will power...do I have that? no! :D

SIGH. I hate this battle. If only this last pregnancy hadn't been so difficult....yes that's a poor excuse but again - my blog. :)

sleep complaints

Apology at the beginning for the negative tone this blog might contain - I am just in need of a good venting!

Logan has never been a fabulous sleeper, and then in the past year we've had some really good nights and really good stretches with him, but regardless how long or how many of those 'good stretches' he has, he ALWAYS reverts back to being a really cruddy sleeper! Logan's bedtime routine is one of which he goes to bed at 7/7:30 and doesn't get up in the morning most of the time until 7 or 8am. Awesome right? Generally...|(maybe?)

Here's what happened last night: He went to bed at 7 per usual, then he woke up at 10, 1, 3, and got up at 5. Michael and I have an arrangment where he takes care of Logan and I get Carter. Michael and I have just within the past 3-4 months been able to sleep in the same room and same bed as each other since Carter's arrival - a really big deal! I have blogged about Logan before, he is the type that LIKES having another person in the room and/or bed with him. He has been like that since birth. When he wakes up at night he 50-50 as per his attitude. Half of the time he is sleep walking i'm pretty sure. How do I know? well we have followed him all the way down the stairs, watched him walk into the kitchen then turn around and head back upstairs. At some point he generally comes 'out of it' a little and then we help him back to his room. So when he is in that state we will usually just redirect him and tuck him back in and he doesn't even seem to comprehend what is happening. Other times he wakes up to pee, and other times he wakes up for a drink of water. That's 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time when he wakes he is just a monster! I say monster without knowing what other word to use. He just wakes up and just cries and cries and cries for NO reason. He is moody and emotional and upset and mad and there's nothing we can do for him that's right - we try and help, he gets more upset, we don't try and help, he gets even more upset. It's a lose-lose and it's INCREDIBLY frusterating! That happens almost EVERY night at least once. The only way we don't see this monster behavior is on nights Michael sleeps with him. Those nights he will sleep right through with only potty wake ups. Then he will throw us 1-3 nights of all the way through the night with no wake ups whatsoever without michael in his room. Its just exhausting really because it makes Michael grumpy everytime he has to wake up and it makes him grumpy because he hasnt had a good nights sleep.

Then theres Carter! He generally wakes up still once a night with a give-or-take 7pm bedtime also, and up at 6. I am desperatly wanting him to stop nursing but I am unsure how to ween him. Logan basically weened himself and by this time he was actually done. Logan just adapted to a bottle, but Carter cant have bottles - he just chews the nipples to pieces (you can imagine why I want to stop nursing huh). But really, he is 1 in 2 weeks and doesnt need to be waking at all anymore unless in distress. however, that being said, I can handle one nightime wake up, Carters problems are presently in the daytime. He is going through this hugely clingy, hugely whiny phase and that is just exhausting! I cant put him down ever and if he does he just cries and cries and cries and tugs at my legs until I pick him up...or I have to be on the floor with him (and as longas the timing is right he will play) - this is his behavior at least 50% of the time he is awake in a day.

BUT on top of it all, for SOME reason I am just unable to sleep at night! I toss and turn and toss and turn. I try and relax and my back starts to hurt, or something starts to ache, or my mystery itch (yup, still part of my life) flares up, or one of the boys wakes up, or my pillows are too firm or too fluffy or Im too hot or too cold. Its beyond ridiculous! I just dont even know where to begin!

Okay, i think thats enough venting for the day :)

Signed,
One tired momma!

Catch up blog - some TMI details, be warned

okay, so much to say, so little time!
1. Family Reunion long weekend was a total blast!
2. Logan and Carter took time adapting back into schedule after it...then logan ended up with a cold aout 4-5 days later
3. I picked up a cold, which then led (or is completely unconnected) to an infection on my ermm..boob. yup, at first i thought I had a plugged duct or mastitus, but it was a topical infection which meant I couldn't nurse as it was right in the...suck zone? (lol) It was excruciating. So I got an antibiotic, and 24 hours later I managed to break the infection (physically) and another 12 hours Carter was nursing on that side again. However it still is pretty tender. In the meantime I did get a plugged duct (which I thought the engorged feeling was part of the infection but end of the 12 hours and a few pumps and then carter nursing I realized one of my glands was NOT releasing milk. I got into the shower, massaged it and fiddled around in the...area...lol and unplugged the duct and sat for what felt like forever while it emptied. Wow - so much relief from something so small! The body is fascinating!
4. in the process of trying to figure out what activites to put Logan in, and what not to. The million dollar debate! I think I've finally chosen the MYC (Music forYoung Children) and Skating lessons. Then in the winter (January) I think I'll enroll Logan in Playball (a program that teaches generic catching, bouncing, hitting, throwing, passing, etc with about 6-8 different sports).
5. facebook made me do timeline. I really find it confusing and annoying. Oh well, i'll adjust, just wanted to complain a bit :)
6. Haven't lost weight, havehighs and lows if I'll EVER get control over my eating.
7. Went to my first counsellin session with alberta health services (key word: free). It was basically a 'get to know you' session, and I enjoyed the guy, didn't make me feel like I was talking to a therapist too badly (sometimes he'd say 'and how dd that make you feel' lol and that just made me laugh inside). It felt good to make some goals. Sadly when I finally went to see him I was having a really good 7-10 days so I almost didn't want to go and dig up all the bad stuff lol but it didn't bring me down by any means so that's good

That's all for now! Kids are waking from naps/emerging from basement!

8. changed my mind about my back patio - going to lay stamped/colored concrete I think! Still working on details but i'm excited about the decision

My Bowen experience

So yesterday afternoon I went and received some Bowen - my major complaint is I have had some serious back pain in the kidney region of my back and it's been waking me/keeping me up at night, so I figured it was high time to go in. I also know that I have been harboring some anger within my body, which I without a doubt think contributed to my back pain. (Kidneys 'hold' anger, and other emotions). I told her this before hand because I knew it would come up during my session lol, basically I warned her that if I tear up it's cuz I have some emotions needing to be let go.

Anyways, my friend and collegue agreed to do a Bowen trade. I will admit I feel like I got the better end of the deal because she has her module 8 and specialized 9 while I recieved my 7 and had to put my learning on hold (baby & finances). She also has taken something called Mind-body Bowen. I cannot WAIT to learn this! she did mind-body on me.

Let me tell you, I felt things. I felt things swirling and whirling within my body, each and every move she made. I felt major pain in many of the moves that I do on others. She used a deeper technique then I'm used to and I almost cried from the pain of the depth! however, I breathed through it. Then she did a SP1 (mod 9) move on me around the scap and rhomboids...I almost started hyperventalating, then within 30 seconds after the move the tears started flowing! I was BAWLING, uncontrollable, full on, crying my eyes out, heaving with breath. holy cow... she grabbed me some tissue and sat next to the table and talked me through it. Took about 5-10 mins to let it all 'out' and then I felt like a weight had been lifted from my body. Literlaly. the moves prior to the one that brought me to tears I had expressed that I felt like my whole body was being pressed down into the massage table and I felt like a lead weight.

After I let it all out, I felt so light! And she did one more move on my kidneys, then we ended the session there. I actually felt repulsed by the idea of her doing even one more movement on my body - I was VERY done.

Today (the next day), I can make note that my back doesn't hurt -quite- as bad through the night but it's still not gone. however, Bowen can take up to 10 days to sink in, and I do still have some emotions to work through before I can probably say good bye to the physical pain. But as far as the anger goes, I felt like I had some good grip on things today. Things that would have sent me into a feeling of fury on the inside (and occasionally the outside) I felt like I could handle them.

That was my experiene :)

Bowen

I did it, I ordered ONE THOUSAND flyers...well, postcards lol as they were half the price, and I plan to deliver half of them end of August, and the other half end of October (maybe i'll give them out in the halloween bags? LOL jk).

Michael and I are in a phase of life where with this new house purchase we are in the 'living from paycheque to paycheque' phase. Yes, I am putting away money each paycheque, but certainly not as much as I'd like, and i'm CERTAINLY not happy with our debt load (aka: my mastercard) presently, so I have decided to do something about it. Basically the plan is to give up all my little jobs (newspapers, my tentative fall piano students, and babysitting) in order to focus on my passion: Bowen. Idealy I would like to have regularly 4-6 clients per week, all in 2-3 days. That way I can take Logan to his various Fall activities I have signed up for (and plan to sign up for) AND still have time for my kids.

Wish me luck!

Tina & Aaron's wedding day

My friend Tina from highschool got married yesterday and I had the pleasure of being a part of her wedding party. The plan was to take Carter and my mom and just deal with cranky Carter (who hates travelling and didn't have anywhere to nap, etc etc) so that I could nurse him the 2-3 times a day he still nurses. (nap times and bedtime specifically). Last minute (the night before) we decided my mom would just come to my house and watch Carter. I had my friend Mindy agree to come over at bedtime IF he was hysterical and in need of nursing, and nurse him for me (she has a baby boy a month older than Carter)...I'll tell you I felt odd asking but she's one person I knew would do it - and vice versa actually. Anyways, it didn't come to that but I just wanted the back up JUST in case.

So, I left at 8:30am and arrived at Tina's for hair-dos at 10. We got all dolled up and headed to the hotel to do some final set up and readying. The ceremony was at 3pm where I had the honor of witnessing and signing for their marriage. The wedding party was two girls and two guys - all of us married or engaged, which was really nice as it took the "single" edge of the day and we could all just have a good time and laugh and  joke and "flirt" in a non threatening way without any intentions or hidden agendas! After ceremony we hopped in a limo (one of those truck style limos) and headed off to get pictures done. (funny moment: we did the jumping picture and the photographer had the wedding party hold hands and I said 'make sure you dn't tell me husband' - but to be honest, i told him as soon as I got home because it was a little awkwrd holding another mans' hand!). Finished pictures and hopped back in the limo and back to the hotel (where the reception was also being held). We got back in time for dinner which was PHENOMINAL! There was multiple salads, there was deviled eggs, there was fruit and veggie platters, meat and cheese platters, cabbage rolls, roasted chicken, roast beef, potatoe wedges (baked i think), cooked veggies...it was a great spread! After dinner we mingled and such until speeches, garter tosses, cake cutting, first dances, etc. I stayed and danced a couple songs (which I haven't done in YEARS) and then left by 9 so I could get home at a decent hour.

I love love LOVED attending this wedding for many reasons. 1. It was great to see and catch up with old friends. 2. There was minimal alcohol consumption all around - a few beers or drinks floating around but all in all I don't think anyone got 'drunk' (at least when I left at 9 no one was LOL), 3. I got a day out all by myself! I have not had a day out in probably 3 years that was an ENTIRE day out (left home at 830am, arrived home 1030pm) that wasn't an 8 hour class or workshop (where i would promptly rush home to rescue whomever was watching my kids). I tell you, I had such a fantastic time! I didn't know a soul there other than the bride, other bridesmaid and Tina's immediate family but that was okay! It was still a blast. Everything was calm and relaxed and smooth sailing.

The bridesmaid dress: So I wore a baby pink dress, knee length with an added cap sleeve for modesty sake with silver open toed heels. (funny side note: I told Delaney (other bridesmaid) that I bought silver heels for the wedding, and she ended up getting the same shoes not knowing where I had gotten mine!). With hair and make up I felt super cute! I haven't seen the pictures yet which might show otherwise, but I felt like I 'fit in' with the other two girls who are super skinny! lol. the past month I have been focusing on just accepting me for me and loving me for me, something I had slipped away from the past few months, and one worry i had was being the 'big bridesmaid' at this wedding because I have bigger arms and legs than both other girls and am shorter then both also. Anyways, that wasn't the case, I felt equally 'checked out' and chatted with then Delaney, and I felt simply pretty all night long! It was just a perfect evening.

Tina: she looked absolutely STUNNING! She was elegent and gorgeous. she surprised me how calm and collected she was and how well she spoke in front of everyone and I have never seen her with Aaron before longer than 5 minutes, and I just knew that they were meant to be with how they acted and cared for each other all evening. Tina is unique in the sense that she is 28years old and before Aaron she never exclusively dated anyone else or slept with anyone else, etc. She was waiting for her future companion - whom she found 2.5 years ago and i'm so happy for her!

by the end of the evening I was very tired and ready to go home. I know I said how much I loved being away for a day and having fun, but I desperately missed my boys!! All day I was checking my phone waiting to hear something from michael or my mom but never got a msg, and by days end I just wanted to snuggle Logan and/or Carter and just be with them. so I rushed home and even tho I didn't see them, I felt better being near. :)

It was a great day and I cannot wait until the pictures are ready!! I'll post at a later date.

Weighing & Measuring

Well it's time to get really serious. I'm hoping that by writing this down I will feel that much more committed. I used to weigh and measure my food as whomever might read this probably already knows. Over the past 10 days or so I have been really well with trying to eat well, exercise and be happy all at the same time. I feel in a really good place today and am going to take the opportunity to start what used to work amazingly well for me. So when eating "program food" (that's where I get my portions and controls from is the FA food program) a new starter basically just eats vegetables and protein for the first while until getting control over her/his food...then at that point adds rice/potatoes. People's first comment to me is "but you need carbs in your diet"...what people's biggest misconception is that a carb is not strictly breads and such and there are actually many vegetables that are considered high in carbs (like peas and corn). Anyways, i'm planing to weigh and measure all my veggies and protein, and limit myself to maximum 3 proper servings of fruit a day, aiming to only have 2. And I'm altering "program" and if I am hungry mid meals I will have either veggies or fruit as a snack. I always -want- junk food mid day, so that will be my biggest challenge is just eating a healthy snack instead.

Anyways! that's that :) I am undecide what to do about parties and events yet so we'll just come across that when the time comes. In reality I would like to say that if i'm somewhere I won't eat any sweets, but I can't guarentee that at this point as it's been a real struggle this past year for me...cold turkey giving up all sugar seems to be unatainable for me these days, but of course that would be my preference...reality is I can't just 'have one' cookie or square or piece of cake, it's none or lots. So we'll just have to cross those bridges when they come up. If I can get a handle on my daily intake of good food maybe I can feel stronger at rejecting the tasty but not-so-good food.

Logan's Birthday Party

We survived! It was a BLAST! Logan had 11 friends over, so 12 kids in total (only one person didn't come that we were expecting so that's pretty good!). We did a drop-your-kid-off party this year, and Michael, my mom & I were the adults running the show. It was a movie themed PJ party. Friends came, we played til 6 then had birthday cake (a rocket ship cake that I lit sparklers on the one end to make it 'blast off'). Then we did present opening. This was the most challenging part of the day - it was really difficult keeping 11 sets of hands off of his presents with only 3 adults. I still don't have a clue who gave him a few of his recieved gifts. lol. Then we headed downstairs where I had two rooms set up. One room for the movie/popcorn, and one room for playing. The movie watching lasted about 40 mins before even the kids who were happy to just watch were too distracted to pay attention lol, so we lined everyone up and put on shoes and coats and headed outside! We ran around, played bubbles, played football, 'what time is it mr wolf', and attempted duck duck goose. :) We had so much fun!

People said I was crazy doing a drop off party with so many, but it really wasn't all that bad! sure it was go-go-go the whole time, and alot of work, but it was anticipated work. Would I do it again? Yes! Would I change things? of course! lol...I would specifically end the party half hour earlier as that's when the kids were done with the stuff I had planned and I wouldn't want to plan more because more often just ends up costing more.



So, happy birthday to my fantastic baby boy now a big THREE year old.

PS. He got spoiled this year (okay, he's just all around spoiled), our big gift to him was a quad: he looks darn cute on it!

PPS. I LOVE HIM! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Out of my element...Kyla the boxer

We recently purchased a family pass to our local recreation center, which allows us access to all their classes, various facilities in the center and the walking/running track, etc. Today I opted to give the "Big Bag Boxing" class a shot. I walk into the room and I almost walked right back out as all that was in the waiting area was 4 BIG guys (like look like they could fight UFC) and then 2 women with muscles like i've never seen (also could fight UFC lol).

Needless to say I pressed on and it turned out as the next 5-10 mins passed by the class filled with more 'normal' company, and there was 2 other ladies trying for the first time.

WHAT A WORKOUT! Holy cow...the "warm-up" was it's own workout in and of itself. By 30 minutes all my muscles and body was so fatigued I thought when I had checked the clock that it had to have been at least 45 mins to an hour gone by. I -rarely- am in a class setting where I am fatigued like that. I love my Zumba because it's fun, but I don't get out of breath by it, and trust me, I dance hard! I'm not a sweater, and I didn't sweat in boxing, but boy was I WARM!

It was an awesome class and I hope I have the willpower to stick it out. Through the summer the only classes I can attend is Tuesday nights and Saturdays that we're in town (we're away at least 2 of the weekends due to camping and a bridal shower). But as I said, if I can stick it out for a month doing that I think i'll notice some nice results