Girls and boys

I have been asked recently a few times (oddly enough) if I am going to 'try for a girl' - asking in such a way that suggests my family is incomplete without one. I'll be honest, I don't feel a deep desire to have to have a girl. I feel completely content with boys... of course if I have a girl I would be completely thrilled, but my family wouldn't be incomplete without.

Does that make sense? :) It only crossed my mind becuase I keep getting asked.

A little of this, a little of that..

Bowen business is booming for me. I am pretty excited for that actually - I am working on 3-5 clients a week, and that is my preferred max to be honest. Carter is still just a little baby and I don't want to be any busier than I am with Bowen at this point in time. But I have to admit, I have loved bringing in a little bit of extra spending money into the household - it has been paying for my fitness efforts (personal trainer & zumba), it has been paying for 'things' and objects - especially for Christmas, and it will be paying for new clothing for myself when we're in Disneyland. It's really rewarding for me. Also I have had realy great feedback from my clients and Bowen has been working so well for them.

One of my best friends had a tragic event happen in her life, and frankly I am just heartbroken for her! It is one of those things that there is nothing you can really do or say to someone in her situation because really, it's just a matter of letting her and her family mourn their loss. She is deeply in my thoughts and heavily in my prayers right now and I know she has a great support system and help to get her through. It's one of those events that you only -hear- about, and even though it's not me, it surely hits close to home because this friend is surely one of my closest.

Christmas is right around the corner - two weeks from yesterday. I can't believe it! I am most excited to see Logan's reaction and face(s) that day when he gets to open gifts from Santa. We did get Carter afew things and frankly I wrapped them only so Logan could help his little brother open a present or two. I love this time of year! It's so much fun :) The spirit of Christmas seems to affect basically everyone and it's just a joyous time. i'm excited to have my family at my house for Christmas. In the morning we will attend church and I am actually in the choir for the musical sacrament meeting - and even playing a song for one of the numbers (SCARY). But then we get to come home after church and have a lovely family gathering and gift opening, followed by a lovely dinner :) awesome! 12 days!!!

Aging..

I have particular noticed this past 4 months that I truly am aging. For the past 5 years I have really felt like I was still 21, but now I am starting to "feel" my age because I now see 21 year olds and think 'gee, how young are you!' - kinda like when I turned 19-20ish, I would look back on 14-15 year olds and think 'oh gosh, I hope I wasn't really that bad/annoying' lol, and not that I think 21 year olds are annoying or anything but they definetly are for the most part...younger. So i'm feeling 25 now.

Other things that make me feel older is that my body is changing, which i'm not thrilled about but am not against either as it's the circle of life right? I am starting to notice wrinkles forming, or my once silky smooth lotionless hands/feet now need to be lotioned and cared for, and the weight loss is harder now, and of course just the way my lifestyle is with children and a family to care for, etc - that can be tiring on any body right? Thankfully generally my energy levels havent deteriorated but my energy levels certainly have changed!

On the flip side I really am not digging the aging process! I like being young - and i've certainly got a handful of years left of young life and would argue with any 30 year old that they aren't old...as i've aged my idea of 'old' has changed. I used to think of my current age was old for heavens sake! My mom is 'getting old' as she is in her mid 50s lol, and i don't even consider her old!

But moral of my blog, I feel 25 now - not necessarily 26 lol, but for the next few years I will likely feel 25 (probably until I hit 30)...I figure I was 21 for 5 years so now I can be 25 for 5 years. :)  

My family: present and future

Now that Carter is born and life is really getting to seem normal again (as far as 'normal' goes anyways), I can't help but think about my future family size on occasion. We, as you know, have applied for the adoption of a child into our family. That process won't go forward until Carter is 1 year old but in the meantime I can't help but do some family planning! I am a planner through and through and like to think I have some control how my life will go (even though I know that my Heavenly Father has the ultimate say lol)..

Anyways, I HATED being pregnant this past pregnancy, which is definetly no secret to my blog! People have asked me if I will have more kids because of how awful the past pregnancy was, and frankly - of course I want more! I know we are planning to adopt a child but on the other side of the coin, I canNOT imagine not birthing at least one more child...and we will definetly still go forward with the adoption - so I guess my childhood dream of a family of 4 is pretty much set in stone lol..

So back to my 'having control' comment - basically as a planner, I like to be able to say when  I will have my kids, so after Carter turns 1 and we're on the magical 'list', we will prevent from having one on our own until Carter turns 2...if we have not been placed with a child by that time then likely we will start trying for a 3rd (and honestly, likely my last "planned" child) and then we'll just push back the adoption. Of course alot of prayer will go into it when that time comes but that's my "plan". It's near impossible for me to just sit back and not have my life planned out - if things change that's fine, my plans will change, but that's just my personality!

Now, side note: adoption - as of recent i've definetly had ....butterflies(?) in my stomach about the whole situation! I think it's just my over-thinking mind wondering about...everything! As Carter's birthday comes nearer I will definetly have to sit back and really pray and talk to my Heavenly Father about some positive reminders as to why we're doing this - I know from my past experiences that this is what we're to do, and I'm sure these butterflies are Satan's way of trying to stop H.F's plan from moving forward so i'm constantly reminding myself of that. Otherwise i'm usually pretty excited about the whole process!

weight loss frusterations..

I am my biggest challenge. I have this HORENDOUS sweet tooth that I haven't had to deal with since high school and I have no idea how to get a grasp on it. Honestly, being home full time is probably one of my biggest challenges however I will never change that just so I can lose a couple of pounds lol.

I have found though that I am just completely stuck at my current weight. I neither go up or down regardless how well I eat, or how well I don'tn eat. My naturopath suggested that multiple pregnancies can really screw up ones thyroid and that I should get it checked just to see. I don't really think that's it.. I think that my first comment of this paragraph is incorrect and my weight WOULD go down if I were able to eliminate all sweets from my diet on a continual basis. But this time around I am having a hard time doing that. Like, I start to actually salivate when I see something super yummy that I want to taste or try. And we are social people and are invited and go to many events that always have an array of goodies to try and avoid, and I never can!

I'm frusterated with myself and just don't know how to cut these last few sweets out.. thankfully I don't go completely crazy, but I know from my past experiences that I need to eliminate even the tiny tastes to get results, just for some reason I can't getmy mind and body to cooperate. -sigh-

My next thing is going to be find a personal trainer, which was my plan right after Carter was born, but the selection in Cochrane is realy small - like non existance. I found a potential/affordable one that i'm hoping to work with once a week, and then get back into Zumba once a week and hopefully that will motivate my eating habits to match my exercise habits.

signed, REALLY frusterated Kyla.

12 weeks old

So Carter is 12 weeks old as of this past Friday (so this coming Friday he's exactly 3 months old). We took him for his first set of vaccinations, and he cried something fierce! He cried all the way until he was latched on to me and then mumbled a few moments before finally settling. Otherwise he seems unharmed from the vaccinations. Today and yesterday he was a little 'off' but him being a little off is still not anywhere near where Logan was on a good day! lol.

I never really thought Logan to be a hard baby - I mean, I always admitted and will always stand by the fact that he was and is a cruddy sleeper, but he was a really hard baby in comparison to Carter! I am just blown away - I still sit back and think that i'm doing something wrong when Carter just hangs out on the floor or in his chair or swing without fussing - for like an entire hour! Or, the fact that he sleeps REALLY well! It's just amazing to me how different babies can be.

Now, similarities! Physically you can be the judge by the below pictures, but my boys definetly look like relatives I think. And Carter weighed in at 16lb 3oz, 25.5" long on his 12 week date. Logan on his 13 week date weighed 16lb 1oz, 25.5" long. Basically the same! lol... awesome huh?

Logan was really sick in this photo BUT it's a recent brothers shot lol

Me and my little Carter - what a joy he is.

My boys and I - I LOVE them

Carter 12 weeks old

Logan 12 weeks old

Life really is amazing for us right now. I have an amazing husband, and two amazing sons. I wouldn't want things any different. (well, I wouldn't mind losing my last 10lbs but that's a whole other blog)

Zumba

I'm in love with Zumba class! I don't typically jump on the popular bandwagons, but after trying Zumba classes the past 2-3 weeks, I have decided that I just love it :) ...maybe I secretly like the slighty more "spicy" way I get to move my body? I think it's fun and kinda makes me feel like Zumba is supposed to make you feel - a little bit sexy!

I tried two different classes in town. The instructor at the fitness center runs Tues/Wed 7:00pm classes for an hour. Then at the rec center they have classes almost every day starting at 6:00pm for an hour. I have been to most of classes at the fitness centre, but did go to the rec centre to check out their instructor and frankly she was just not near as fun and entertaining as the other! So my preference is to go T/W and then when I can make it I use the rec center as a back up.

The deciding factor is at 5/5:30 I see where Carter is as far as his feeding schedule goes. That determines which class I get to attend, and I try hard to make it work for the 7:00 class even though that's harder for Logan's bedtime schedule (if Carter's fussing Michael can't put Logan to bed until I get home at 8:10 - which isn't the end of the world, but just one of those risks).

on another note! I weighed myself this morning and I am definetly down :D I have had a VERY hard time getting a handle of my food intake Carter's whole pregnancy (thus the extra weight I gained) and even since. The past week and a half-ish I have been very good at counting my calories and resisting those cravings that I have been feeling. My end goal is to be able to get into my bathing suit bottoms before February when we go to Disneyland. Thanks to my friend Nikki I have been able to text or email her when I get those food cravings and I have been able to commit to her my goals (most days) for the day.
Its been very interesting. At certain points of the day (specifically from like 2-4pm) I just am thrown into this "starving" feeling despite the fact I just ate lunch like 2 hours earlier. It's to the point where I even start to like salivate and just want to eat anything and everything. That time of day has been and is the hardest part of the day for me. If I can go out or do some specific activity around that time I try to but that's typically when we aren't on the go and realistically I can't leave my house every day just because I don't want to eat. I'm not sure how to really deal with it so any ideas/suggestions would be appreciated!! (and no I can't have a small snack - that actually makes me feel hungrier because it's not satisfying enough). I think I need a body balance!!!