Just need to vent about weight loss

It's no secret that I want to lose a bit of weight and it's not secret my body does not make it easy on me. My most recent frustration is that I have spent the last month being very strict (because I specifically joined a weight loss challenge group) and I have lost basically nothing. The first week I dropped 3 lbs (but I consider that my flux weight - I was at the top of my flux weight before the challenge started), and I have gained back 2 of the 3 lbs as of this morning, almost 4 weeks later.

I am REALLY irritated. I have been careful not to exercise too much because I put myself on a 1250 cal diet - so my exercise was an occasional run or a zumba class or a Barre class - I even tried YOGA out (and I despise yoga!) lol.

I am seriously considering liposuction on my buttocks area because that's the area that my WHOLE LIFE I have tried to shrink down with no success.

Anyways I feel extremely deflated. In the past 6-9 months I have done everything from a suggestion a friend made that I wasn't eating enough calories so I ate a 1800 calorie diet for about 2 months. I never gained nor lost and it brought about SERIOUS craving issues for me which I have spent most of my life trying to overcome - there were days I had to sit back and force myself not to engorge on food after already eating at least 1800 cals already for the day. Everyone's experiences are different and my experience is that I want food. ALL. THE. TIME. I eat a meal and am never full. I have taught myself to stop eating - I am never satisfied. I have taught myself and feel most sane around the 12-1400 cal mark because I get enough fuel to be ok, and then if I do indulge on anything its not shooting me up into weight-gain.

I have done cleanses, I have done/do healthy eating, I exercise, I meditate, I do energy work. It's just all so deflating like I mentioned earlier.

NOW for the positive: Yes I whined above but sometimes you can't help how you feel. Let me tell you though that I actually like my body. Just because I have a dream of where I want it, doesn't mean I hate my current body. I have my trouble areas but I love my body shape! I am very lucky that I have elastic skin and have little stretch marks (they are white and hard to see), I am grateful that I am health conscious and that I'm teaching my children how to be healthy as well. I am grateful I can run and exercise without pain or discomfort.

There's always something to be grateful for, and I haven't given up... I just feel annoyed today :)