Reading

I am writing this blog to kind of unravel my thoughts on paper and maybe get even more insight to my recent epiphany/realization about myself. When it comes to reading I am a very quick reader - like I can finish 150-200 page novel in an hour/hour and a half (depending on distractions and how interesting the book is). I'm not trying to brag, just trying to lay the facts as I delve deeper into my thoughts.

Side note: why and where did my speed reading abilities root? Well the earliest memory is when I was about 5 years old, maybe 6 or 7 ish, my dad took speed reading classes and I remember that I learned to read around the age of 5 (I had an older brother learning so I wanted to as well - Ben is 19 months older than I)...anyways, I specifically remember sitting in church and while the congregation was singing a Hymn, I would 'race' my dad reading the verses. How? I would tell my dad when to start and we'd both start reading, then as soon as I was done the verse i'd announce it to him - of course asking if I had beat him, and most of the time he let me win i'm sure lol, but it was beautiful moments we shared together. After that I just wanted to read fast like my dad I guess. Then I remember once I started school and into grades where the teacher would tell us to read something, then put our heads down when we were done, or something like that - I always wanted to be first. Whether it was to feel accepted or whether it was I wanted to feel 'smart' because I could read fast I couldn't really tell you (it wasn't intentional). That was about grade 4 that we started doing textbook work I would say, which is also when I moved into a new school, town, and new classmates.

Anyways, i'll tell you my realization, I don't know how to thoroughly read. When I read, I skim read. When it's a book or story that truly entertains me, I still skim read just a little less than if it were something that didn't 100% interest me. I can tell you everything that happens in the book because I have read it just in a different way than many others do.

But this explains so much to me! For instance:
1. School: I was never a great student academically - I passed many of my classes with a passing grade. I never really understood that because I felt like, and still feel like i'm quite intelligent, but in school I could never excel. Thinking back on it, the work I did best on was when teachers didn't do much more than copy a sentence out of the textbook and you had to find the rest of the answer. You know the ones, you find the key words and the answer is right there. But if I had to thoroughly read something and understand it and interrpret it - I never did well. I would have a basic understanding but I didn't know -how- to read it deeper.
2. The Scriptures: I am presently delving into reading the Old Testament cover to cover - something i've never accomplished in my life. Holy Smokes! I am strugging SO hard. I can't stay focused on one word after another. I sit there reading and next thing you know i'm to the next page but haven't 'read' anything! So i'll go back and force everyword into my mind and will have gotten even less than when I read it the first time - in fact reading word for word breaks it down too slowly that my brain physically can't internalize it.
3. Bowen: I absolutely love everything to do with Bowen and want to learn more, more, more! I sit and read my notes, my textbooks, and I truly can't read it word for word, I have to read it skim reading 3 or 4 times to get as much as I can out of it, but cannot go deeper or slower than that. I am terrified because I have to take an anatomy course, and they offer one via online learning, which is potentially good for me - but it requires straight reading! Not only just reading, but reading ANATOMY...I need classroom teaching, but at this point that's not feasable for my lifestyle to take a class that way. I'm nervous..

I just had another epiphany/realization. This reading problem likely is why I struggle with testing! Most multiple choice questions you have to truly read it, understand it, internalize it, then read the 4 option answers and THEN choose the 'best' answer. Hello! That isn't how my mind works.. no wonder I barely passed my high school classes, and no wonder I passed my college courses with a barely passing grade!

Anyways, so of course I can read and of course I am intelligent, but this is just some new information that I have learned about myself that may just help me (I'm not sure how yet) with my future learning - and my future teaching of my children.

The reason I started thinking about this is because when my father-in-law was here he mentioned how quickly he read, and I mentioned out of the blue that it's really a curse because if he's like me, I read a book in a night and then have nothing else to read! Then it's harder to find things to read because you've 'read everything' so to speak. So the curse is really deeper then that and i'm glad to have at least recognized it at this point in time.