Finally!

Well i finished the cleanse and kept on with keeping junk food (including processed sugar and flour/wheat) away. The junkiest food ive eaten is french fries - twice  over 3 weeks time. Combined with my regular exercise (5-7 times per week) and eating roughly 1300-1500 cals per day, i am down 6.5lbs already.

I have found my willpower and motivation and i feel great! (Aside from the headache issue lol) ...ive overcome some moments where id typically have eaten such and such or had a drink of pop, etc, and I have been able to pass it by.

Its taken years but im happy to be at this point....im hoping to be able to look back at this post for support and future motivation that it is doable!

Spartan race

So in august I have chosen to run the spartan 5km race. Its a race that includes challenging obstacles through out. My good friend and neighbor is also going to do the same race (plus some other people I know). Its going to be challenging but fun!

Anyways I have decided that there will need to be some training involved in order to do this race. My same friend/neighbor and I belong to the same rec center and we do workout videos together,  since deciding to do this race we have increased our workout regime together - I love having a motivating buddy to work with and its an equal drive (I've worked with people who werent in it as much as me and always fizzled out). Anyways...we have been working out together awhile but now I am able to combine good food choices and working out and hope to see results in my own body with my training for this race.

I just finished the wild rose cleanse and I feel great! I qas off processed sugar and most fruits and all wheat/flour for 12 days and I'm hoping to push thru as long as I can without Indulging in junk!

I've started using my fitness pal to do some tracking and ive got a network of friends on that too :-)

This is the year! I figured since I don't plan to be pregnant for at least awhile (I'd like to give my body a few months break) then I'm going to get into shape! My goal is 20 - 25 lbs and firm up in certain areas :-) and I want to be able to run 5km on thr track in 30 mins and outside in 45. 

Headaches

Wow I'm a blog roll! So I believe I mentioned in a past blog about my headache pre-miscarriage that was mainly illeviated after returning meat to my diet. Anyways about 6-8 weeks ago (I don't have exact dates) I started to have a headache and I'm talking a daily on going never stopping mild headache that excelerates with activity, etc.  I figured it was pregnancy related and then vegetarian related and then miscarriage related...which all played a part I'm sure!

Well, the miscarriage has since finished and here I am still with a headache.  I wss beginning to think maybe it was chemical linked cuz michael has been having a migraine almost once a week...which is a fairly new development as well.

Wendy my blood reader lady was here two days ago (Monday) and I expressed all of my thoughts going into my reading...and side story: my blood was all "muddled" and all my lymphocytes were out on patrol "fighting" off a cold I had (which I didnt know was bad until the end of the day!) And thus my live blood was not too useful in seeing chemicals and such....so on the dry analysis she said my neck was in bad shape - which I found funny cuz my neck feels just fine and normal. Anyways, we concluded that I would go get a massage and a chiro adjustment to see if this neck problem was linked to my headaches.

I called my neighbor who is a masseuse and she saw me that night and per usual my shoulders and upper back were tight and tense and then she got to my neck and it was definelty tender (always is tho). And then she held at the base of the skull - the sub occipital or occipital, can't remember - and they HURT something fierce! She said that was almost always where you hurt if you have whiplash. I said nothing comes to mind and she asked if I'd taken any falls. ..and that was when the lihht went on. About 6-8 weeks ago I slipped down my stairs almost top to bottom! My neck had hurt briefly but it felt fine within the hour so I thought nothing of it!

Today (wednesday) I went to the chiro and my c1&c2 were def in rough shape. After my adjustment I trult felt like i was floating! Instant (but not yet 100%) relief. I was even a little woozy walking to the van. 

It was just fascinating to me how I came to ny conclusion.  So now I'm treating as I'd I have whiplash - heat and ice. I will see my neighbor and chiropractor one more time and hope that cleans it all up for me :-)

the highly sensative child

My mom gave me a book for christmas called the Highly Sensative Child by Elaine Aron she gave me this book because I have "concerns" regardinf some of logans behaviors. Some of those things involve: sensative to noise, sensative to smell, sensative to overstimulation, picky eating, fear of failing (to the point of unwilling o even try)....and so on. Some of the specific events include I have enrolled him in a variety of sport classes and long story shortwe have been asked to leave/not come back from multiple places because he just could t participare in a new event - completly afraid of failing and other issues.

Other things: he is sensative to color (those who know logan know that he requres the color green for everything, he's sensative to peooles feelings, he is actually really well behaved because he doesn't want to fail and he doesn't want to feel ashamed, etc.

The one activity I have him enrolled in is music - its the only avtivity he will do and I think its because music is very expressive and 'emotional'.

Anyways, this book has really helped me in a lot of ways. Firstly helping me know that he has a -trait- and was not trained this way. I felt like maybe it was "my fault" because of how he was as a baby and how we dealt with thise issues....but its proof to me more than ever if his highly sensative trait he was born with and that we more than ever did the best thibg fir him by cosleeping and not forcing detachment between him and I, etc. Again, it is a great book because I see how common his personality type is and some pointers for helping raise a confident and strong/man.

Wi th that...I'm blogging from my phone so I'm ending this now :-) but stay tuned for more on my findings!

our summer bucket list for 2014

I know its early but I want to get this list in writing - it will take time to prepare and schedule  some of these things. And its ok to repeat any if these thru the year - just want to do them all at least once!

-go to the zoo
-go to the glenmore spray park
-go to Riley spray park
-go to Airdrie spray park
-go to Bowness park
-walk along the river
-wade and catch minnows in Jumping Pound creek
-go to the military museum
-go to the telus spark in the fall
-make a volcano
-have a scavenger hunt - nature and ABC one
-organize a group bike ride
-slip and slide party and picnic
-have an fhe art show
-play bocche
-play baseball and soccer in the fields
-sponge tag or at least sponge outside
-go on a walk with binocculars
-learn a magic trick
-visit the fire station in the fall
-build toothpick and marshmellow structures
-draw our neighborhood and go on a teeasure hunt
-write and mail letters to grandparents
-a letter a day (aBCs)
-tin can telephones
-pine cone or milk jug birdhouses
-gardening

Craft Ideas
-paint a picture with lemon juice and play in the sunshine to see what hapoens
-sand art
-make bookmark
-sock puppets
-paint rocks
-homemade instruments
-make moon dough
-nature rubbings
-make a paperchain
-family mailboxes

Miscarriage #5

Yup, it's true. Lucky me right?

I wanted to blog about this one because it really has struck a different cord for me. I have been 'indifferent' about all of my past miscarriages but this one really hurts, and that surprises me a bit.

Here's the major differences: we tried 9 months for this one (while past ones have been 1-2 months of 'trying'), I actually felt pregnant (which I learned is from something else that i'll explain later), and my best friend is due the day before I was, and I was due on my anniversary (which was kind of a neat idea, not that I wanted to share my special date but I liked the idea at the same time).

The 'feeling pregnant': from about weeks 5-8 I felt exhausted, nauseated, irritable, and headaches. Around week 7 I had a steak cuz I had a pounding headache, and it immediately stopped my headache. Then the day I had my ultrasound (at 8 weeks) and found out that there was no heartbeat and the baby measured small - thus a m/c I was like 'well why am I still feeling all of these things'? And even tho I didnt' want to give up vegetarianism cuz i've just been doing it for over 3 months now, I decided to add one portion of meat to my day. Three days later ALL of my symptoms were gone. Basically I just hadn't put two and two together and my body just couldn't do pregnancy, then miscarriage and vegetarianism all at once. I have read many vegetarians actually eat meat during their pregnancies cuz they feel better doing so. So I was self inflicting my 'symptoms' LOL. oh well, live and learn! Actually... I did -live and learn- ...now I can use that experience and knowledge down the road for myself and future clients.

Anyways, the story: as I said, went for my standard 8 week u/s and the ultrasound tech was awful. She didn't let me see the screen once (I have done this alot, that never happens), was uninformative and didn't say a word to me, was curt and cold. I actually had to ask -her- at the end, after she suggested I come back in 10 days, why. She said the baby was measuring small. I then asked if there was a heart beat - which there was not. And since I have 28 day periods on the DOT, I knew it was done. And now, this whole week for about an hour a day I have mild mild spotting - nothing more tho, which has me concerned. I have always passed my m/c no problem, so i'm really nervous and stressed that I will require a d&c...which I know I cannot handle (will require being put under). Sigh. I'm just sad and frusterated. And then I don't konw how I feel yet about 'trying again'. Realistically it'll take 2 months minimum for everything to get 'back to normal' - maybe longer. So to have a baby this calendar year is seemingly unrealistic. It could happen but i'm not sure i'm even ready to try. I'm so sick of the act of trying...I hated it being a chore, and I don't know that I want to live like that.

And that brings me back to our ideas of adoption and/or fostering. It was apparent to me years ago when we went through it that it was something we should do, but then things haven't gone to plan and finances certainly aren't allowing us to do so at this time either. So... I'm just trying to live my life and pay of debts and hope that I feel some comfort soon. I think that's what i'm missing...comfort. I don't know what to do with my thoughts. A temple visit and some serious prayer is in order...

So, I feel like i've 'mourned' but I feel different this time around. -shrug-

Okay! And I wrote the above part of the blog on TUESDAY the 14th, and as of Wednesday night 9pm the miscarriage started! I know it sounds weird, but I found some much joy and closure in this very act! I am now just in the period mode essentially for the next few days. I already feel so much better :) And even the idea of trying again isn't so scary to me - crazy how 'closure' can just flip you right around huh? :) Doing much better already!

I am a hippy

So...I was going to post this on facebook, but I decided my blog was a better place for it.

So I am kind of a hippy! Why? Let me tell you:

1. I plan to homeschool my kids. Yup, I plan to do that and if ANYONE tells me that my kids will not be educated as well as a public school child, then they are ignorant and stupid themselves. (There may be some heat behind my comment but I am so IRRITATED by someone who recently attacked me for no good reason because I'm choosing to homeschool.

2. Now that I have experienced midwives and homebirths, all of my children (whether that be 1 or 2 more) will be birthed at home (should things allow for it of course)

3. I am into natural healing and bowen and blood reading. Yup, I like holistic health. I am almost a holistic nutritionist (hopefully diploma in hand by end of February!). For the record, I am EDUCATED in the field, so do not try and act as though you are smarter than me and know more about me. I am in it for learning, and if you are able to teach me something, great! If you are just trying to be smarter than me because you think you are 'above me' then bugger off :) (again, there's some heat there, a completely unrelated situation - it's just been a luck week for me haha)

4. I am a vegetarian. I love everything about it! I love the challenge it gives me trying to 'master' it. I am learning SO much with this experiment and I wouldn't change that for anything. Recently we have started going more whole foods in our home. I rarely buy in the middle section of the grocery store. I don't buy my kids fruit snacks. The most processed food they get are yogurt tubes (cuz I freeze them and they're frozen yogurts lol). I don't even buy canned beans anymore, I soak them. Things like that and I feel great! I am overweight still, but that's just part of my challenge I am working through.

5. I am anti-technology. We don't play video games or watch more than 90 minutes of TV a day and we don't own a tablet or ipad, etc. And when we do - it will be strictly for work/school. I will eventually let my kids experience those things because it's part of the world (i'm not stupid), but children do not need to know how to operate some of these things before their 5th birthdays. It's the 'hippy' in me. I don't stop my kids from sitting on grandpa's lap and playing a game with him, minimal exposure isn't what i'm talking about here. I see and have seen too many people consumed with technology, my kids (and me and michael) will know how to play and use our imaginations.

I say all of this because it's what I believe. I am not saying it's the perfect way or the right way, but it it what works in our family and what we will do. Do what you believe is best. I will do my best not to judge you, if you promise to do me the same courtesy.