This blog is a venting of my frusterations with Michael's work. (so long positive blogging LOL)
Michael texted me this morning stating he might have to work this weekend away in Edmonton. This weekend we have a birthday party, Carter's actual birthday, michael's parents are coming to visit and the Cochrane parade. Basically, not a weekend to go away for work. He told his employer this and he wasn't impressed with Michael but somehow they found an alternative (I don't exactly have a communicative husband so parts of the story could be missing all along the way)
Anyways, Michael has been really frusterated with his job the past month or two...and I have pushed strongly that he needs to stay with this company for multiple years mostly for his resume purposes - people like to see 'long term' dedication. He is coming up 2 years end of September, and I really want to see him stay 2-3 more years. However! This was really frusterating to me...I feel like Ive gone all 'mama bear' because now they're making him -feel- bad for not wanting to work a weekend of great importance to us.
That made me think back to what has been frusterating to Michael. Basically this past month Michael has worked 6-6 every single day - they wanted him to work more but he outright refused because 1. Michael burns out really quickly and 2. He wants to see his family! Most of the problems we've had with this company are related to them wanting to make him work ridiculous hours or random weekends out of the blue (he hasn't been sent out of town in probably a 10 months or longer!)...and most of them go right down to being a conflict with our family. Michael has no desire to live to work, but rather work to live. AND schedule/consistency are important to Michael. He hates being told randomly 'by the way you have to stay till this truck is done' which could take to midnight, and then be expected to be back to work by 7.
Maybe PNR isn't the place for him to be...he expressed he was a family man when he first was interviewed so I don't know if either they're trying to get him to leave or if they are just that inconsiderate? Really they need another mechanic but haven't hired anyone, which shouldn't be punishment for Michael.
Anyways, company just arrived so I'll just end my rant with me being unsure what life will bring!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Positive post
My last few posts have been fairly negative as i've let off steam or just expressed opinions that I didn't know where else to express - so now for some happy thoughts!
1. I started reading my friend Mindy's blog...she's just a lovely writer and a great friend, I enjoy her spirit and energy and look forward to reading more about her experiences over the years to come
2. I am grateful for my family. I have two outstanding little boys, and a wonderful husband who in his own way does so much good for me and our family, whether I express it enough to him and to others.
3. We celebrated our FIFTH anniversary on the 18th. Michael sent me flowers (he was away on a stake father/son camp) - it was a wonderful surprise to find a big bouquet on my doorstep! Then when they got home we left the boys with a babysitter and went quaddng. This is significant to me because a)Michael and I spent alot of our dating/engagment/first year married doing various quadding trips 3-5 times a year, b) Michael actually proposed to me on a quadding trip, and c) we incorporated the machines into some of our wedding photos. It seemed a suited activity for a 5th Anniversary! I'm actually hoping that for our TENTH we might be in a position to maybe buy our own. In 5 years I plan to be done birthing children, so pregnancy and infants wouldn't hold us back from being able to go out - especially living in Cochrane, there's SO many places to enjoy the activity.
4. I am grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have felt "inactive" as of recent. I mingle with the ladies and such, but because of naptime and other circumstances I have only been to Fast and Testimony Sacrament Meeting the whole Month of August and only got to church in July like one or two times. Summer is hard because we did a lot of camping and travelling, or like last week, Michael was in urgent care, etc, etc. Anyways, it really drags a person down to miss so much church, it truly is a spiritual energizer! However, since we're moving to 9am church for the next few months while the temple is being built, I will actually be able to attend at minimum, sacrament meeting :) I'm super pumped about it!
5. I am GRATEFUL Carter loves to sleep. He naps 3-5 hours a day, and he sleeps 11-12 hours a night with typically one wake up (which hopefully will phase out soon too, but I won't push it yet).
6. I love summer (despite how hot my house gets if I forget to close the blinds!) - I am excited for Fall
7. My garden is doing really well considering I didn't know how it would turn out (I didn't really prepare the soil, I just planted in what was there). I LOVE our dinners - fresh peas, fresh carrots, fresh potatoes! My beans didn't grow...but my lettuce did - I learned I didn't like the lettuce I chose to plant, and will look for romaine to do next year. I am curious to see if my squash grew :) and we did onions as well (just for mention sake). Learned so much for next year!
8. I am grateful that we can pay our bills each month. I am even more grateful that I have skills to assist in making some money.
9. I am grateful for friendships :) Cochrane has provided me with so many!
10. I don't know what to put here but it seemed fitting to put a #10. lol. I know! I am grateful that my 'depressed' feelings have subsided and have been subsided for a few weeks. I feel more upbeat and more rested and more energetic and more up to the challenge of everything life throws my way!
1. I started reading my friend Mindy's blog...she's just a lovely writer and a great friend, I enjoy her spirit and energy and look forward to reading more about her experiences over the years to come
2. I am grateful for my family. I have two outstanding little boys, and a wonderful husband who in his own way does so much good for me and our family, whether I express it enough to him and to others.
3. We celebrated our FIFTH anniversary on the 18th. Michael sent me flowers (he was away on a stake father/son camp) - it was a wonderful surprise to find a big bouquet on my doorstep! Then when they got home we left the boys with a babysitter and went quaddng. This is significant to me because a)Michael and I spent alot of our dating/engagment/first year married doing various quadding trips 3-5 times a year, b) Michael actually proposed to me on a quadding trip, and c) we incorporated the machines into some of our wedding photos. It seemed a suited activity for a 5th Anniversary! I'm actually hoping that for our TENTH we might be in a position to maybe buy our own. In 5 years I plan to be done birthing children, so pregnancy and infants wouldn't hold us back from being able to go out - especially living in Cochrane, there's SO many places to enjoy the activity.
4. I am grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have felt "inactive" as of recent. I mingle with the ladies and such, but because of naptime and other circumstances I have only been to Fast and Testimony Sacrament Meeting the whole Month of August and only got to church in July like one or two times. Summer is hard because we did a lot of camping and travelling, or like last week, Michael was in urgent care, etc, etc. Anyways, it really drags a person down to miss so much church, it truly is a spiritual energizer! However, since we're moving to 9am church for the next few months while the temple is being built, I will actually be able to attend at minimum, sacrament meeting :) I'm super pumped about it!
5. I am GRATEFUL Carter loves to sleep. He naps 3-5 hours a day, and he sleeps 11-12 hours a night with typically one wake up (which hopefully will phase out soon too, but I won't push it yet).
6. I love summer (despite how hot my house gets if I forget to close the blinds!) - I am excited for Fall
7. My garden is doing really well considering I didn't know how it would turn out (I didn't really prepare the soil, I just planted in what was there). I LOVE our dinners - fresh peas, fresh carrots, fresh potatoes! My beans didn't grow...but my lettuce did - I learned I didn't like the lettuce I chose to plant, and will look for romaine to do next year. I am curious to see if my squash grew :) and we did onions as well (just for mention sake). Learned so much for next year!
8. I am grateful that we can pay our bills each month. I am even more grateful that I have skills to assist in making some money.
9. I am grateful for friendships :) Cochrane has provided me with so many!
10. I don't know what to put here but it seemed fitting to put a #10. lol. I know! I am grateful that my 'depressed' feelings have subsided and have been subsided for a few weeks. I feel more upbeat and more rested and more energetic and more up to the challenge of everything life throws my way!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Hunger Games - my honest opinions
I have many disconnected thoughts about this movie. Do NOT read this blog if you don't want to hear my deepest and most honest opinions regarding my distaste of this movie - which will offend or confuse some. I haven't read the books, and generally books are more detailed and more explanatory as to things. The start of the movie was extremely confusing and I didn't enjoy not having a clue what was going on. I didn't even finish the movie I was so disappointed and appalled by it. Here are some of my disjointed thoughts:
1. Some books should NOT be made into movies. This is one of them. Any book based on the murdering and killing of CHILDREN is not good entertainment.
2. Upon expressing my above opinion I was told that the book is "based on historic events". Ya, i'm sure this movie was based on history. -sarcasm-. I'm sure there was a fenced off game where they purposefully keep you in, injuring you in the process to do so (the forest fire scene) with MECHANICAL props and computerized contraptions, etc. This book may have a deep deep DEEP underlying link to our "history" but frankly it's too theatrical and too modernized to be a good argument in this case.
3. A friend said we do this already in our current day and age. Ex: Survivor. I couldn't agree more (in a way more tame and less drastic form of the game.) Thank goodness I can say I am NOT a Survivor fan, and not a fan of -most- reality TV shows. (I watch Top Model :) ).
4. I can't stress how appalled I was by this movie and how sick and twisted it is.
5. I am OUTRAGED that this movie is directed to teens and young adult age group.
6. I am OUTRAGED that this movie is only rated PG13. Frankly I think this movie deserves an 18A rating.
7. I am shocked that so many people I know condone and enjoyed this movie that I thought to be on the same wave length as I as far as movie standards. Yes I am aware I have high standards for movies, but that's my choice because I have high church standards and I am pretty darn positive this movie is not something that my Heavenly Father would check off as an A.O.K movie. Yes I am not perfect and i'm sure there's things in my movie collection that could be questioned, but this movie is not EVEN a question to me and that's what shocks me about so so so so many people I know that enjoyed it.
8. I will admit that the story line was intriguing and I almost finished the movie 'just to see the ending'. (again, I might have considered reading the books at one point prior to movie - but now that i've seen movie footage i'll always envision what I have now seen and not be able to make it fit my imagination - not sure tha tmakes sense lol). Michael finished it and told me the outcome in 10 words or less (lol, come on, it's Michael here).
So, neat story idea, poor movie choice. That's my verdict.
1. Some books should NOT be made into movies. This is one of them. Any book based on the murdering and killing of CHILDREN is not good entertainment.
2. Upon expressing my above opinion I was told that the book is "based on historic events". Ya, i'm sure this movie was based on history. -sarcasm-. I'm sure there was a fenced off game where they purposefully keep you in, injuring you in the process to do so (the forest fire scene) with MECHANICAL props and computerized contraptions, etc. This book may have a deep deep DEEP underlying link to our "history" but frankly it's too theatrical and too modernized to be a good argument in this case.
3. A friend said we do this already in our current day and age. Ex: Survivor. I couldn't agree more (in a way more tame and less drastic form of the game.) Thank goodness I can say I am NOT a Survivor fan, and not a fan of -most- reality TV shows. (I watch Top Model :) ).
4. I can't stress how appalled I was by this movie and how sick and twisted it is.
5. I am OUTRAGED that this movie is directed to teens and young adult age group.
6. I am OUTRAGED that this movie is only rated PG13. Frankly I think this movie deserves an 18A rating.
7. I am shocked that so many people I know condone and enjoyed this movie that I thought to be on the same wave length as I as far as movie standards. Yes I am aware I have high standards for movies, but that's my choice because I have high church standards and I am pretty darn positive this movie is not something that my Heavenly Father would check off as an A.O.K movie. Yes I am not perfect and i'm sure there's things in my movie collection that could be questioned, but this movie is not EVEN a question to me and that's what shocks me about so so so so many people I know that enjoyed it.
8. I will admit that the story line was intriguing and I almost finished the movie 'just to see the ending'. (again, I might have considered reading the books at one point prior to movie - but now that i've seen movie footage i'll always envision what I have now seen and not be able to make it fit my imagination - not sure tha tmakes sense lol). Michael finished it and told me the outcome in 10 words or less (lol, come on, it's Michael here).
So, neat story idea, poor movie choice. That's my verdict.
fat pants
So that dreaded moment when you put on your 'fat pants' (or in my case, capris) and they are a nice fit. Sad. Sad. SAD! I can feel the weight starting to go to my lower body now, and I still can't get back into my happiest eating routine! What's taht about anyways? I know - broken record complaints from me. My blog tho :) I'm allowed.
Anyways, just a sad time...I know what I need to do and know what works for me but still can't get there. I thankfully reached a high point and haven't passed it yet - been able to maintain that high point. I have picked up working out, but still not to the level of consistency. There are NO bootcamps in town that arne't in a gym and highly outrageously priced...I prefer private, outdoor bootcamps - but no such luck.
but really, reality is I need to stop eating so much. I tracked my food intake yesterday, and when I track I tend to be able to resist those litte 'extra' snacks, and it was a 1500 calorie day! I should be at 12-1300cals. So somehow I have to keep those 'extras' at bay AND cut out approx 300 cals. Not an easy task.
I hate it when people say "well I'll start working out when..." but i'm going to do it anyways! Come September I have scheduled in more fitness classes - the reason I can't now is that the gym is in summer mode (half the classes available), so there's way more selection of classes and times starting in Sept. I AM tho working out on Tuesdays (boxing) and the occasional extra day in the week, and am slowly but not consistantly wrking out in my basement once a week (hopefully pick up to 2-3 times). New goal: go from my present 147 (yuck) down to 125. That's 22lbs! AH, goal used to be only 10-12. Can I do it? With will power...do I have that? no! :D
SIGH. I hate this battle. If only this last pregnancy hadn't been so difficult....yes that's a poor excuse but again - my blog. :)
Anyways, just a sad time...I know what I need to do and know what works for me but still can't get there. I thankfully reached a high point and haven't passed it yet - been able to maintain that high point. I have picked up working out, but still not to the level of consistency. There are NO bootcamps in town that arne't in a gym and highly outrageously priced...I prefer private, outdoor bootcamps - but no such luck.
but really, reality is I need to stop eating so much. I tracked my food intake yesterday, and when I track I tend to be able to resist those litte 'extra' snacks, and it was a 1500 calorie day! I should be at 12-1300cals. So somehow I have to keep those 'extras' at bay AND cut out approx 300 cals. Not an easy task.
I hate it when people say "well I'll start working out when..." but i'm going to do it anyways! Come September I have scheduled in more fitness classes - the reason I can't now is that the gym is in summer mode (half the classes available), so there's way more selection of classes and times starting in Sept. I AM tho working out on Tuesdays (boxing) and the occasional extra day in the week, and am slowly but not consistantly wrking out in my basement once a week (hopefully pick up to 2-3 times). New goal: go from my present 147 (yuck) down to 125. That's 22lbs! AH, goal used to be only 10-12. Can I do it? With will power...do I have that? no! :D
SIGH. I hate this battle. If only this last pregnancy hadn't been so difficult....yes that's a poor excuse but again - my blog. :)
Friday, August 17, 2012
sleep complaints
Apology at the beginning for the negative tone this blog might contain - I am just in need of a good venting!
Logan has never been a fabulous sleeper, and then in the past year we've had some really good nights and really good stretches with him, but regardless how long or how many of those 'good stretches' he has, he ALWAYS reverts back to being a really cruddy sleeper! Logan's bedtime routine is one of which he goes to bed at 7/7:30 and doesn't get up in the morning most of the time until 7 or 8am. Awesome right? Generally...|(maybe?)
Here's what happened last night: He went to bed at 7 per usual, then he woke up at 10, 1, 3, and got up at 5. Michael and I have an arrangment where he takes care of Logan and I get Carter. Michael and I have just within the past 3-4 months been able to sleep in the same room and same bed as each other since Carter's arrival - a really big deal! I have blogged about Logan before, he is the type that LIKES having another person in the room and/or bed with him. He has been like that since birth. When he wakes up at night he 50-50 as per his attitude. Half of the time he is sleep walking i'm pretty sure. How do I know? well we have followed him all the way down the stairs, watched him walk into the kitchen then turn around and head back upstairs. At some point he generally comes 'out of it' a little and then we help him back to his room. So when he is in that state we will usually just redirect him and tuck him back in and he doesn't even seem to comprehend what is happening. Other times he wakes up to pee, and other times he wakes up for a drink of water. That's 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time when he wakes he is just a monster! I say monster without knowing what other word to use. He just wakes up and just cries and cries and cries for NO reason. He is moody and emotional and upset and mad and there's nothing we can do for him that's right - we try and help, he gets more upset, we don't try and help, he gets even more upset. It's a lose-lose and it's INCREDIBLY frusterating! That happens almost EVERY night at least once. The only way we don't see this monster behavior is on nights Michael sleeps with him. Those nights he will sleep right through with only potty wake ups. Then he will throw us 1-3 nights of all the way through the night with no wake ups whatsoever without michael in his room. Its just exhausting really because it makes Michael grumpy everytime he has to wake up and it makes him grumpy because he hasnt had a good nights sleep.
Then theres Carter! He generally wakes up still once a night with a give-or-take 7pm bedtime also, and up at 6. I am desperatly wanting him to stop nursing but I am unsure how to ween him. Logan basically weened himself and by this time he was actually done. Logan just adapted to a bottle, but Carter cant have bottles - he just chews the nipples to pieces (you can imagine why I want to stop nursing huh). But really, he is 1 in 2 weeks and doesnt need to be waking at all anymore unless in distress. however, that being said, I can handle one nightime wake up, Carters problems are presently in the daytime. He is going through this hugely clingy, hugely whiny phase and that is just exhausting! I cant put him down ever and if he does he just cries and cries and cries and tugs at my legs until I pick him up...or I have to be on the floor with him (and as longas the timing is right he will play) - this is his behavior at least 50% of the time he is awake in a day.
BUT on top of it all, for SOME reason I am just unable to sleep at night! I toss and turn and toss and turn. I try and relax and my back starts to hurt, or something starts to ache, or my mystery itch (yup, still part of my life) flares up, or one of the boys wakes up, or my pillows are too firm or too fluffy or Im too hot or too cold. Its beyond ridiculous! I just dont even know where to begin!
Okay, i think thats enough venting for the day :)
Signed,
One tired momma!
Logan has never been a fabulous sleeper, and then in the past year we've had some really good nights and really good stretches with him, but regardless how long or how many of those 'good stretches' he has, he ALWAYS reverts back to being a really cruddy sleeper! Logan's bedtime routine is one of which he goes to bed at 7/7:30 and doesn't get up in the morning most of the time until 7 or 8am. Awesome right? Generally...|(maybe?)
Here's what happened last night: He went to bed at 7 per usual, then he woke up at 10, 1, 3, and got up at 5. Michael and I have an arrangment where he takes care of Logan and I get Carter. Michael and I have just within the past 3-4 months been able to sleep in the same room and same bed as each other since Carter's arrival - a really big deal! I have blogged about Logan before, he is the type that LIKES having another person in the room and/or bed with him. He has been like that since birth. When he wakes up at night he 50-50 as per his attitude. Half of the time he is sleep walking i'm pretty sure. How do I know? well we have followed him all the way down the stairs, watched him walk into the kitchen then turn around and head back upstairs. At some point he generally comes 'out of it' a little and then we help him back to his room. So when he is in that state we will usually just redirect him and tuck him back in and he doesn't even seem to comprehend what is happening. Other times he wakes up to pee, and other times he wakes up for a drink of water. That's 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time when he wakes he is just a monster! I say monster without knowing what other word to use. He just wakes up and just cries and cries and cries for NO reason. He is moody and emotional and upset and mad and there's nothing we can do for him that's right - we try and help, he gets more upset, we don't try and help, he gets even more upset. It's a lose-lose and it's INCREDIBLY frusterating! That happens almost EVERY night at least once. The only way we don't see this monster behavior is on nights Michael sleeps with him. Those nights he will sleep right through with only potty wake ups. Then he will throw us 1-3 nights of all the way through the night with no wake ups whatsoever without michael in his room. Its just exhausting really because it makes Michael grumpy everytime he has to wake up and it makes him grumpy because he hasnt had a good nights sleep.
Then theres Carter! He generally wakes up still once a night with a give-or-take 7pm bedtime also, and up at 6. I am desperatly wanting him to stop nursing but I am unsure how to ween him. Logan basically weened himself and by this time he was actually done. Logan just adapted to a bottle, but Carter cant have bottles - he just chews the nipples to pieces (you can imagine why I want to stop nursing huh). But really, he is 1 in 2 weeks and doesnt need to be waking at all anymore unless in distress. however, that being said, I can handle one nightime wake up, Carters problems are presently in the daytime. He is going through this hugely clingy, hugely whiny phase and that is just exhausting! I cant put him down ever and if he does he just cries and cries and cries and tugs at my legs until I pick him up...or I have to be on the floor with him (and as longas the timing is right he will play) - this is his behavior at least 50% of the time he is awake in a day.
BUT on top of it all, for SOME reason I am just unable to sleep at night! I toss and turn and toss and turn. I try and relax and my back starts to hurt, or something starts to ache, or my mystery itch (yup, still part of my life) flares up, or one of the boys wakes up, or my pillows are too firm or too fluffy or Im too hot or too cold. Its beyond ridiculous! I just dont even know where to begin!
Okay, i think thats enough venting for the day :)
Signed,
One tired momma!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Catch up blog - some TMI details, be warned
okay, so much to say, so little time!
1. Family Reunion long weekend was a total blast!
2. Logan and Carter took time adapting back into schedule after it...then logan ended up with a cold aout 4-5 days later
3. I picked up a cold, which then led (or is completely unconnected) to an infection on my ermm..boob. yup, at first i thought I had a plugged duct or mastitus, but it was a topical infection which meant I couldn't nurse as it was right in the...suck zone? (lol) It was excruciating. So I got an antibiotic, and 24 hours later I managed to break the infection (physically) and another 12 hours Carter was nursing on that side again. However it still is pretty tender. In the meantime I did get a plugged duct (which I thought the engorged feeling was part of the infection but end of the 12 hours and a few pumps and then carter nursing I realized one of my glands was NOT releasing milk. I got into the shower, massaged it and fiddled around in the...area...lol and unplugged the duct and sat for what felt like forever while it emptied. Wow - so much relief from something so small! The body is fascinating!
4. in the process of trying to figure out what activites to put Logan in, and what not to. The million dollar debate! I think I've finally chosen the MYC (Music forYoung Children) and Skating lessons. Then in the winter (January) I think I'll enroll Logan in Playball (a program that teaches generic catching, bouncing, hitting, throwing, passing, etc with about 6-8 different sports).
5. facebook made me do timeline. I really find it confusing and annoying. Oh well, i'll adjust, just wanted to complain a bit :)
6. Haven't lost weight, havehighs and lows if I'll EVER get control over my eating.
7. Went to my first counsellin session with alberta health services (key word: free). It was basically a 'get to know you' session, and I enjoyed the guy, didn't make me feel like I was talking to a therapist too badly (sometimes he'd say 'and how dd that make you feel' lol and that just made me laugh inside). It felt good to make some goals. Sadly when I finally went to see him I was having a really good 7-10 days so I almost didn't want to go and dig up all the bad stuff lol but it didn't bring me down by any means so that's good
That's all for now! Kids are waking from naps/emerging from basement!
8. changed my mind about my back patio - going to lay stamped/colored concrete I think! Still working on details but i'm excited about the decision
1. Family Reunion long weekend was a total blast!
2. Logan and Carter took time adapting back into schedule after it...then logan ended up with a cold aout 4-5 days later
3. I picked up a cold, which then led (or is completely unconnected) to an infection on my ermm..boob. yup, at first i thought I had a plugged duct or mastitus, but it was a topical infection which meant I couldn't nurse as it was right in the...suck zone? (lol) It was excruciating. So I got an antibiotic, and 24 hours later I managed to break the infection (physically) and another 12 hours Carter was nursing on that side again. However it still is pretty tender. In the meantime I did get a plugged duct (which I thought the engorged feeling was part of the infection but end of the 12 hours and a few pumps and then carter nursing I realized one of my glands was NOT releasing milk. I got into the shower, massaged it and fiddled around in the...area...lol and unplugged the duct and sat for what felt like forever while it emptied. Wow - so much relief from something so small! The body is fascinating!
4. in the process of trying to figure out what activites to put Logan in, and what not to. The million dollar debate! I think I've finally chosen the MYC (Music forYoung Children) and Skating lessons. Then in the winter (January) I think I'll enroll Logan in Playball (a program that teaches generic catching, bouncing, hitting, throwing, passing, etc with about 6-8 different sports).
5. facebook made me do timeline. I really find it confusing and annoying. Oh well, i'll adjust, just wanted to complain a bit :)
6. Haven't lost weight, havehighs and lows if I'll EVER get control over my eating.
7. Went to my first counsellin session with alberta health services (key word: free). It was basically a 'get to know you' session, and I enjoyed the guy, didn't make me feel like I was talking to a therapist too badly (sometimes he'd say 'and how dd that make you feel' lol and that just made me laugh inside). It felt good to make some goals. Sadly when I finally went to see him I was having a really good 7-10 days so I almost didn't want to go and dig up all the bad stuff lol but it didn't bring me down by any means so that's good
That's all for now! Kids are waking from naps/emerging from basement!
8. changed my mind about my back patio - going to lay stamped/colored concrete I think! Still working on details but i'm excited about the decision
Sunday, July 22, 2012
My Bowen experience
So yesterday afternoon I went and received some Bowen - my major complaint is I have had some serious back pain in the kidney region of my back and it's been waking me/keeping me up at night, so I figured it was high time to go in. I also know that I have been harboring some anger within my body, which I without a doubt think contributed to my back pain. (Kidneys 'hold' anger, and other emotions). I told her this before hand because I knew it would come up during my session lol, basically I warned her that if I tear up it's cuz I have some emotions needing to be let go.
Anyways, my friend and collegue agreed to do a Bowen trade. I will admit I feel like I got the better end of the deal because she has her module 8 and specialized 9 while I recieved my 7 and had to put my learning on hold (baby & finances). She also has taken something called Mind-body Bowen. I cannot WAIT to learn this! she did mind-body on me.
Let me tell you, I felt things. I felt things swirling and whirling within my body, each and every move she made. I felt major pain in many of the moves that I do on others. She used a deeper technique then I'm used to and I almost cried from the pain of the depth! however, I breathed through it. Then she did a SP1 (mod 9) move on me around the scap and rhomboids...I almost started hyperventalating, then within 30 seconds after the move the tears started flowing! I was BAWLING, uncontrollable, full on, crying my eyes out, heaving with breath. holy cow... she grabbed me some tissue and sat next to the table and talked me through it. Took about 5-10 mins to let it all 'out' and then I felt like a weight had been lifted from my body. Literlaly. the moves prior to the one that brought me to tears I had expressed that I felt like my whole body was being pressed down into the massage table and I felt like a lead weight.
After I let it all out, I felt so light! And she did one more move on my kidneys, then we ended the session there. I actually felt repulsed by the idea of her doing even one more movement on my body - I was VERY done.
Today (the next day), I can make note that my back doesn't hurt -quite- as bad through the night but it's still not gone. however, Bowen can take up to 10 days to sink in, and I do still have some emotions to work through before I can probably say good bye to the physical pain. But as far as the anger goes, I felt like I had some good grip on things today. Things that would have sent me into a feeling of fury on the inside (and occasionally the outside) I felt like I could handle them.
That was my experiene :)
Anyways, my friend and collegue agreed to do a Bowen trade. I will admit I feel like I got the better end of the deal because she has her module 8 and specialized 9 while I recieved my 7 and had to put my learning on hold (baby & finances). She also has taken something called Mind-body Bowen. I cannot WAIT to learn this! she did mind-body on me.
Let me tell you, I felt things. I felt things swirling and whirling within my body, each and every move she made. I felt major pain in many of the moves that I do on others. She used a deeper technique then I'm used to and I almost cried from the pain of the depth! however, I breathed through it. Then she did a SP1 (mod 9) move on me around the scap and rhomboids...I almost started hyperventalating, then within 30 seconds after the move the tears started flowing! I was BAWLING, uncontrollable, full on, crying my eyes out, heaving with breath. holy cow... she grabbed me some tissue and sat next to the table and talked me through it. Took about 5-10 mins to let it all 'out' and then I felt like a weight had been lifted from my body. Literlaly. the moves prior to the one that brought me to tears I had expressed that I felt like my whole body was being pressed down into the massage table and I felt like a lead weight.
After I let it all out, I felt so light! And she did one more move on my kidneys, then we ended the session there. I actually felt repulsed by the idea of her doing even one more movement on my body - I was VERY done.
Today (the next day), I can make note that my back doesn't hurt -quite- as bad through the night but it's still not gone. however, Bowen can take up to 10 days to sink in, and I do still have some emotions to work through before I can probably say good bye to the physical pain. But as far as the anger goes, I felt like I had some good grip on things today. Things that would have sent me into a feeling of fury on the inside (and occasionally the outside) I felt like I could handle them.
That was my experiene :)
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