our summer bucket list for 2014

I know its early but I want to get this list in writing - it will take time to prepare and schedule  some of these things. And its ok to repeat any if these thru the year - just want to do them all at least once!

-go to the zoo
-go to the glenmore spray park
-go to Riley spray park
-go to Airdrie spray park
-go to Bowness park
-walk along the river
-wade and catch minnows in Jumping Pound creek
-go to the military museum
-go to the telus spark in the fall
-make a volcano
-have a scavenger hunt - nature and ABC one
-organize a group bike ride
-slip and slide party and picnic
-have an fhe art show
-play bocche
-play baseball and soccer in the fields
-sponge tag or at least sponge outside
-go on a walk with binocculars
-learn a magic trick
-visit the fire station in the fall
-build toothpick and marshmellow structures
-draw our neighborhood and go on a teeasure hunt
-write and mail letters to grandparents
-a letter a day (aBCs)
-tin can telephones
-pine cone or milk jug birdhouses
-gardening

Craft Ideas
-paint a picture with lemon juice and play in the sunshine to see what hapoens
-sand art
-make bookmark
-sock puppets
-paint rocks
-homemade instruments
-make moon dough
-nature rubbings
-make a paperchain
-family mailboxes

Miscarriage #5

Yup, it's true. Lucky me right?

I wanted to blog about this one because it really has struck a different cord for me. I have been 'indifferent' about all of my past miscarriages but this one really hurts, and that surprises me a bit.

Here's the major differences: we tried 9 months for this one (while past ones have been 1-2 months of 'trying'), I actually felt pregnant (which I learned is from something else that i'll explain later), and my best friend is due the day before I was, and I was due on my anniversary (which was kind of a neat idea, not that I wanted to share my special date but I liked the idea at the same time).

The 'feeling pregnant': from about weeks 5-8 I felt exhausted, nauseated, irritable, and headaches. Around week 7 I had a steak cuz I had a pounding headache, and it immediately stopped my headache. Then the day I had my ultrasound (at 8 weeks) and found out that there was no heartbeat and the baby measured small - thus a m/c I was like 'well why am I still feeling all of these things'? And even tho I didnt' want to give up vegetarianism cuz i've just been doing it for over 3 months now, I decided to add one portion of meat to my day. Three days later ALL of my symptoms were gone. Basically I just hadn't put two and two together and my body just couldn't do pregnancy, then miscarriage and vegetarianism all at once. I have read many vegetarians actually eat meat during their pregnancies cuz they feel better doing so. So I was self inflicting my 'symptoms' LOL. oh well, live and learn! Actually... I did -live and learn- ...now I can use that experience and knowledge down the road for myself and future clients.

Anyways, the story: as I said, went for my standard 8 week u/s and the ultrasound tech was awful. She didn't let me see the screen once (I have done this alot, that never happens), was uninformative and didn't say a word to me, was curt and cold. I actually had to ask -her- at the end, after she suggested I come back in 10 days, why. She said the baby was measuring small. I then asked if there was a heart beat - which there was not. And since I have 28 day periods on the DOT, I knew it was done. And now, this whole week for about an hour a day I have mild mild spotting - nothing more tho, which has me concerned. I have always passed my m/c no problem, so i'm really nervous and stressed that I will require a d&c...which I know I cannot handle (will require being put under). Sigh. I'm just sad and frusterated. And then I don't konw how I feel yet about 'trying again'. Realistically it'll take 2 months minimum for everything to get 'back to normal' - maybe longer. So to have a baby this calendar year is seemingly unrealistic. It could happen but i'm not sure i'm even ready to try. I'm so sick of the act of trying...I hated it being a chore, and I don't know that I want to live like that.

And that brings me back to our ideas of adoption and/or fostering. It was apparent to me years ago when we went through it that it was something we should do, but then things haven't gone to plan and finances certainly aren't allowing us to do so at this time either. So... I'm just trying to live my life and pay of debts and hope that I feel some comfort soon. I think that's what i'm missing...comfort. I don't know what to do with my thoughts. A temple visit and some serious prayer is in order...

So, I feel like i've 'mourned' but I feel different this time around. -shrug-

Okay! And I wrote the above part of the blog on TUESDAY the 14th, and as of Wednesday night 9pm the miscarriage started! I know it sounds weird, but I found some much joy and closure in this very act! I am now just in the period mode essentially for the next few days. I already feel so much better :) And even the idea of trying again isn't so scary to me - crazy how 'closure' can just flip you right around huh? :) Doing much better already!

I am a hippy

So...I was going to post this on facebook, but I decided my blog was a better place for it.

So I am kind of a hippy! Why? Let me tell you:

1. I plan to homeschool my kids. Yup, I plan to do that and if ANYONE tells me that my kids will not be educated as well as a public school child, then they are ignorant and stupid themselves. (There may be some heat behind my comment but I am so IRRITATED by someone who recently attacked me for no good reason because I'm choosing to homeschool.

2. Now that I have experienced midwives and homebirths, all of my children (whether that be 1 or 2 more) will be birthed at home (should things allow for it of course)

3. I am into natural healing and bowen and blood reading. Yup, I like holistic health. I am almost a holistic nutritionist (hopefully diploma in hand by end of February!). For the record, I am EDUCATED in the field, so do not try and act as though you are smarter than me and know more about me. I am in it for learning, and if you are able to teach me something, great! If you are just trying to be smarter than me because you think you are 'above me' then bugger off :) (again, there's some heat there, a completely unrelated situation - it's just been a luck week for me haha)

4. I am a vegetarian. I love everything about it! I love the challenge it gives me trying to 'master' it. I am learning SO much with this experiment and I wouldn't change that for anything. Recently we have started going more whole foods in our home. I rarely buy in the middle section of the grocery store. I don't buy my kids fruit snacks. The most processed food they get are yogurt tubes (cuz I freeze them and they're frozen yogurts lol). I don't even buy canned beans anymore, I soak them. Things like that and I feel great! I am overweight still, but that's just part of my challenge I am working through.

5. I am anti-technology. We don't play video games or watch more than 90 minutes of TV a day and we don't own a tablet or ipad, etc. And when we do - it will be strictly for work/school. I will eventually let my kids experience those things because it's part of the world (i'm not stupid), but children do not need to know how to operate some of these things before their 5th birthdays. It's the 'hippy' in me. I don't stop my kids from sitting on grandpa's lap and playing a game with him, minimal exposure isn't what i'm talking about here. I see and have seen too many people consumed with technology, my kids (and me and michael) will know how to play and use our imaginations.

I say all of this because it's what I believe. I am not saying it's the perfect way or the right way, but it it what works in our family and what we will do. Do what you believe is best. I will do my best not to judge you, if you promise to do me the same courtesy.

Halloween 2013

This Halloween I had Carter a Fred Flintstone costume made and I made (with my neighbor) a Wilma costume for me...and Carter wouldn't even put it in AT ALL! I was so sad (and not confident enough in myself to wear my costume just on my own)...there's always next year right? ;_;

Anyways, the -only- thing Carter would wear was a fireman costume that we had (in fact Logan has worn it the last 2 years for Halloween). Carter hates dressing up. The firefighter was okay becuase it's frankly just a jacket, and for some reason he likes the hat. lol. Logan was a ninja turtle. (we are going through a bit of an obsessive Ninja Turtle phase).

Bonus, after halloween I scored on some serious clearance costumes! I bought SEVEN costumes for 5 bucks a piece (all superheros). My Logan just looooves dressing up, so he's often running around as some hero of some sort. :)

I refused to pay 60 bucks for a turtle costume, so we made the mask and belt, and bought the shell for 20 :)...accidently caught this picture!

 

and here's my fireman :)

(LEFT: CARTER, RIGHT: LOGAN AGE 2 1/2)

Vegetarian

I have been a vegetarian for three weeks now. It has been surprisingly easy! I have not missed meat in the slightest. The hardest part has mostly just been eating at other people's houses - eating at home and eating out at restaurants is easy :) ...it just requires a bit of preplanning is all (which being mostly gluten free, it's already a habit of mine to preplan when going places)

Anyways, why vegetarian? A few reasons:

1. My course has changed me. I have read so many books and philosophies, and proven studies that plant based diets are your most healthiest option possible. (Read "Healthy at 100"). I wanted to see if I felt any different after going plant based.
2. Doing this nutritionist course, I wanted to try vegetarianism so that when people who are vegetarian or want to be vegetarian come to me, I can direct them accordinly - because I have tried it myself.
3. I heard some theories that there's a ying and yang to everything, and meat and sugars are (in many books) a ying and yang to each other. So if you take out meat, technically your sugar cravings should diminish. I wanted to try this. So far this has proven to be incorrect for me. (however, halloween is a terrible time to try the theory lol). I noticed a distinct decrease in cravings the first week, but then my usual cravings came back the 2nd and 3rd week (and last week was halloween). Will see! Still making notes. :)

So teh course (Holistic Nutritionist) is coming close to an end for me. I have finished all the bookwork, and I am currently working on my case studies. I am almost done 4 (of 11), goal is to be done by Christmas. The case studies take longer because I can't do them when my kids are around - I need to be able to sit down and -focus- on them uninteruppted.

I am LOVING this course tho! I look so forward to the years of actually learning and remembering the course material i've gone over. As I said before, it has changed me. I look at labels and I am disgusted. I read a whole line of bread's labels and the THIRD ingredient was benzyl peroxide (might be spelling that right). that was the bread's shelf preservative. Isn't that gross? You bread eaters are potentially consuming peroxide! (not all bread uses that particular preservative), it was just one of those 'ah ha' moments about labels.

The things that have changed already:
1. I'm reading labels more
2. I buy very little canned goods - only tomato sauce/stewed tomatoes - no more soups, no more canned beans - I soak my own beans, I make everything from scratch.
3. I don't buy prepackaged kids snacks. The only bagged things I buy is nacho chips and rice cakes and nuts (pistachios, etc)
4. Going vegetarian and whole, clean foods, my grocery bill has cut IN HALF. Literally. I used to spend 150-200 per week on food. Now I spend 50-100 per week.
5. I do not buy organic vegetables/fruits (except for carrots - I think they truly do taste better organic), but I DO buy organic meat. (did you know that ham has wheat in it? I started to buy michael gf ham - who knew!) Meat is surprisingly filled with stuff.
6. I have started phasing out plastic tupperware and we are going more glass.

I think that's all :) It's been a fabulous journey! I don't feel -different- going off meat yet, but that just makes me that much more confident that it's not a necessity to life. (And I do NOT do tofu, for the record).

Oh, and I do still cook meat for my family, but they are also getting more vegetarian meals as well. Logan is already a self proclaimed vegetarian and has been for a year or two (he eats meatballs and -sometimes- a hamburger)...and not by request, only if I serve it to him.

My goal was to go 1 month. I think I will continue it longer though :)

Baby #3

This is not an announcement. :) This is more of a "here's what's happening". I figured I'd be pregnant by now to be honest, but this time around isn't happening -as quickly- as every other pregnancy I've experienced. Whether a viable pregnancy or a miscarriage, I have -always- been pregnant in 1-2 months upon trying (6 times). This is coming on month 5 of trying and my last period I actually felt sad when it came.

So I've decided to focus more on the 10lbs I gained this summer (ridding of it), and starting tomorrow we will be renewing our Spray Lakes membership so I can start boxing/zumba/belly dancing/etc and maybe get into some better shape :)

I'm not freaking out about not being pregnant (just to clarify), but just so you know it's not something thats happened yet for us.

Big boy bed part 2

As you may (or may not have read), Carter was tranferred faily successfully to his toddler bed. That lasted 3 nights LOL. The next 3-5 nights were a huge struggle. We ended up having to put him to sleep on our bed and then transfer him. This was -not- something I wanted to continue...I didn't want another boy in our bed! He just didn't want to be in his room for whatever the reason.

So what do we do??

I decided that we should just put him into the bottom bunk (a double bed) in Logan's room. This was to be the plan eventually because we only have three rooms upstairs, and Carters room is also the 'baby room' - where baby #3 will eventually go when he/she joins our family.

It has been a HUUUGE success in more ways then one! He is going to sleep easily, without upset, and so is Logan. AND - they're BOTH sleeping all night long in their room! Logan hasn't crawled into bed with us for 4 nights now - that is truly a first for him! I almost miss him...well, I miss him -needing- us to sleep with him. That may sound weird, but he has been in our bed with us, or one of us with him in his bed his ENTIRE life (and he's almost 4 1/2) so I think it's a normal feeling right?  Not enough to ask him to come back of course lol.

Anyways, we are beyond estatic for the progress they've both made. And look forward to getting some sleep filled nights the next little while! :)