I rented this movie this week and have been meaning to write a small blog about it. Aside from it dragging out a good 20-30 mins too long, it's just one of those 'make ya think' kind of movies. The jist of this movie is that this man and women (who don't particularly even like each other) are best friends with this one couple. Well the couple had a baby girl and just shortly after her 1st birthday the couple is killed in a car accident and in their will they left their baby girl to the man and women. Over the course of the movie they figure out ways to make it work, etc and of course per Hollywood they fall in love and are a 'happy family' in the end.
This movie got me to thinking - it had alot of tear-jerker moments and of course when you have children (or even not) you have of course thought of the worst case scenario of something happening to you both - what happens to your child(ren)? They reeally captured the heart wrenching reality of this concept. I don't have a specific person(s) in mind that I would leave Logan to, or my future children, but I suppose I have criteria (like I would want him/them raised in an active LDS home and I would like to see him/them raised in a home with a full time stay-at-home mother). Those two things are probably my biggest criteria. At this point we have written in the back of my journal that should something happen to us we have the 'fate' of our kids resting in my mom's hands - should I have an official will: probably, but I don't so that will have to suffice for the time being.
Anyways, It was a really moving movie, and it wasn't a movie that really inspired me to rush out and get a will made or anything like that, but it just was one of those movies that made me start thinking.
We made up our wills right after we found out we were pregnant with Caleb. Should something happen to the both of us, the kids will go and live with Amy. I think it's important to have that set in stone, but I sincerely hope that it's never going to get any use.
ReplyDeleteI believe wills are important though I didn't get my butt in gear until just this January. Dexter was a big motivator for me as I wanted to ensure he was protected. I have seen families torn about by greed, confusion and a difference of opinion. "Perspective" comes into play a lot too as my Mom might interpret something I said differently than Tyler's Mom.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have specific heirlooms, so our wills were pretty basic. If Tyler dies first, I receive all assets and vice versa if I die first. If we die together than Dexter receives all assets in trust until he's 25 (money can be given to him along the way for appropriate items). If all three of us die together, then all our assets will be sold and 50% given to my mom and 50% given to Tyler's mom.
As for custody of Dexter, we have decided that if we both die, my Parents are the first pick as they are financially secure and there are two of them. If my parents are gone, Mary is our second choice.
You also have to pick an Executor, someone to put the Will into action when you pass. For us, it was important to pick an outsider/non-family member who could be more objective and not as easily influenced by others or emotion. Our first choice is Lorna a older woman who is a close family friend, our second choice is Tannis, also an older family friend.
We also things for if we are in a coma, etc. We are going to the lawyers on Friday, to do our final signatures.
A few things that got left out are:
-where our specific assets are,
-our specific after death wishes for ourselves (burial details, etc).
For these, my Mom suggested we keep an updated asset list in a fire safe, safe in our home and let our executors know it exists.
I know it seems morbid, but I think if your wishes are important to you, than you should have them communicated and understood. You and Michael could sit down one night to discuss what you want, type it up, sign it & have it witnessed and it would be as effective as a lawyer made will (it just may have some "loop holes" in your writing).